Part 1 (1/2)
Backlash.
by Winston Marks.
[Sidenote: They were the perfect servants--they were willing to do everything for nothing. The obvious question is: How much is nothing?]
I still feel that the ingratiating little runts never _intended_ any harm. They were eager to please, a cinch to transact business with, and constantly, everlastingly grateful to us for giving them asylum.
Yes, we gave the genuflecting little devils asylum. And we were glad to have them around at first--especially when they presented our women with a gift to surpa.s.s all gifts: a custom-built domestic servant.
In a civilization that had made such a fetish of personal liberty and dignity, you couldn't hire a butler or an upstairs maid for less than love _and_ money. And since love was pretty much rationed along the lines of monogamy, domestic service was almost a dead occupation. That is, until the Ollies came to our planet to stay.
Eventually I learned to despise the spineless little immigrants from Sirius, but the first time I met one he made me feel foolishly important. I looked at his frail, olive-skinned little form, and thought, _If this is what s.p.a.ce has to offer in the way of advanced life-forms ... well, we haven't done so badly on old Mother Earth_.
This one's name was Johnson. All of them, the whole fifty-six, took the commonest Earth family names they could find, and dropped their own name-designations whose s...o...b..ring sibilance made them difficult for us to p.r.o.nounce and write. It seemed strange, their casually wiping out their nominal heritage just for the sake of our convenience--imagine an O'Toole or a Rockefeller or an Adams arriving on Sirius IV and no sooner learning the local lingo than insisting on becoming known as Sslyslasciff-soszl!
But that was the Ollie. Anything to get along and please us. And of course, addressing them as Johnson, Smith, Jones, etc., did work something of a semantic protective coloration and reduce some of the barriers to quick adjustment to the aliens.
[Ill.u.s.tration]
Johnson--_Ollie_ Johnson--appeared at my third under-level office a few months after the big news of their s.h.i.+pwreck landing off the Maine coast. He arrived a full fifteen minutes ahead of his appointment, and I was too curious to stand on the dignity of office routine and make him wait.
As he stood in the doorway of my office, my first visual impression was of an emaciated adolescent, seasick green, prematurely balding.
He bowed, and bowed again, and spent thirty seconds reminding me that it was _he_ who had sought the interview, and it was _he_ who had the big favors to ask--and it was wonderful, gracious, generous _I_ who flavored the room with the essence of mystery, importance, G.o.dliness and overpowering sweetness upon whose fragrance little Ollie Johnson had come to feast his undeserving senses.
”Sit down, sit down,” I told him when I had soaked in all the celestial flattery I could hold. ”I love you to pieces, too, but I'm curious about this proposition you mentioned in your message.”
He eased into the chair as if it were much too good for him. He was strictly humanoid. His four-and-a-half-foot body was dressed in the most conservative Earth clothing, quiet colors and cheap quality.
While he swallowed slowly a dozen times, getting ready to outrage my ill.u.s.trious being with his sordid business proposition, his coloring varied from a rather insipid gray-green to a rich olive--which is why the press instantly had dubbed them _Ollies_. When they got excited and blushed, they came close to the color of a ripe olive; and this was often.
Ollie Johnson hissed a few times, his equivalent of throat-clearing, and then lunged into his subject at a 90 degree tangent:
”Can it be that your gracious agreement to this interview connotes a willingness to traffic with us of the inferior ones?” His voice was light, almost reedy.
”If it's legal and there's a buck in it, can't see any reason why not,”
I told him.
”You manufacture and distribute devices, I am told. Wonderful labor-saving mechanisms that make life on Earth a constant pleasure.”
I was almost tempted to hire him for my public relations staff.
”We do,” I admitted. ”Servo-mechanisms, appliances and gadgets of many kinds for the home, office and industry.”
”It is to our everlasting disgrace,” he said with humility, ”that we were unable to salvage the means to give your magnificent civilization the worthy gift of our s.p.a.ce drive. Had Flussissc or Shascinssith survived our long journey, it would be possible, but--” He bowed his head, as if waiting for my wrath at the stale news that the only two power-mechanic scientists on board were D.O.A.
”That was tough,” I said. ”But what's on your mind now?”