Part 15 (2/2)

”Maybe the letter was put there after the profit was figured and it was anindication to your husband of what was done right.

Kind of a notice to do something again. If the profit was less there was nonotation. ”

Cynthie looked at Winn as she closed the book. Suddenly she laughed.

”I.

don't know what difference it makes now. I guess I just hate being left out.Is that silly? ”

The dimples deepened under his beard.

”I don't think it's silly.” He wanted to say that her husband had been afool for not telling her all his business deals. She could have been left with debts or commitments she didn't even known about. As it was, she hadhad a harder time taking over because she had to learn everything at once.

”Thank you for your help,” she said softly. She tried to think of something to say to keep him here, talking to her, but she was out of booksand out of excuses.

His face grew serious as she watched him. After a moment he asked cautiously, ”Would you mind telling me a little about your father? Maybe youcan understand why I'm curious.”

”Of course!” she responded eagerly, then, afraid she would scare him off,she asked more quietly, ”What would you like to know?”

Winn shrugged, feeling suddenly nervous.

”I guess I want to know why he was blind. What he did before and after. I don't know.”

Cynthie started slowly.

”Father was about fifty when he started losing his sight. One eye began toget cloudy, then the other eye did the same. His doctor said it was cataracts.”

Winn tried to imagine what it would be like, having the blindness come onslowly with no way to stop it. He wasn't sure whether it would be worse than sudden darkness or if there was some way to prepare for the inevitable. He didn't know how to put these thoughts into questions and decided Cynthie'sfather would be the only one who could have answered them anyway.

Cynthie was watching Winn's face as she talked. ”Looking back, it seems likeit all happened so fast, but he may not have told me about it until it hadprogressed. Anyway, by the time he couldn't see to write, he had hired abookkeeper and later a foreman for the business.

He said he was ready to retire anyway. ”

Winn listened uncomfortably. It was his own fault for asking. Had he thought she'd tell him everything had gone on as before? Had he hoped forsome secret in this man's story that would make his own life easier? Was he still hoping for one? He realized that he wanted her to continue.

”I don't think he would have come west with us if he hadn't lost his sight.His company would have kept him back East, but since it was already beingtaken care of, he felt free to come. Father often told me he was glad he'dcome so he could be with his grandson. Greg was just a baby when we left NewYork.”

Winn smiled.

”I imagine he kept your father busy.”

”He has a tendency to do that to anyone near him.” Suddenly Cynthie felttears coming to her eyes. Winn was really going to leave them.

How could she let him go before she had a chance to help him? Deep down sheknew he had to help himself, and ma king his own decisions was a big part ofthat.

She knew, too, that helping him wasn't her only motivation. She wanted him to stay. She wanted him to fall in love with her. And worst of all, shedidn't have the first idea of how to accomplish it.

She knew Winn was waiting for her to go on. There was so much more she wanted to tell him about her father. How he had taken care of himself, runthe trading business, played checkers, and how she loved him and missed him.Tears were running down her face, and her voice would shake if she tried totalk. She had missed him terribly when he died, but it wasn't her father shewas missing now.

”Excuse me,” she said finally.

”I better start supper.”

She got up rather abruptly and went around Winn into the kitchen. Her hand trailed across his shoulder as she went by.

Winn sat for a moment listening to the busy sounds from the next room.

She had given him a lot to think about this afternoon--disappearing cattle,loans that didn't quite get paid off and curious notations on s.h.i.+pmentrecords. Mostly, though, he was thin king about the way she sounded when shemused aloud and the way she laughed at her own curiosity. In the end, he wa.s.sure he had made her cry. She had dug up painful memories for him, and whenit hurt he had no comfort to offer her.

He rose and made his way across the room to the front door. He had no thingto offer her at all. She would be glad when Slim and Mike took him away.

But he had no thing to offer anyone else, either.

The thought quickly faded as the sun touched the shoulder her hand hadbrushed a moment before. Even though he had caused her pain, she hadresponded with a gentle touch. She was, as he had already decided,unpredictable. Or maybe all this time he had been misunderstanding her.

Suddenly he wanted very much to learn more about her. He wished he would have the time.

He heard Greg call his name, a long call that vibrated with the beat of smallrunning feet. In a moment the small body collided with Winn's legs, but hewas already braced for the impact.

”You got ... to come ... see Sorry,” he said, trying to catch his breath.

”You haven't met her yet. She's Peter's. She lives in the barn.” As the

child talked, he was already leading Winn away.

”Peter says she's gonna have puppies. I think that will be great. Will you want one of the puppies?”

Winn laughed at the boy's enthusiasm. Leaving was going to be much more

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