12 Time exists in me 1 (2/2)

He suddenly became entirely isolated.

Mao Lu watched as his younger self continued shooting arrow after arrow, pretending that he wasn't aware of what was being said around him.

Mao Lu stared at the bow nostalgically. He had gotten many awards in archery in his youth, he'd started young and had had a very good future in it. However when things had gotten hard for the family he started working part time to make ends meet and he couldn't make it for competitions. When he'd been trying to impress a potential sponsor, due to his lack of sleep and all the stress he'd been going through due to the bankruptcy, his hands began to shake uncontrollably. He couldn't shoot at all, and he ended up losing his only chance of joining a team and going pro. Also paying for equipment and classes weren't cheap. In the end he just couldn't do it anymore, and gave up archery.

He regretted it. It had been a long time and he knew that if he tried now he'd be very rusty, but he still wished he was on that wooden block, and he wished he was shooting.

\”Is time made up of my regrets? Or is it my desire? Or..perhaps are you trying to tell me that my time revolves around me.\” Mao Lu muttered, the only things these two memories had in common was that they both revolved around him.

As he muttered this the scene changed.

On the corner of a quiet street the road was rather dark, only lit by one lamp, it was evening. In this rather empty street heartfelt sobbing could be heard.

\”I was a bad brother to you Lu. I'm so sorry I avoided you. I don't like any of this\” Zhao Detong cried. \”I tried to talk to my Dad but he just told me to ignore you..and...I couldn't look you in the eye...the way my parents betrayed your family. I'm so sorry Lu...I'm so sorry!\” Large tears slid down the handsome and young Zhao Detong's face as he held Zhang Lu's shoulders.

\”I'm sorry Lu!\”

Zhang Lu leaned in and hugged Zhao Detong and wrapped his arms around his waist.

\”I thought you had abandoned me like everyone else because I'd become trash.\”

\”What! Of course not. Do you think I was best friends with you just because of the money. We've known each other forever Lu, you're more than family to me. You trash? you'd never be trash to me.\”

Tears began to slide down Zhang Lu's face. \”Good. I'm relieved.\” he squeezed Zhao Detong tighter in his arms, he didn't want to let go.

\”I should never have left you behind when you were at your worst Lu.\”

\”It doesn't matter, I forgive you.\” Zhang Lu muttered.

\”You shouldn't forgive me so easily Lu, you should at least get mad.\” Zhao Detong stepped back, \”Come on, punch me! Kick me! Get it out of your system!\”

\”Why should I? It's not like you did anything wrong Detong. The mistakes of your parents aren't your mistakes, why should I hate you for something you didn't do? All is forgiven okay.\”

\”Just like that.\”

\”Just like that.\”

A bright smile came over Zhao Detong's face and he put his arm over Zhang Lu's shoulder. \”We're men though, we should really punch this out.\”

\”No we shouldn't.\” Zhang Lu laughed.

Mao Lu also remembered this. He'd been so happy that Zhao Detong hadn't abandoned him that nothing else had mattered. At that very moment he really wanted to confess to him. \”I love you.\” but the words had never been able to come out. The current Mao Lu was glad they hadn't, if they had maybe he really would have lost Zhao Detong that day.

Mao Lu knew now, unlike the foolish him of the past, that he never would have had a chance romantically with Zhao Detong.

\”What are you trying to tell me? Is it that Time keeps going on like this, and I'm helpless to stop it, only able to observe these past events. Or is it that time is only reflected through my experiences?\”

As Mao Lu asked this yet again the scene changed.

It was raining and Zhang Lu was crying as he sat next to a tombstone in a graveyard.

\”Mum! Mum! Mum!\” he yelled \”What am I going to do? Mum!\”

Mao Lu knew this moment too. After his Dad killed his Mother and was sent to prison, he had to arrange the funeral all by himself. His Mother was an orphan and his grandparents on his Dad's side died only a few years prior, and most of their money had been used to pay off the debt.

Despite the hardship he was able to give his Mother a proper burial ceremony.

Barely anyone showed up though. Some of his Mother's close friends came and gave their condolences but they didn't really want to get sucked into the messy debt situation. So they'd left quickly after.

Zhao Detong and Fei Bing Bing came to give him some support but they were only there for a bit before their parents who dared show up, made them leave.

So Mao Lu had been at the grave all alone.

His mother had been his only strength and with her gone he became lost.

He cried for hours in the rain. He confessed to her grave everything he'd kept in his heart. In the end he was sick in bed for two weeks after.

Unable to forgive his Father for what he'd done and in an attempt to avoid the gangster debt collectors, he then changed his family name to his mother's, Mao. Becoming Mao Lu.

As Mao Lu watched this scene he slowly realised the one consistent thing around all of them. All these events were things that had shaped him as a person, they were small points in the journey of his life. All of these events had led to the current him, whether they were happy, angry, or sad.

An ancient croaky voice echoed. \”Time is relative to you. Your time will never be the same as someone else's. Your past is yours alone. Understand that you own your time as much as it owns you.\”

\”I own my time.\” It was such a simple phrase yet the moment it rang through his head he felt a dramatic change in him.

He was suddenly able to see dancing rays of light that were swimming around him. The moment he saw them he felt like they were staring back at him, as if they were talking with him.

He then heard Gates whisper, \”You have now awakened and can now see the essence of time.\”

[1]Xiao'er means this little child/son. It is a chinese expression or rather honorific that one would give their little child.

[2] I'm British so I'm writing it as Mummy or Mum. For those who have learnt American english or are american, don't get triggered by my spelling, thank you.

[3] Zhang Zi, Zi 子 means child, Zhang 张 to stretch like a strong bowmen.

[4] Zhang Hou, Hou 侯 means lord or nobleman