Part 32 (1/2)
”No,” said John, ”that is very true.”
”You must forget all about it and begin again. You have missed one bird, but you are a good shot, and you will not miss the next.”
”You are a most encouraging person, Miss Thorn,” said John with a faint smile. ”But you know the only test of a good shot is that one hits the mark. I have missed at the first trial, and that is no reason why I should not miss at the second, too.”
”You are disappointed and unhappy now,” said Joe, gently. ”It is very natural indeed. Anybody would feel like that. But you must not believe in yourself any less than your friends believe in you.”
”I fancy my friends do not all think alike,” answered John. ”But I am grateful to you for what you say.”
He was indeed grateful, and the soothing sound of her gentle voice was the best refreshment for his troubled spirit. He thought for a moment how brave a man could be with such a woman by his side; and the thought pleased him, the more because he knew that it could not be realized. They sat in silence for a while, contented to be together, and in sympathy. But before long the anxiety for the future and the sense of his peculiar position came over John again.
”Do you know,” he said, ”there are times when I regret it all very much? I never told any one so before--perhaps I was never so sure of it as I have been since this affair.”
”What is it that you regret so much?” asked Joe, softly. ”It is a n.o.ble life.”
”It is, indeed, if only a man knows how to live it,” answered John. ”But sometimes I think I do not. You once said a very true thing to me about it all. Do you remember?”
”No; what was it?”
”You said I should not succeed because I am not enough of a partisan, and because every one is a partisan here.”
”Did I? Yes, I remember saying it,” answered Joe, secretly pleased that he should not have forgotten it. ”I do not think it is so very true, after all. It is true to-day; but it is for men like you to set things right, to make partisans.h.i.+p a thing of the past. Men ought to make laws because they are just and necessary, not in order that they may profit by them at the expense of the rest of the world. And to have such good laws men ought to choose good men to represent them.”
”There is no denying the truth of that,” said John. ”That is the way to construct the ideal republic. It would be the way to do a great many ideal things. You need only persuade humanity to do right, and humanity will do it. Verily, it is an easy task!” He laughed, a little bitterly.
”It is not like you to laugh in that way,” said Joe, gravely.
”No; to tell the truth, I am not overmuch inclined to laugh at anything to-day, excepting myself, and I dare say there are plenty of people who will do that for me without the asking. They will have no chance when I am gone.”
Joe started slightly.
”Gone?” she repeated. ”Are you going away?”
”It is very likely,” said John. ”A friend of mine has warned me to be ready to start at a moment's notice on very important business.”
”But it is uncertain, then?” asked Joe, quickly. She had turned very white in an instant, and she looked straight across the little room and pulled nervously at her fan. She would not have dared to let her eyes meet John's at that moment.
”Yes, rather uncertain,” answered John. ”But he would not have sent me such a warning unless it were very likely that he would really want me.”
Joe was silent; she could not speak.
”So you see,” continued Harrington, ”I may leave to-morrow, and I cannot tell when I may come back. That is the reason I was glad to find you here.
I would have called to-day, if it had been possible, after I got the message.” He spoke calmly, not dreaming of the storm of fear and pa.s.sion he was rousing in the heart of the fair girl beside him.
”Where--where are you going?” asked Joe in a low voice.
”Probably to England,” said John.
Before the words were out of his mouth he turned and looked at her, suddenly realizing the change in her tones. But she had turned away from him. He could see the quiver of her lips and the beating throb of her beautiful throat; and as he watched the outline of her cheek a tear stole slowly over the delicate skin, and trembled, and fell upon her white neck.
But still she looked away.