Part 2 (1/2)

”The champagne went to her head, I'm afraid,” Darcy said, ”which is why I brought her home and I thought it wise to put her to bed in case she fell and hurt herself, since she has no maid to help her. So if you want to know the sordid details of what happened, I put her to bed, she promptly fell asleep and I was just leaving.”

”Oh,” Fig said, the wind taken out of her sails. ”I wish I could believe you, Mr. O'Mara.”

”Believe what you like,” Darcy said. He looked up at me. ”So I bid you good night, Georgie,” he said and blew me a kiss up the stairs. ”See you soon. Take care and don't let her boss you around. Remember you have royal blood. She doesn't.”

He gave me a wink, patted Binky on the shoulder and let himself out.

”Well, really,” Fig said, breaking a long silence.

”It's bally cold in here,” Binky said. ”I don't suppose there's a fire ready for us in our bedroom, is there?”

”No, there isn't.” I had rallied enough from my drunken stupor to be coherent, and more than a little angry. ”You said you were planning to come in the next week or so, not the next day or so. And why is it that you are traveling without servants?”

”We're just on a flying visit this time, because Binky has secured an appointment with a Harley Street specialist for his ankle,” Fig said, ”and I also wish to consult with a London doctor, so we thought we could save the expense of bringing servants, since Binky told me what a whiz you had turned out to be around the house. Obviously he was exaggerating as usual.”

I stood up, still a little uncertainly. My bare feet were freezing on the stairs. ”I don't think that my father would expect me to act as a chambermaid in the family home,” I said. ”I'm going back to bed.”

With that I turned and made my way back up the stairs. It would have been a grand exit had I not tripped over my dressing gown cord and gone sprawling across the first landing, revealing, I rather suspect, a hint of bare bottom to the world.

”Whoops,” I said. I righted myself and hauled myself up the second flight. Then I climbed into bed and curled into a tight little ball. I had no hot water bottles to place around me but I wasn't going downstairs again for anything. And it did give me a certain sense of satisfaction knowing that Fig was about to climb into an equally icy bed.

I opened my eyes to cold gray light, then promptly closed them again. Darcy was right. I did have a hangover. My head was throbbing like billy-o. I wondered what time it was. Half past ten, according to the little alarm clock on my chest of drawers. Then the full details of the previous night came back to me. Oh, Lord, that meant that Binky and Fig were in the house and by now they would have discovered that I had nothing to eat in the kitchen. I scrambled into a jumper and skirt and made my way downstairs, almost as shakily as the night before.

I was about to push open the baize door that led down to the kitchen and servants' quarters when I heard voices coming from my right. Binky and Fig were apparently in the morning room.

”It's all right for you,” I heard Fig's voice with teeth chattering just a little. ”You can go to your club where you'll be comfortable enough, but what about me? I can't stay here.”

”It's only for two more nights, old thing,” Binky said. ”And it is important that you see that doctor, isn't it?”

”I suppose so, but being as cold as this isn't doing me any good. We'll just have to check into a hotel and never mind the expense. Surely we can still afford Claridge's for a couple of nights.”

”You'll feel better after a spot of breakfast,” Binky said. ”It's about time Georgie woke up, isn't it?”

At that point I poked my head around the door. Both Binky and Fig looked haggard and grumpy, sitting wrapped in their fur coats. They also looked rather unkempt without a maid and a valet to dress them.

The atmosphere as Fig spotted me was frigid in more ways than one, but Binky managed a smile. ”Ah, you're up at last, Georgie. I say, it's bally freezing in here, isn't it? I don't suppose there's any chance of a fire?”

”Later, maybe,” I said. ”It takes a lot of work to light a fire, you know. A lot of scrabbling in the coal hole. Perhaps you'd care to help me.”

Fig shuddered as if I'd said a rude word, but Binky went on, ”Then maybe you'd be good enough to cook us a spot of breakfast. That will warm us up nicely, won't it, Fig?”

”I was just about to make some tea and toast,” I said.

”How about a couple of eggs?” Binky asked hopefully.

”No eggs, I'm afraid.”

”Bacon? Sausage? Kidneys?”

”Toast,” I said. ”One cannot buy food without money, Binky.”

”But, I mean to say . . . ,” he sputtered. ”Dash it all, Georgie, you haven't actually been reduced to living on tea and toast, have you?”

”Where do you think the money might have come from, dear brother? I have no job. I have no inheritance. I have no family support. When Fig says she has no money, she means she can no longer afford Fortnum's jam. I mean I can't afford any jam. That's the difference.”

”Well, I'm blowed,” Binky said. ”Then why the deuce don't you come back and live at Castle Rannoch? At least we have enough to eat up there, don't we, Fig?”

”Your wife made it quite clear that I was one mouth too many,” I said. ”Besides, I don't want to be a burden. I want to make my own way in the world. I want a life of my own. It's just that it's so horribly hard at the moment.”

”You should have married Prince Siegfried,” Fig said. ”That's what girls of your station are supposed to do. That is what your royal relatives wanted you to do. Most girls would have given their right arm to become a princess.”

”Prince Siegfried is a loathsome toad,” I said. ”I intend to marry for love.”

”Ridiculous notion,” Fig snapped. ”And if you're thinking of your Mr. O'Mara, then you can think again.” Fig was now warming to her subject. ”I happen to know that he doesn't have a penny. The family is dest.i.tute. Why, they've even had to sell the family seat. There's no way he's ever going to be able to support a wife-if he ever intends to settle down, that is. So you're wasting your time in that direction.” When I didn't answer her she went on, ”It's all about duty, Georgiana. One knows one's duty and one does it, isn't that right, Binky?”

”Quite right, old thing,” Binky said distractedly.

Fig gave him such a frosty stare that it's a wonder he didn't turn into an instant icicle. ”Although some of us are lucky enough to find love and happiness once we are married, isn't that so, Binky?”

Binky was staring out of the window at the fog creeping in again across Belgrave Square. ”How about that cup of tea, Georgie?”

”You'd better come down to the kitchen to drink it,” I said. ”It's warmer down there.”

They followed me like children behind the Pied Piper. I lit the gas stove and put the kettle on while they watched me as if I were a conjurer doing a spectacular magic trick. Then I put the last of the bread onto the grill to make toast. Binky watched me and sighed. ”For G.o.d's sake, Fig, call Fortnum's and ask them to deliver a hamper. Tell them it's an emergency.”

”If you give me some money, I'll be happy to stock up the kitchen again for you-and more economically than a hamper from Fortnum's.”

”Could you, Georgie? You're a lifesaver. An absolute bally lifesaver.”

Fig glared. ”I thought we agreed on a hotel, Binky.”

”We'll dine out, my dear. How about that? I know that Georgie knows how to cook a splendid breakfast if we provide her with the ingredients to do so. The girl's a bally genius.”

They sipped tea and ate toast in silence. I tried to get down my own tea and toast although every crunch of toast sounded like cymbals going off in my head. I was just wondering when Belinda might be home and how much better it would be to sleep on her uncomfortable modern sofa when the doorbell rang.

”Who can that be at this hour?” Fig said, staring at me as if she thought it was my next lover come to call. ”Georgiana had better go. It wouldn't be seemly for you or I to be seen answering our own front door. Word does get around so quickly.”

I went, as curious as she was to know who was at the door. I was half hoping it would be Darcy, coming to rescue me, although I suspected he wasn't the sort to be up and around before noon. Instead, the first thing I noticed was a Daimler motorcar parked outside and a young man in chauffeur's uniform standing outside the door.

”I have come for Lady Georgiana,” he said, not guessing for a moment that I was anything other than a servant. ”From the palace.”

That's when I noticed the royal standard the Daimler was flying. Oh, golly. Thursday. Luncheon with the queen. With my brain pickled with alcohol I had completely forgotten.

”I'll inform her,” I muttered. I closed the front door and was about to rush up the stairs in flat panic when Fig's head emerged from the top of the kitchen stairs.

”Who was it?” she asked.