Part 5 (2/2)

We found the Yamen not suitable for our large household, as it did not lend itself readily to the reception of foreigners and the innovations and new customs that seem to be necessary for the fulfillment of the duties of a Chinese official under this new order. As thy son was selected governor of this province because of his knowledge of foreign lands and customs, it is necessary for him to live, partly at least, the life of a European; but let me a.s.sure thee that, so far as I am concerned, and so far as I can influence it, our life behind the screens will always be purely Chinese, and the old, unchanged customs that I love will rule my household. I will surrender no more than is necessary to this new tide of Westernism that seems to be sweeping our China from its moorings; but-- I must not dwell o'ermuch upon that theme, though it is a subject on which I can wax most eloquent, and I know thou desirest to hear of this house which would seem so ugly in thine eyes.

There are no quiet courtyards, no curving roofs, no softly shaded windows of sh.e.l.l, no rounded archways; but all is square and glaring and imposing, seeming to look coldly from its staring windows of gla.s.s at the stranger within its gates. It says loudly, ”I am rich; it costs many thousands of taels to make my ugliness.” For me, it is indeed a ”foreign” house. Yet I will have justice within my heart and tell thee that there is much that we might copy with advantage. In place of floors of wide plain boards, and walls of wood with great wide cracks covered with embroideries and rugs, as in the Chinese homes, the floors are made of tiny boards polished until they glisten like unto the sides of the boats of the tea-house girls, and the walls are of plaster covered, as in our rooms of reception, with silk and satin, and the chairs and couches have silken tapestry to match their colour.

This furniture, strange to me, is a great care, as I do not understand its usages, and it seems most stiff and formal. I hope some day to know a foreign woman on terms of friends.h.i.+p, and I will ask her to touch the room with her hands of knowledge, and bring each piece into more friendly companions.h.i.+p with its neighbour. Now chairs look coldly at tables, as if to say, ”You are an intruder!” And it chills me.

This house is much more simple than our homes, because of the many modern instruments that make the work less heavy and allow it to be done by few instead of many, as is our way. It is not necessary to have a man attend solely to the lighting of the lamps. Upon the wall is placed a magic b.u.t.ton which, touched even by the hand of ignorance, floods the room with the light of many suns. We see no more the water-carrier with his two great wooden buckets swinging from the bamboo as he comes from river or ca.n.a.l to pour the water into the great kangs standing by the kitchen door. Nor do we need to put the powder in it to make it clear and wholesome. That is all done by men we do not see, and they call it ”sanitation.” The cook needs only to turn a small bra.s.s handle, and the water comes forth as from a distant spring. It reminds me of the man who came to my father, when he was governor of Wuseh, and wished to install a most unheard-of machine to bring water to the city from the lake upon the hillside. My father listened most respectfully to the long and stupid explanation, and looked at the clear water which the foreign man produced to show what could be done, then, shaking his head, said, ”Perhaps that water is more healthful, as you say, but it is to me too clear and white. It has no body, and I fear has not the strength of the water from our ca.n.a.ls.”

Another thing we do not hear is the rattle of the watchman as he makes his rounds at night, and I miss it. In far Sezchuan, on many nights when sleep was distant, I would lie and listen as he struck upon his piece of hollow bamboo telling me that all was well within our compound. Now the city has police that stand outside the gateway.

Many are men from India-- big black men, with fierce black beards and burning eyes. Our people hate them, and they have good cause.

They are most cruel, and ill-treat all who come within their power. But we must tread with cat-like steps, as they are employed by the English, who protect them at all times. They are the private army of that nation here within our city, and at every chance their numbers are constantly increased. I do not understand this question of police.

There are in thousands of our cities and villages no police, no soldiers, yet there is less lawlessness and vice in a dozen purely Chinese cities than in this great mongrel town that spends many tens of thousands of taels each year upon these guardians of the people's peace. It seems to me that this should tell the world that the force of China is not a physical force, but the force of the law-abiding instinct of a happy common people, who, although living on the verge of misery and great hunger, live upright lives and do not try to break their country's laws.

There is a garden within our walls, but not a garden of winding pathways and tiny bridges leading over lotus ponds, nor are there hillocks of rockery with here and there a tiny G.o.d or temple peeping from some hidden grotto. All is flat, with long bare stretches of green gra.s.s over which are nets, by which my children play a game called tennis. This game is foolish, in my eyes, and consists of much jumping and useless waste of strength, but the English play it, and of course the modern Chinese boy must imitate them. I have made one rule: my daughters shall not play the game. It seems to me most shameful to see a woman run madly, with great boorish strides, in front of men and boys. My daughters pout and say it is played by all the girls in school, and that it makes them strong and well; but I am firm. I have conceded many things, but this to me is vulgar and unseemly.

Need I tell thee, Mother mine, that I am a stranger in this great city, that my heart calls for the hills and the mountain-side with its ferns and blossoms? Yesterday at the hour of twilight I drove to the country in the motor (a new form of carrying chair that thou wouldst not understand-- or like) and I stopped by a field of flowering mustard. The scent brought remembrance to my heart, and tears flowed from beneath my eyelids. The delicate yellow blossoms seemed to speak to me from out their golden throats, and I yearned to hold within my arms all this beauty of the earth flowering beneath my feet. We stayed until the darkness came, and up to the blue night rose from all the fields ”that great soft, bubbling chorus which seems the very voice of the earth itself-- the chant of the frogs.” When we turned back and saw the vulgar houses, with straight red tops and piercing chimneys, I shut my eyes and in a vision saw the blue-grey houses with their curved-up, tilted roofs nestling among the groves of bamboo, and I felt that if it were my misfortune to spend many moons in this great alien city, my heart would break with longing for the beautiful home I love.

I felt sympathy with Kang Tang-li, of my father's province, who heard of a new G.o.d in Anhui. He had eaten bitter sorrow and he felt that the old G.o.ds had forgotten him and did not hear his call, so he walked two long days' journey to find this new G.o.d who gave joy and peace to those who came to him. He arrived at eventime, the sun was setting in a lake of gold, but even with its glory it could not change the ugly square-built temple, with no curves or grace to mark it as a dwelling-place of G.o.ds. Kang walked slowly around this temple, looked long at its staring windows and its tall and ugly spire upon the rooftree which seemed to force its way into the kindly blue sky; then, saddened, sick at heart, he turned homeward, saying deep within him no G.o.d whom he could reverence would choose for a dwelling-place a house so lacking in all beauty.

Is this a long and tiresome letter, my Honourable Mother? But thou art far away, and in thy sheltered walls yearn to know what has come to us, thy children, in this new and foreign life. It is indeed a new life for me, and I can hardly grasp its meaning. They are trying hard to force us to change our old quietude and peace for the rush and worry of the Western world, and I fear I am too old and settled for such sudden changes.

Tell Mah-li's daughter that I will send her news of the latest fas.h.i.+ons, and tell Li-ti that the hair is dressed quite differently here. I will write her more about it and send her the new ornaments. They are not so pretty in my eyes, nor are the gowns so graceful, but I will send her patterns that she may choose.

We all give thee our greetings and touch my hand with love.

Kwei-li.

2 My Dear Mother, I have not written thee for long, as my days have been filled with duties new and strange to me. The wives of the foreign officials have called upon me, as that appears to be their custom. It seems to me quite useless and a waste of time; but they come, and I must return the calls. I do not understand why the consuls cannot transact their business with the Governor without trying to peer into his inner life. To us a man's official life and that which lies within his women's courtyard are as separate as two pathways which never meet.

The foreign woman comes and sits upon the edge of her chair in great discomfort, vainly searching for a subject upon which we may have a common bond. I sit upon the edge of the chair from necessity, as these chairs are far too high for me, and my tiny feet hang helplessly in the air. Although the chairs are not so high or so straight and stiff as are our seats of honour, they have no footstools, and no small tables on which to lean the arm. Thou wouldst laugh at our poor feeble efforts to be agreeable one to the other. Our conversation is as foolish and as useless as would be the using of a paper lantern for the rice-mill. With all desire to be courteous and to put her at her ease, I ask about her children, the health of her honourable mother, and the state of her household. I do not ask her age, as I have learned that, contrary to our usage, it is a question not considered quite auspicious, and often causes the flush of great embarra.s.sment to rise to the cheek of a guest. Often she answers me in ”pidgin” English, a kind of baby-talk that is used when addressing servants. These foreign women have rarely seen a Chinese lady, and they are surprised that I speak English; often I have been obliged to explain that when I found that my husband's office brought him close to foreigners, and that my sons and daughters were learning the new education in which it is necessary to know other than their mother tongue, I would not be left behind within closed doors, so I too learned of English and of French enough to read and speak. I am to them a curiosity. It has not been correct in former times to know a Chinese lady socially; and to these ladies, with their society, their calls, their dinners, and their games of cards, we within the courtyards are people from another world. They think that Chinese women are and always have been the closely prisoned slaves of their husbands, idle and ignorant and soulless, with no thoughts above their petty household cares and the strange heathen G.o.ds they wors.h.i.+p.

Of course, these foreign women do not say these things in words, but their looks are most expressive, and I understand. I serve them tea and cake, of which they take most sparingly, and when the proper time has come they rise, trying not to look relief that their martyrdom is over. I conduct them to the doorway, or, if the woman is the wife of a great official, to the outer entrance. Then I return to my own rooms midst the things I understand; and I fear, I fear, Mother mine, that I gossip with my household upon the ways and dress and manners of these queer people from distant lands.

I have been asked to join a society of European and Chinese ladies for the purpose of becoming acquainted one with the other, but I do not think that I will do so. I believe it impossible for the woman of the West to form an alliance with the woman of the East that will be deep-rooted. The thoughts within our hearts are different, as are our points of view. We do not see the world through the same eyes. The foreign woman has children like myself, but her ambitions and her ideals for them are different. She has a home and a husband, but my training and my instincts give my home and my husband a different place in life than that which she gives to those of her household. To me the words marriage, friends.h.i.+p, home, have a deeper meaning than is attached to them by a people who live in hotels and public eating-places, and who are continually in the homes of others. They have no sanct.i.ty of the life within; there are no shrines set apart for the family union, and the wors.h.i.+p of the spirits of their ancestors. I cannot well explain to thee, the something intangible, the thick grey mist that is always there to put its bar across the open door of friends.h.i.+p between the woman of the Occident and those of Oriental blood.

I would ask of thee a favour I wish that thou wouldst search my rooms and find the clothing that is not needed by thy women. My house is full to overflowing. I had no idea we had so many poor relations. The poor relation of our poor relation and the cousin of our cousin's cousin have come to claim their kins.h.i.+p. Thy son will give no one official position nor allow them money from the public funds; but they must have clothing and rice, and I provide it. I sometimes feel, when looking into the empty rice-bin, that I sympathize with His Excellency Li Hung-chang who built a great house here, far from his home province.

When asked why, unlike the Chinese custom, he builded so far from kith and kin, he answered, ”You have placed the finger upon the pulse-beat the first instant. I built it far away, hoping that all the relatives of my relatives who find themselves in need, might not find the money where-with to buy a ticket in order to come and live beneath my rooftree.” (With us, they do not wait for tickets; they have strong and willing feet.) I am afraid that His Excellency, although of the old China that I love, was touched with this new spirit of each member for himself that has come upon this country.

It is the good of the one instead of the whole, as in the former times, and there is much that can be said upon both sides. The family should always stand for the members of the clan in the great crises of their lives, and help to care for them in days of poverty and old age. It is not just that one should prosper while others of the same blood starve; yet it is not just that one should provide for those unwilling to help themselves. I can look back with eyes of greater knowledge to our home, and I fear that there are many eating from the bowl of charity who might be working and self-respecting if they were not members of the great family Liu, and so ent.i.tled to thy help.

It is the hour for driving with the children. We all are thine and think of thee each day.

Kwei-li.

3 My Mother, I have such great news to tell thee that I hardly know where to begin.

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