Part 3 (1/2)
”Do not know,” said the little demon, softly. ”Something . . . wrong. Something . . . strange.”
I saw Grant limping across the encampment toward us-let my gaze linger, taking in his gaunt frame, hollow eyes-and turned to Lord Ha'an. ”Tell me what happened.”
Lord Ha'an's broad chest rose and fell against the armor of his thick braids and silver chains. ”These humans were brought here and killed. Supposedly, I was told, so that the rest of the clan could share in the spoils. Those responsible tried to escape my punishment. We captured all but one, and she is still missing.”
”Great. And the ones you caught?”
”I ate their hearts.”
I glanced sideways at him. Lord Ha'an noticed and studied me. ”Do not tell me I should have offered mercy?”
”No,” I replied, simply. ”I was just wondering how you are.”
I felt his gaze on me-intense, searching. I pretended I didn't notice. ”Are you losing control over your people?”
His silence lasted longer this time. ”They believe I have failed to protect them. And I have, young Queen. I have. Nor does it help that they see me obeying a human. A human who has done little to earn their obedience. Besides killing them,” he added, after a moment. ”You inherited power, yes . . . but what is that?”
”Nothing. I never wanted to be anyone's Queen.”
”But the mantle falls upon you . . . and for you we sacrifice much. Perhaps we will sacrifice even more if the Aetar must be fought again.” Lord Ha'an looked at his hands, those thin, deadly fingers. ”My people hunger for the hunt. That is something I cannot control.”
I thought about what Blood Mama had said. ”I won't let them kill.”
”And yet some of my warriors did just that.” Bitterness touched his voice. ”It would have been wiser to allow them a controlled hunt of your world's undesirables. To sate their desire.”
”Playing G.o.d,” I muttered. ”No.”
Lord Ha'an gave me a sharp look. ”And those of my kind who have been killed because you considered us your enemies?” He leaned close, ignoring the warning hisses coming from my hair. ”I can forgive those deaths. But you risk too much, you risk us all, when you ignore your own power. You have a G.o.d inside you, young Queen. Respect that. Fear that. I do not know how you have resisted being consumed, but your freedom cannot last.” He looked at the encampment, and in a soft voice added, ”I remember the feeling of its power inside our Kings, inside us, as it controlled our hearts.”
”Ha'an.”
”It is not a merciful G.o.d,” he whispered, and darkness stirred inside me, deep below my heart. A slow awakening, a fullness that bloomed within my chest and rose into my throat.
There is no mercy in hunger, whispered a sinuous voice, curling around my mind until it rested far behind my eyes. No mercy when you are past the size of dreaming.
I pushed that presence away, pushed hard, ignoring its quiet satisfaction. But the air was suddenly too hot beneath the trees: on my face, in my throat, inside me-burning, suffocating. Lord Ha'an leaned away, watching my face with narrowed eyes. I could smell the fresh human blood surrounding us. I could taste it, the spice in the air-wet and soft, and warm. My mouth watered.
The armor on my right hand flared to life: the heat of it sliced through me like a sword, from crown to belly. I felt that jolt, and flinched, sucking in such a sharp breath it was almost a gasp. My cheeks were hot. I felt naked to the bone.
No, I said to the darkness. I'm not yours.
You have always been mine, it replied. This is our dance, and it is sweet.
The dance is over. But it was like pulling my will from the jaws of a dragon-my soul stretched until it was rubber, until there was no more give-but I kept pulling, hearing myself cry out in pain- -until I tore free.
Free, and the terrible hunger was gone. I wiped my mouth.
”Young Queen,” Ha'an murmured, bowing his head. I couldn't look at him. My eyes felt wet. Fear hammered my heart, but I swallowed it down, down where I felt soft laughter-nothing but a vibration against my ribs. The sleeping G.o.d, the darkness and its slow coil around my heart. That slow, tightening coil.
I felt Grant near me. I turned and found him standing near the bodies, leaning hard on his cane-knuckles white, face gaunt, eyes too dark as he watched me. He needed a haircut, I thought idly. I needed to run my hands through his hair and hold him close. He was slipping away, right in front of me. Maybe I was, too, in a different way.
I touched my stomach and walked to him. Dek and Mal were quiet, squeezing my ears between their claws until it hurt. Zee watched me from the shadows.
”You okay?” Grant asked, as I reached up to rub the heads of the two little demons coiled around my throat.
”You tell me,” I replied, and the corner of his mouth softened as his gaze flicked over me, reading my aura, my light. His gift, and his curse.
”Still beautiful.” His mouth relaxed into a gentle smile. ”Sorry it took me so long. I had to settle my demons. The Shurik were disappointed they missed the fight, and the Yorana were . . . same as usual.”
”a.s.sholes?”
His smile widened. ”Divas.”
”Some of them were there when we were attacked. They didn't lift a finger.”
”I know.” Grant took a deep breath. ”They all heard about these dead humans.”
”I bet they wanted some.”
Grant grunted and opened his s.h.i.+rt.
”f.u.c.k,” I said.
A maggot the size of a hot dog clung to my husband's chest. Several of them, in fact: one on his rib cage, and the other pressed tight to his shoulder. All of them were the corpse color of zombie white, glistening with a snakelike sheen and pulsing with such violent force I half expected them to launch right off his body.
Dek and Mal extended their heads from my hair and let out a hungry chirp. The maggots immediately went still.
”I'm never having s.e.x with you again,” I said.
”They understand you.”
”Good.” I pointed at his chest. ”Are you insane?”
”I'm trying to teach them not to crave human flesh.”
I loved my husband, but I was going to kill him. I hated the Shurik. Their previous lord had been a malevolent, giggling . . . t.u.r.d . . . and I had killed him with deep and probably disturbing pleasure. I didn't feel much better about the rest of his people, and I wasn't a big enough person to find any kind of connection or redeeming value in slugs that burrowed inside living creatures and ate them from the inside out. They certainly weren't worth more than my husband's life.
I pointed to the mutilated corpses. ”Close your s.h.i.+rt, please, and let's focus.”
Grant shook his head-still smiling-and covered the pulsating little demons. As he did, he looked down at the mutilated corpses. The smile faded. And then he swayed, so far to the right I thought he might fall.
”Hey,” I said, reaching for him.
”Don't touch me,” he said, still looking away.
I froze. He managed to straighten, with an effort, and murmured, ”Look at them, Maxine.”