Part 17 (2/2)

Winn was alone. When the lightning flash lit the sky he tried to look aroundhim but there was no thing to see. From horizon to horizon there was no thing but darkness.

He called out but the wind blew the sound away to be swallowed by thedarkness. The thunder answered like an angry drum demanding silence.

He waited and the lightning came no more. Only the dark clouds were left,roiling closer, devouring the sky, the plains and finally him.

Winn sat up abruptly, breathing hard. The air around him felt thick and heavy like the clouds in his dream. He ran a shaky hand over his face. It was damp with sweat. He could feel the stirring of a breeze from the windowand knew that it would be cooler outside.

As he pa.s.sed through the front room on the way out, he could smell a traceof Dempsey's cigar smoke, which hung in the air as a reminder of the arrogant man.

In a moment he was outside, standing at the top of the steps with his bareshoulder against the porch post, breathing in the cool night air.

He remembered how his mother had insisted the windows be closed at night,believing the night air to be unhealthy. He wondered what she would think of all the nights he had slept in the open. The thought brought a smile to hislips. She hated being wrong.

Winn tried to concentrate on pleasant memories but it was like holding backthe clouds. Anger seemed to surround him, offering evidence that everythinghe thought he knew was wrong.

Mike and Slim would not be back to get him. They may have gotten him helpwhen he had been hurt, but they had abandoned him in the end. They didn'twant to be burdened with a blind man. He shouldn't blame them for that, buthe did. They had returned his horse and belongings and had ridden awayforever. They hadn't even come to see him, to tell him themselves that theywere going on without him. Slim especially owed him that.

Anger s.h.i.+fted focus. It wasn't just his former friends that angered him.

He would not see again. The pain was gone. The swelling was gone. He had to accept it. Hope was gone.

He felt his heart pounding and his breath quickened again. He couldn't let the anger swallow him whole. He needed a plan, a direction, something tokeep the anger behind him.

He wondered if he should talk to Louie. He didn't really know the man buthe seemed to be very practical and Winn was sure he could count on him to behonest. Louie would be gone for a couple more days, but he could wait thatlong, he hoped.

He did not want to talk to Cynthie but he would have to. He was her guestand, though it was time for him to go, he didn't know where or how. Her father had been blind; she might have the best advice.

She was also a woman and probably more emotional, although she hadn't donemuch to prove that so far. Maybe it wasn't her feelings he was afraid wouldget in the way. Maybe it was his own.

He was willing to admit he was attracted to her. He had been forced to realize that during the last few days. But was he a man reaching out to awoman or a helpless soul reaching out for comfort? He didn't know, andbefore he could find out, she always pulled away. Or he did.

In some ways she seemed like a complete stranger. She was always surprisinghim with a sudden change in tone or touch. d.a.m.n, he wished he could see her!If he could see her face, she'd be easier to understand.

How often had he been completely mistaken about her because he couldn't readher face?

And Greg! Whatever his decision might be, he'd never forget the boy.

It was going to be hard to leave him, too. Thinking of Greg made him smile.

He wondered if the child would eventually drive him crazy or be the one thingto keep him sane.

At least he had something he could give Greg before he left. If all his gearfrom the wagon was still intact, the figures he had carved during the drive would still be in his saddle bags. He would pick out one for Greg and sendthe rest to Cora's children.

He would find a way to send them to her without let ting her know he was introuble. She and her family needed a blind man even less than Mike and Slimdid. Maybe he would only send two of the figures now and save the rest forsome future date. That would keep Cora from worrying about him for a littlelonger.

Winn heard small noises behind him that indicated someone was up. He sigheddeeply. Was it morning already or was Cynthie on her way out for anotherpredawn ride? He didn't want to talk to Cynthie now. He didn't want to be asked to make a decision or, worse yet, helped to make a decision.

He stood quietly, hoping no one was there. He heard bare feet slappingsoftly across the front room but they were not heading for the front door.

At the same moment he realized the steps belonged to Greg, he heard thechild's cry.

He turned quickly and fumbled for the doork.n.o.b. ”Greg!” he whisperedloudly, as if the child's cry hadn't awakened Cynthie already.

The moment he was through the door, Greg threw himself against Winn's legs.

”I thought you left,” the boy sobbed.

”You said you would go and you were gone.”

Winn pried the bare arms from around his legs and went down to the child'slevel, let ting him wrap his arms around his neck this time.

”I won't leave without saying goodbye.”

”Daddy did.” The boy sniffed.

”But your daddy didn't mean to leave.” Winn wasn't at all sure he knew how to handle the sobbing child. He was relieved to hear running footsteps, and in a moment Cynthie was beside them.

”What happened, baby?” She put one hand on each of them, wanting to comfortand love them both. Greg clung to Winn all the harder.

”He came down to find me, I guess,” Winn tried to explain.

”I was outside and he thought I'd left.” Her hand was resting on his shoulder, an intimate touch with no s.h.i.+rt to protect him.

Cynthie rubbed Greg's narrow back.”But you found him now. It's all right.””No! He'll leave! He said he'd leave and now he has a horse and he'll ride away!”

Winn held back a bitter laugh.

”I don't think I'll do that any time soon.

I don't know what I'll do, but I'll tell you when I do, Greg. I won't just

leave. ”

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