Part 20 (1/2)
”Listen, there is very little time. It is all a mistake. I mean Herbert was wrong. He might as well have let me have my earthly span of happiness or folly--call it what you will.”
”You see that now--thank G.o.d!”
”Yes, but I see it too late, I did not know it until--until I was dead.
Hus.h.!.+” Again I tried to interrupt her, for I thought her mind was wandering. ”I died psychically with Herbert. That was when we first saw the light on the island. Since then I have lived mechanically, but it has only been life in so low a form that I do not now know what has happened between that time and this. And I could not now speak as I am speaking save by a will power which is costing me very dear. But it is the only voice you could hear. I do not therefore count the cost. My brother's brain so far overmatched my own that it first absorbed and finally destroyed my mental vitality. This influence removed, I am a rudderless s.h.i.+p at sea--bound to perish.”
”May his torments endure for ever. May the nethermost pit of h.e.l.l receive him!” I said with a groan of agony.
But Natalie said: ”Hus.h.!.+ I might have lingered on a little longer, but I chose to concentrate the vital force which would have lasted me a few more senile years into the minutes necessary for this message from me to you--a message I could not have given you if he were not dead. And I am dying so that you may hear it. Dying! My G.o.d! I am already dead.”
She seemed to struggle against some force that battled with her, and the roar of many waters was louder around us before she was able to speak again.
”Bend lower, Arthur; my strength is failing, and I have not yet said that for which I am here. Lower still.
”I said it is all a mistake--a hideous mistake. Existence as we know it is ephemeral. Suffering is ephemeral. There is nothing everlasting but love. There is nothing eternal but mind. Your mind is mine. Your love is mine. Your human life may belong to whomsoever you will it. It ought to belong to that brave girl below. I do not grudge it to her, for I have _you_. We two shall be together through the ages--for ever and for ever.
Heart of my heart, you have striven manfully and well, and if you did not altogether succeed in saving my flesh from premature corruption, be satisfied in that you have my soul. Ah!”
She pressed her hands to her head as if in dreadful pain. When she spoke again her voice came in short gasps.
”My brain is reeling. I do not know what I am saying,” she cried, distraught. ”I do not know whether I am saying what is true or only what I imagine to be true. I know nothing but this. I was mesmerised. I have been so for two years. But for that I would have been happy in your love--for I was a woman before this hideous influence benumbed me. They told me it was only a fool's paradise that I missed. But I only know that I have missed it. Missed it--and the darkness of death is upon me.”
She ceased to speak. A shudder convulsed her, and then her head sank gently on my shoulder.
At that moment the great wave broke over the vessel, whirling her helpless like a cork on the ripples of a mill pond; las.h.i.+ng her with mighty strokes; sweeping in giant cataracts from stern to stem; smas.h.i.+ng, tearing everything; deluging her with hissing torrents; crus.h.i.+ng her with avalanches of raging foam. Then the ocean tornado pa.s.sed on and left the _Esmeralda_ behind, with half the crew disabled and many lost, her decks a ma.s.s of wreckage, her masts gone. The crippled s.h.i.+p barely floated. When the last torrent of spray pa.s.sed, and I was able to look to Natalie, her head had drooped down on her breast.
I raised her face gently and looked into her wide open eyes.
She was dead.
CHAPTER XX.
CONCLUSION.
Taking up my girl's body in my arms, I stumbled over the wreck-enc.u.mbered deck, and bore it to the state-room she had occupied on the outward voyage. Percival was too busy attending to wounded sailors to be interrupted. His services, I knew, were useless now, but I wanted him to refute or corroborate a conviction which my own medical knowledge had forced upon me. The thought was so repellent, I clung to any hope which might lead to its dispersion. I waited alone with my dead.
Percival came after an hour, which seemed to me an eternity. He stammered out some incoherent words of sympathy as soon as he looked in my face. But this was not the purpose for which I had detached him from his pressing duties elsewhere. I made a gesture towards the dead girl.
He attended to it immediately. I watched closely and took care that the light should be on his face, so that I might read his eyes rather than listen to his words.
”She has fainted!” he exclaimed, as he approached the rigid figure. I said nothing until he turned and faced me. Then I read his eyes. He said slowly: ”You are aware, Marcel, that--that she is dead?”
”I am.”
”That she has been dead--several hours?”
”I am.”
”But let me think. It was only an hour--”