Part 16 (1/2)

MR. MAYOR.--”Well, I guess you speak handsome, sir. But you'd be glad to have two members to support ministers after the next election.”

MR. EGERTON (smiling).--”Unquestionably, Mr. Mayor.”

MR. MAYOR.--”And I can do it, Mr. Egerton. I may say I have the town in my pocket; so I ought,--I spend a great deal of money in it. Now, you see, Mr. Egerton, I have pa.s.sed a part of my life in a land of liberty--the United States--and I come to the point when I speak to a man of the world. I'm a man of the world myself, sir. And so, if the Government will do something for me, why, I'll do something for the Government. Two votes for a free and independent town like ours,--that's something, isn't it?”

MR. EGERTON (taken by surprise).--”Really, I--”

MR. MAYOR (advancing his chair still nearer, and interrupting the official).--”No nonsense, you see, on one side or the other. The fact is, that I've taken it into my head that I should like to be knighted.

You may well look surprised, Mr. Egerton,--trumpery thing enough, I dare say; still, every man has his weakness, and I should like to be Sir Richard. Well, if you can get me made Sir Richard, you may just name your two members for the next election,--that is, if they belong to your own set, enlightened men, up to the times. That's speaking fair and manful, is n't it?”

MR. EGERTON (drawing himself up).--”I am at a loss to guess why you should select me, sir, for this very extraordinary proposition.”

MR. MAYOR (nodding good-humouredly).--”Why, you see, I don't go along with the Government; you're the best of the bunch. And may be you'd like to strengthen your own party. This is quite between you and me, you understand; honour's a jewel!”

MR. EGERTON (with great gravity).--”Sir, I am obliged by your good opinion; but I agree with my colleagues in all the great questions that affect the government of the country, and--”

MR. MAYOR (interrupting him).--”Ah, of course, you must say so; very right. But I guess things would go differently if you were Prime Minister. However, I have another reason for speaking to you about my little job. You see you were member for Lansmere once, and I think you only came in by a majority of two, eh?”

MR. EGERTON.--”I know nothing of the particulars of that election; I was not present.”

MR. MAYOR.--”No; but luckily for you, two relations of mine were, and they voted for you. Two votes, and you came in by two. Since then, you have got into very snug quarters here, and I think we have a claim on you--”

MR. EGERTON.--”Sir, I acknowledge no such claim; I was and am a stranger to Lansmere; and if the electors did me the honour to return me to parliament, it was in compliment rather to--”

MR. MAYOR (again interrupting the official).--”Rather to Lord Lansmere, you were going to say; unconst.i.tutional doctrine that, I fancy. Peer of the realm. But never mind, I know the world; and I'd ask Lord Lansmere to do my affair for me, only he is a pompous sort of man; might be qualmish: antiquated notions. Not up to snuff like you and me.”

MR. EGERTON (in great disgust, and settling his papers before him).--”Sir, it is not in my department to recommend to his Majesty candidates for the honour of knighthood, and it is still less in my department to make bargains for seats in parliament.”

MR. MAYOR.--”Oh, if that's the case, you'll excuse me; I don't know much of the etiquette in these matters. But I thought that if I put two seats in your hands for your own friends, you might contrive to take the affair into your department, whatever it was. But since you say you agree with your colleagues, perhaps it comes to the same thing. Now, you must not suppose I want to sell the town, and that I can change and chop my politics for my own purpose. No such thing! I don't like the sitting members; I'm all for progressing, but they go too much ahead for me; and since the Government is disposed to move a little, why, I'd as lief support them as not. But, in common grat.i.tude, you see,” added the mayor, coaxingly, ”I ought to be knighted! I can keep up the dignity, and do credit to his Majesty.”

MR. EGERTON (without looking up from his papers).--”I can only refer you, sir, to the proper quarter.”

MR. MAYOR (impatiently).--”Proper quarter! Well, since there is so much humbug in this old country of ours, that one must go through all the forms and get at the job regularly, just tell me whom I ought to go to.”

MR. EGERTON (beginning to be amused as well as indignant).--”If you want a knighthood, Mr. Mayor, you must ask the Prime Minister; if you want to give the Government information relative to seats in parliament, you must introduce yourself to Mr. ------, the Secretary of the Treasury.”

MR. MAYOR.--”And if I go to the last chap, what do you think he'll say?”

MR. EGERTON (the amus.e.m.e.nt preponderating over the indignation).--”He will say, I suppose, that you must not put the thing in the light in which you have put it to me; that the Government will be very proud to have the confidence of yourself and your brother electors; and that a gentleman like you, in the proud position of mayor, may well hope to be knighted on some fitting occasion; but that you must not talk about the knighthood just at present, and must confine yourself to converting the unfortunate political opinions of the town.”

MR. MAYOR.--”Well, I guess that chap there would want to do me! Not quite so green, Mr. Egerton. Perhaps I'd better go at once to the fountain-head. How d' ye think the Premier would take it?”

MR. EGERTON (the indignation preponderating over the amus.e.m.e.nt).--”Probably just as I am about to do.”

Mr. Egerton rang the bell; the attendant appeared. ”Show Mr. Mayor the way out,” said the minister.

The mayor turned round sharply, and his face was purple. He walked straight to the door; but suffering the attendant to precede him along the corridor, he came back with a rapid stride, and clenching his hands, and with a voice thick with pa.s.sion, cried, ”Some day or other I will make you smart for this, as sure as my name's d.i.c.k Avenel!”

”Avenel!” repeated Egerton, recoiling,--”Avenel!” But the mayor was gone.

Audley fell into a deep and musing revery, which seemed gloomy, and lasted till the attendant announced that the horses were at the door.