Part 6 (1/2)

I don't know if I'll ever completely come to terms with the idea of being a ”pop star.” First of all, to me, I'm not even in the same league as what I consider to be a pop star. I just want people to know that I am truly happy to be here, whatever ”here” means! When I first heard someone refer to me that way, I was put off, thinking that it carried such negative connotations. But now, I have redefined what I think a pop star really is-and through this new perspective, I have more respect for the whole thing. A pop star is someone who works hard to communicate and share their talent with other people, and someone who is committed to improving and excelling at what they do. It is someone who consistently uses their G.o.d-given talent to work hard and progress.

Sometimes you never know where the inspiration or feeling will come from To get people to respect your music: I think that's really the goal. In general, the artists that I respect the most are the ones who cannot just sing songs in many different styles, but whose personality ties their body of work together. There is nothing more interesting than diversity and range; but to me, it's just that much cooler when within all that range there's the common denominator of the artist's unique personality and character.

I think Beyonce is an example of ”the ultimate pop star” and, of course, the king himself, Michael Jackson. I was performing at a show in New Jersey when I found out about his death. At first, I thought someone was making some kind of cruel joke. I thought it was an Internet rumor or there would be some other explanation that would account for this totally unbelievable piece of news. Michael was definitely always one of my major influences (”Man in the Mirror” is one of my favorite songs), and I think his love for music showed. You could see it when you watched him or listened to him; and you could always see his love of people. His spirit was sweet and sunny. I think he really understood what music could do for people. He communicated through his music and you could feel his love for people through it more than anything.

As I said, I strongly believe that fame brings with it the opportunity to help other people. You can use your name for the purpose of doing good, as opposed to just being tabloid material all the time. You can actually make a difference. I feel that all celebrities should take this responsibility seriously and take advantage of their position to spread positive messages. I hold this as a top priority as I move further along in my career; whatever ”status” I have will be as much for others as it is for myself, because fame is nothing without generosity and kindness. I have been able to rally behind several great charities and it has been so rewarding to see how much my fans have also gotten involved. I'm amazed at the service and donations they have contributed to these causes like Rising Star Outreach, Make-a-Wish, MS Society, Do Something.org, Stand UP for Cancer, Invisible Children, and the Haiti Disaster Relief efforts. I want to recognize the commitment and personal sacrifices that all the various fan sites make to respect and support me and the causes we are involved with. It makes me so proud to have fans who show through their enthusiasm and actions that they really want to give. It is the greatest way they can show their support of me, and I hope they all know how much I appreciate what they do. I was so honored to be a partic.i.p.ant in the Haiti Telethon in Hollywood and then to be a part of the ”We Are the World” (”Somos el Mundo”) in Spanish in Miami, and to see all these performers who were willing to give of their time and status to help those in need. If I'm going to sacrifice my privacy to be in the public eye, let it be for a good cause such as these. Let any sense of fame that comes to me matter for these kinds of reasons.

Another part of my future without question is school. I don't want to be off the hook just because I had some amazing opportunities as a young person. Instead, I want to maximize those opportunities by committing myself to my development as a person. Education is definitely part of that agenda, and despite the crazy road trip that has become my life, I'm determined to find the balance somehow. I've been trying to do some schoolwork online, but it is really difficult when you are recording, rehearsing, and touring all at the same time. My intention is to work on finding this balance because I hope to go to college someday. I love the idea of studying philosophy, which has always been a subject that really interests me. Cla.s.ses like that get your brain working and engage you to start thinking about the mysteries of life. Besides, I'm young, and while the singing thing is going wonderfully right now, you never know where life is going to take you. I want to be prepared for anything, and I definitely don't want to be one-dimensional. There are moments when I have the feeling that this has all been too much, too soon. Moments when I think to myself, Am I really ready? Am I really ready? I don't kid myself about how young I am, and the fact that a life in entertainment is fast-paced, public and a lot of times stressful. Sometimes I ask myself if I really have what it takes. But in those moments, I remind myself that it's all about putting my trust in G.o.d. He wouldn't have given me this chance if I were not able to handle it despite how unready I really felt. He was the one who motivated me to audition in the first place and I don't think He would have allowed me to get this far if I wasn't capable of the challenges that surround it. I don't kid myself about how young I am, and the fact that a life in entertainment is fast-paced, public and a lot of times stressful. Sometimes I ask myself if I really have what it takes. But in those moments, I remind myself that it's all about putting my trust in G.o.d. He wouldn't have given me this chance if I were not able to handle it despite how unready I really felt. He was the one who motivated me to audition in the first place and I don't think He would have allowed me to get this far if I wasn't capable of the challenges that surround it.

I figure each moment prepares you for the next one, so that by the time you reach the point in the future that you were so worried about, you are ready for it. This concept helps calm me down when I feel overwhelmed by what's ahead. I never think that I'm going to be ready for anything; but when it is right in front of me I usually end up surprising myself. If I have to leave you with one thing, it is that you should always be willing to follow your instincts. Our instincts, which you could also call our inner voice or our conscience, knows what's best for us, and tempted as we all tend to be to stifle that voice, we have to remember-it knows. It knows the deepest things about us. If I hadn't followed my instincts, I'd probably still be running sound tech at the Murray Amphitheater right now. Maybe many of us are discouraged from listening to our conscience because of the pressures we get from society to pursue other types of achievements. Everyone has their reasons for doing (or not doing) what they do. But it is now my deep belief that when you follow your gut, you almost always end up where you need to be. Deep inside, we know our own truths, so it is our job to pay attention to the rumblings of our soul.

. . . fame brings with it the opportunity to help other people.

As for myself, my conscience told me a profound truth about myself that essentially ignited me. It provided me with the answers when my life was all questions; it fueled me with faith when I wasn't sure what was best for me. It connected me with the parts of myself that would always matter most, and I know that it will continue to guide me as I move forward in my life. My conscience led me to give music another try and, in turn, has led me to great personal joy. I hope that my story has in some way inspired you to trust your own instincts, to follow your conscience, to have faith in yourself, so that you too can find joy and happiness.

And remember, even when you can't sing, you can always plant a tree. . . .

MUSICAL APPENDIX.

I was very fortunate to have been exposed to a wide variety of music and artists since I was young. This has definitely influenced my approach to singing and performing, as well as what I am now trying to get across in the songs I write. Every new song that I hear teaches me some unique lesson; it invites me to listen and learn from its structure and lyrics the emotional essence of the song. To this end, I have been a student of songs since I was quite young, reading several volumes of different Billboard books, trying to understand what songs were popular over the years, and more importantly, why they were popular. was very fortunate to have been exposed to a wide variety of music and artists since I was young. This has definitely influenced my approach to singing and performing, as well as what I am now trying to get across in the songs I write. Every new song that I hear teaches me some unique lesson; it invites me to listen and learn from its structure and lyrics the emotional essence of the song. To this end, I have been a student of songs since I was quite young, reading several volumes of different Billboard books, trying to understand what songs were popular over the years, and more importantly, why they were popular.

There have been so many songs over the years that moved me intensely and they continue to so. I thought I would leave you with a list of some of my all-time favorites, a wide range of music that tells many different stories and communicates many kinds of feelings. Here they are:

SOME OF MY FAVORITE SONGS:.