Part 42 (1/2)
”Mr. d'Alcacer would express this by saying that everything rested on honour,” commented Mrs. Travers with lips that did not tremble, though from time to time she could feel the accelerated beating of her heart.
”Call it what you like. It's something that a man needs to draw a free breath. And look!--as you see me standing before you here I care for it no longer.”
”But I do care for it,” retorted Mrs. Travers. ”As you see me standing here--I do care. This is something that is your very own. You have a right to it. And I repeat I do care for it.”
”Care for something of my own,” murmured Lingard, very close to her face. ”Why should you care for my rights?”
”Because,” she said, holding her ground though their foreheads were nearly touching, ”because if I ever get back to my life I don't want to make it more absurd by real remorse.”
Her tone was soft and Lingard received the breath of those words like a caress on his face. D'Alcacer, in the Cage, made still another effort to keep up his pacing. He didn't want to give Mr. Travers the slightest excuse for sitting up again and looking round.
”That I should live to hear anybody say they cared anything for what was mine!” whispered Lingard. ”And that it should be you--you, who have taken all hardness out of me.”
”I don't want your heart to be made hard. I want it to be made firm.”
”You couldn't have said anything better than what you have said just now to make it steady,” flowed the murmur of Lingard's voice with something tender in its depth. ”Has anybody ever had a friend like this?” he exclaimed, raising his head as if taking the starry night to witness.
”And I ask myself is it possible that there should be another man on earth that I could trust as I trust you. I say to you: Yes! Go and save what you have a right to and don't forget to be merciful. I will not remind you of our perfect innocence. The earth must be small indeed that we should have blundered like this into your life. It's enough to make one believe in fatality. But I can't find it in me to behave like a fatalist, to sit down with folded hands. Had you been another kind of man I might have been too hopeless or too disdainful. Do you know what Mr. d'Alcacer calls you?”
Inside the Cage d'Alcacer, casting curious glances in their direction, saw Lingard shake his head and thought with slight uneasiness: ”He is refusing her something.”
”Mr. d'Alcacer's name for you is the 'Man of Fate',” said Mrs. Travers, a little breathlessly.
”A mouthful. Never mind, he is a gentleman. It's what you. . . .”
”I call you all but by your Christian name,” said Mrs. Travers, hastily.
”Believe me, Mr. d'Alcacer understands you.”
”He is all right,” interjected Lingard.
”And he is innocent. I remember what you have said--that the innocent must take their chance. Well, then, do what is right.”
”You think it would be right? You believe it? You feel it?”
”At this time, in this place, from a man like you--Yes, it is right.”
Lingard thought that woman wonderfully true to him and wonderfully fearless with herself. The necessity to take back the two captives to the stockade was so clear and unavoidable now, that he believed nothing on earth could have stopped him from doing so, but where was there another woman in the world who would have taken it like this? And he reflected that in truth and courage there is found wisdom. It seemed to him that till Mrs. Travers came to stand by his side he had never known what truth and courage and wisdom were. With his eyes on her face and having been told that in her eyes he appeared worthy of being both commanded and entreated, he felt an instant of complete content, a moment of, as it were, perfect emotional repose.
During the silence Mrs. Travers with a quick side-glance noticed d'Alcacer as one sees a man in a mist, his mere dark shape arrested close to the muslin screen. She had no doubt that he was looking in their direction and that he could see them much more plainly than she could see him. Mrs. Travers thought suddenly how anxious he must be; and she remembered that he had begged her for some sign, for some warning, beforehand, at the moment of crisis. She had understood very well his hinted request for time to get prepared. If he was to get more than a few minutes, _this_ was the moment to make him a sign--the sign he had suggested himself. Mrs. Travers moved back the least bit so as to let the light fall in front of her and with a slow, distinct movement she put her left hand to her forehead.
”Well, then,” she heard Lingard's forcible murmur, ”well, then, Mrs.
Travers, it must be done to-night.”
One may be true, fearless, and wise, and yet catch one's breath before the simple finality of action. Mrs. Travers caught her breath: ”To-night! To-night!” she whispered. D'Alcacer's dark and misty silhouette became more blurred. He had seen her sign and had retreated deeper within the Cage.
”Yes, to-night,” affirmed Lingard. ”Now, at once, within the hour, this moment,” he murmured, fiercely, following Mrs. Travers in her recoiling movement. She felt her arm being seized swiftly. ”Don't you see that if it is to do any good, that if they are not to be delivered to mere slaughter, it must be done while all is dark ash.o.r.e, before an armed mob in boats comes clamouring alongside? Yes. Before the night is an hour older, so that I may be hammering at Belarab's gate while all the Settlement is still asleep.”
Mrs. Travers didn't dream of protesting. For the moment she was unable to speak. This man was very fierce and just as suddenly as it had been gripped (making her think incongruously in the midst of her agitation that there would be certainly a bruise there in the morning) she felt her arm released and a penitential tone come into Lingard's murmuring voice.