Part 24 (1/2)
THE CONGRATULATIONS.
At wedding receptions, friends who congratulate the newly married couple should address the bride first, if they have any previous acquaintance with her, then the bridegroom, then the bridemaids, and after that the parents and family of the bride and groom. They should give their good wishes to the bride and congratulate the bridegroom. If they are acquainted with the bridegroom and not with the bride, let them address him first and he will introduce them to his bride.
THE BRIDAL TOUR.
The honeymoon of repose, exempt from all claims of society, is now prescribed by the dictates of common sense and fas.h.i.+on, and the same arbiters unite in condemning the harra.s.sing bridal tour. It is no longer _de rigueur_ to maintain any secrecy as to their plans for traveling, when a newly married couple depart upon a tour.
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CHAPTER XVIII.
Home Life and Etiquette.
Home is the woman's kingdom, and there she reigns supreme. To embellish that home, to make happy the lives of her husband and the dear ones committed to her trust, is the honored task which it is the wife's province to perform. All praise be to her who so rules and governs in that kingdom, that those reared beneath her roof ”shall rise up and call her blessed.”
A HOME.
After marriage one of the first requirements for happiness is a home.
This can seldom be found in a boarding house or at a hotel, and not always beneath the parental roof of either husband or wife. It will oftenest be found in a house or even a cottage apart from the immediate a.s.sociation of relatives or friends, acquaintances or strangers, and here husband and wife may begin in reality, that new life of which they have had fond dreams; and upon their own actions must depend their future welfare.
HOME COMPANIONs.h.i.+P.
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Husband and wife should remember, when starting out upon their newly wedded life, that they are to be life companions, that the affection they have possessed and expressed as lovers must ripen into a life-long devotion to one another's welfare and happiness, that the closest friends.h.i.+p must be begotten from their early love, and that each must live and work for the other. They must seek to be congenial companions to each other, so that every hour they pa.s.s together will be mutually enjoyable. They should aim to have the same tastes so that what one enjoys will be alike enjoyable to the other, and what is distasteful to one shall be no less so to the other. Each should yield in matters where it is right to yield, and be firm only where duty is concerned. With a firm trust in one another they should ever abide, that each may say to the world, ”I possess one on whose character and heart I can lean as upon a rock.”
CONDUCT OF HUSBAND AND WIFE.
Let neither ever deceive the other, or do anything to shake the other's confidence, for once deceived, the heart can never wholly trust again.
Fault-finding should only be done by gentle and mild criticism, and then with loving words and pleasant looks. Make allowances for one another's weaknesses, and at the same time endeavor to mutually repress them. For the sake of mutual improvement the husband and wife should receive and give corrections to one another in a spirit of kindness, and in doing so they will prepare themselves for the work G.o.d gives the parents of training lives for usefulness here and hereafter. Their motto should be ”faithful unto death in all things,” and they must exercise forbearance with each other's peculiarities.
Let both preserve a strict guard over their tongues, that neither may utter anything rude, contemptuous or severe, and guard their tempers, that neither may ever grow pa.s.sionate or become sullen or morose in one another's presence. They should not expect too much from each other; if either offends, it is the part of the other to forgive, remembering that no one is free from faults, and that we are all constantly erring.
If, perchance, after they have entered upon the stern realities of life, they find, that they have made a mistake, that they are not well mated, then they must accept the inevitable and endure to the end, ”for better or for worse;” for only in this way can they find consolation for having found out, when too late, that they were unfitted for a life-long companions.h.i.+p. A journalist has said: ”No lessons learned by experience, however sharply taught and sadly earned, can enlighten the numbed senses which love has sent to sleep by its magic fascination; and things as plain as the sun in heaven to others are dark as night, unfathomable as the sea, to those who let themselves love before they prove.”
DUTIES OF THE WIFE TO HER HUSBAND.
The wife should remember that upon her, to the greatest extent, devolves the duty of making home happy. She should do nothing to make her husband feel uncomfortable, either mentally or physically, but on the other hand she should strive to the utmost of her ability to do whatever is best calculated to please him, continually showing him that her love, plighted upon the altar, remains steadfast, and that no vicissitudes of fortune can change or diminish it.
She should never indulge in fits of temper, hysterics, or other habits of ill-breeding, which, though easy to conquer at first, grow and strengthen with indulgence, if she would retain her husband as her lover and her dearest and nearest friend. She should be equally as neat and tidy respecting her dress and personal appearance at home as when she appears in society, and her manners towards her husband should be as kind and pleasing when alone with him as when in company. She should bear in mind that to retain the good opinion of her husband is worth far more than to gain the good opinion of hundreds of the devotees of society, and that as she possesses the love and confidence of her husband, so will she receive the respect and esteem of all his friends.