Part 6 (1/2)
”I think you've made a mistake. I am Lady Georgiana Rannoch, and this is my compartment,” I said.
The horsey face turned decidedly paler. ”Oh, most frightfully sorry. I only saw your back and you have to admit that that overcoat is not the smartest, so naturally I a.s.sumed...” She mustered a hearty smile and stuck out her hand. ”Middles.e.x,” she said.
”I beg your pardon?”
”That's the name. Lady Middles.e.x. Your companion for the journey. Didn't Her Majesty tell you?”
”She told me there would be a chaperon. She never gave me your name.”
”Didn't she? Dashed inefficient of her. Not like her. She's usually a stickler for details. She's worried about the king, of course. Not at all well.”
She pumped my hand energetically all the time she was speaking. Meanwhile the creature in black had slunk past us and was busy loading cases onto the rack.
”All is done, my lady,” she said with a strong French accent. ”I shall retire to my own quarters.”
”Splendid. Thank you, Chantal.” Lady Middles.e.x leaned closer to me. ”An absolute treasure. Couldn't travel without her. Completely devoted, of course. Wors.h.i.+ps me. Doesn't mind where we go or what hards.h.i.+ps she has to endure. We're on our way to Baghdad now, y'know. Dashed awful place, baking in summer, freezing in winter, but m' husband has been posted there as British attache. They always post him to a spot where they expect trouble. d.a.m.ned strong man is Lord Middles.e.x. Doesn't allow the natives to get away with any kind of nonsense.”
I wondered how Chantal and Queenie would get along. Our door was slammed shut and a whistle sounded.
”Ah, we're off. Right on time. Jolly good show. I do like punctuality. Absolutely insist upon it at home. We dine at eight on the dot. If ever a guest dares to show up late, he finds we have started without him.”
I almost reminded her that she had nearly missed the train herself, but I consoled myself that she would not be coming to the wedding with me. I'd disembark and she would travel on to Baghdad where she would boss around the natives. We started to move, first slowly past dingy gray buildings, then over the Thames and picking up speed until the backyards became a blur and merged into bigger gardens and then to real countryside. It was a splendid autumn day, the sort of day that made me think of hunting. Clouds raced across a clear blue sky. There were sheep in meadows. Lady M kept up a nonstop commentary about the places to which Lord Middles.e.x had brought British law and order and she herself had taught the native women proper British hygiene. ”They wors.h.i.+pped me, of course,” she said. ”But I have to say that living abroad is a sacrifice I make for my husband. Haven't had a decent hunt in years. We rode with the hunt in Shanghai, but it was only over the peasants' fields and that's not as jolly as good open countryside, is it? And all those silly little people shouting at us and waving their fists and scaring the horses.”
It was going to be a very long journey.
At Dover we alighted from the train and found Queenie and Chantal.
”Dear G.o.d in heaven, what is that?” Lady Middles.e.x demanded on seeing Queenie, who was wearing the spiky fur coat and red hat again.
”My maid,” I said.
”You let her look like that?”
”It's all she has.”
”Then you should have outfitted her suitably. My dear girl, if you let servants go around looking like oversized flowerpots you'll be a laughingstock. I only allow Chantal to wear black. Colors are reserved for people of our cla.s.s. Come along now, Chantal.” She turned to the maid. ”My train cases. And I want you to stay with those porters every inch of the way until the trunks are safely on board the s.h.i.+p, is that clear?”
”You do the same, Queenie,” I said.
”I ain't never been on a s.h.i.+p, miss,” Queenie said, already looking green, ”apart from the Saucy Sally Saucy Sally around the pier at Clacton. What if I get seasick?” around the pier at Clacton. What if I get seasick?”
”Nonsense,” Lady Middles.e.x said. ”You simply tell yourself that you are not going to be ill. Your mistress will not allow it. Now off you go and no dillydallying.” She turned to me. ”That girl wants bringing in line rapidly.”
Then she strode out ahead of me toward the gangplank. It was a pleasant crossing with just enough swell to make one realize one was on a s.h.i.+p. Lady Middles.e.x and I had lunch in the dining room (she had a hearty appet.i.te and devoured everything within sight) and emerged in time to see the French coast ahead of us. We found Queenie, who was clinging to the railing as if it were her only hope of survival.
”It don't half go up and down, don't it, miss?” she said.
”Your mistress should be addressed as 'your ladys.h.i.+p,' ” Lady Middles.e.x said in a horrified voice. ”I can't think where she found such an unsuitable maid. Pull yourself together, girl, or you'll be on the next boat home.”
Oh, dear. I'm sure that was exactly what Queenie wanted at this moment.
”Queenie is still learning,” I said quickly. ”I'm sure she'll soon be splendid.”
Lady Middles.e.x sniffed. We sailed into Calais Harbor and then we sailed through the ha.s.sle of customs and immigration thanks to Lady M and the royal warrants, which allowed us to bypa.s.s the long lines and the customs shed. I had to admit she was marvelous-frightening, but worthy of admiration as she chivvied French dockworkers and porters until luggage was loaded and we were safely in our wagons-lits compartments of the Arlberg Orient Express.
”Run along now,” Lady Middles.e.x said, waving Chantal away as if she were an annoying fly. ”And take Lady Georgiana's maid with you.”
I was relieved to find I had my own sleeping berth and didn't have to share with Lady Middles.e.x. I was about to come out into the corridor when I heard words I never would have expected to escape from Lady Middles.e.x's lips.
”Ah, there you are at last, dear heart.”
I simply couldn't imagine Lady Middles.e.x calling anyone dear heart, and I knew her husband was already in Baghdad, so I was br.i.m.m.i.n.g with curiosity as I slid my door open. Coming up the corridor, clutching a bulky and battered suitcase, was a middle-aged and decidedly frumpy woman. She was wearing what was clearly a home-knitted beret and scarf over a shapeless overcoat and she looked hot and fl.u.s.tered.
”Oh, I've had the most awful time, Lady M. Most awful. There were two terrible men sitting across from me on the s.h.i.+p. I swear they were international criminals-so swarthy looking and they kept muttering to each other. Thank G.o.d it was not a night crossing or I'd have been murdered in my bunk.”
”I hardly think so, dear heart,” Lady Middles.e.x said. ”You haven't anything worth stealing and they were not likely to be interested in your body.”
”Oh, Lady M, really!” And the woman blushed.
”Well, you're here now and all is well,” Lady Middles.e.x said. ”Ah, Lady Georgiana, let me introduce you. This is my companion, Miss Deer-Harte.”
”I am honored to meet you, Lady Georgiana.” She bobbed an awkward curtsy, as she was still clutching the large suitcase. ”I'm sure we'll have some jolly chats on the way across Europe. Let us just pray that there are no snowstorms this time and that none of those dreadful Balkan countries decides to make war with its neighbor.”
”Always such gloom and doom, Deer-Harte,” Lady Middles.e.x said. ”Buck up. Best foot forward and all that. Your cabin is just down there. Why you had to struggle with that suitcase yourself instead of employing a porter is beyond me.”
”But you know how hopeless I am with foreign money, Lady M. I'm always terrified of giving them a pound when I mean a s.h.i.+lling. And they always look so sinister with those black mustaches, I'm frightened they'll take off with my bags and I'll never see them again.”
”I've told you before, n.o.body would want your bags,” Lady Middles.e.x said. ”Now, for heaven's sake go and get settled and then we'll find the dining car and see if they can produce a drinkable cup of tea.”
As she finished speaking she looked down the corridor and opened her mouth in horror. ”What in heaven's name?”
Queenie was rus.h.i.+ng toward us, blindly pus.h.i.+ng past people. She reached me and clutched at my sleeve like a drowning person. ”Oh, me lady,” she gasped, ”can't I come in with you? I can't stay down there. It's all foreign people. Speaking foreign and acting foreign. I'm scared, me lady.”
”You'll be fine, Queenie,” I said. ”You have Chantal, who has traveled on these trains many times and speaks the language too. Ask her if you need anything.”
”What, 'er with the hatchet face?” Queenie demanded. ”She gives me a look that would curdle milk. And she speaks foreign too. I had no idea it was going to be so-well, foreign.”
Lady Middles.e.x faced the terrified girl. ”Pull yourself together, girl. You are embarra.s.sing your mistress by making a scene. There is no question of your remaining in first cla.s.s with your betters. You will be perfectly safe with Chantal. She travels with me all over the world. Now go back to your own compartment and stay there until Chantal tells you to disembark. Do I make myself perfectly clear?”
Queenie let out a whimper but she nodded and scurried back down the corridor.
”Have to be firm with these girls,” Lady Middles.e.x said. ”No backbone, that's the problem. Disgrace to the English race. Now let's go and see if any of these French people can make a decent cup of tea.”
And she strode out ahead of me down the corridor.
Chapter 10.