Volume Ii Part 3 (2/2)
”'Not I, by my own sowl!' says I. 'No, not even a corporal! But then your n.o.ble and valiant wors.h.i.+p knows, howsomdever, that there is a little fish, not larger than four inches in lingth, and about one in bridth, that pilots and leads on the great commodore of the ocean; I mean, plaze your most n.o.ble wors.h.i.+p, the pilot fish,[15] that steers onward the mighty shark, the goliathan of the ocean, to the wictims of his prey! What do you think now, n.o.ble commander, of this apt dissimilitude?'
[15] The pilot fish, called in ichthyology, _Gasterosteus Ductor_.
”'Oh, pardon, good honest friend O'Neale, _vous este une bon garcon_!'
”Upon my own conscience we call this better in ould Ireland by the name of gossoon!--but no matter as to that. He then axed me if I had any patience; 'for,' said he, 'you Irish have no patience at all;' and then talked to himself, that the Irish were like one fiery hot Harry Hotspur, an Hottentot I suppose, that had no forbearance nor patience at all, at all!
”'Och, then, n.o.ble commander,' said I, 'I am the patient, enduring boy after all; I am stationary as an owl at mid-day within an ivy bus.h.!.+ and as patient and forbearing (baring till the time comes) as a heron perched upon the brink of a fish-brook! Och, then, by my own sowl, 'tis I am the lad that will wait for you till the very cows come home!--troth, sure enough, I would at any hop of the ball!'
”'Bravo, bravo! my bould boy;' replied Count Dillon, 'you are the very boy for my business and project--all shall go on well!' He then ejoculated, '_vous avez razon, vous avez razon_,' until I fairly thought that he would have lost his own razon all out and out, any how!”
”But pray proceed, Mr. Phelim O'Neale, with your narrative, in which I begin to take some little interest.”
”Thus emboldened, your Riverence, as I was by my commander's lave, I up and tould him, as I till you and your friend, all my plan, of which he highly approbated. Every matter being duly prepared, a time for making the grand attack was appointed. The soldiers who were to make the attempt, as I have already tould your Riverence, were all disguised as Flemish peasants, in their blue caps and blue frocks, and were each man to have a Flanders' pipe stuck in his jaw, and smoking away briskly, as much as to say, _the devil may care for yeez all_! I will now till the whole of my contrivance, as plotted and planned from the first to the last, without any deviation or prevarication from the truth at all, at all! To go on then with my story:--the charabbon, or waggon, contained, as already I have said, thirty soldiers, who upon this occasion were to be headed by me; in the cart we had several stout planks of oak, which were destinated for a treble purpose: firstly, to hide us who were packed beneath, but whose hearts were strong and unbending as the planks over our heads; and secondly, to support some baskets of fruit and vegetables, for which this country is most remarkable.”
”Yes,” said Doctor M'Kenzie, addressing Colonel Davidson, ”it is recorded that when Anne of Cleves, the queen consort of King Henry VIII., wanted a sallad, she used to despatch a messenger to Flanders to procure one.”
The colonel nodded his a.s.sent, and requested Mr. Phelim O'Neale to proceed onward with his tale.
”Well the planks were, as I said, destinated for a treble purpose, I have tould two of these; the third was, in the last place, to erect them as uprights, to prevent the falling of the portcullis upon our skulls who were to make the attack. And the charabban was intentionally, on purpose to be sure, to be overturned at the door of the guard-house to block up the guard while cracking their walnuts, &c. If this attempt of gaining the Nieuport-gate had succeeded, a carabine was to have been fired to give a signal to the Marshal de Rantzau, who was stationed with the remainder of our force, which, as I have already obsarved, amounted to two thousand men; and upon their coming up in time, in obedience to the signal, we were sure and sartin of the capture of Ostind.
”We had thus anxiously planned, and with strong grounds and hopes of success, this elegant enterprise, which was to burst forth upon the fifteenth day of June; whether the termination was fortunate or the reverse will soon be tould yeez. The military gait and air of the supposed peasants it is thought led to suspicion, and seemed to awaken the attention of the garrison. Just when the charabbonier[16] drove up his wehicle in which I was, and approached to the Nieuport-gate of Ostind, forward advanced the d.a.m.niers, (douaniers,[17] or custom-house officers,) and with their accustomed agility forth flew their rapiers, flas.h.i.+ng in the bright summer glow of the harvest moon; they cut, and thrust, and terced, prodding the contints of the waggon without any distinction or respect of persons or property, whether dead or alive stock, but according to custom, searching for counter-brand goods and chattels. At length a sharp Toledo of one of these d.a.m.ned d.a.m.niers stuck in one of my ribs, and sure enough the blood began to leak. 'Arah,'
roared I, 'what the d--l are you perpetrating; and would you be after murdering me, you Flanders' boucher!'
[16] Charabbonier means the driver, or waggoner, of a Flemish waggon.
[17] It is usual for the douaniers, or custom-house officers, of Flanders, to attend at the gates of the different cities, who search, by means of prodding with a foil, all merchandize coming into or out of town, in order to detect any goods that may prove to be contraband, or smuggled.
”'Ah, hah!--_Jean Bull!_--_Jean diable!_' cried he aloud, '_emportez soldats! ca herse--bas--bas--ouvrez le fenetre!_' Which every body knows is 'shut the gate!' And sure enough bang down went the portcullis, up leapt the draw-bridge; and closed and securely bolted and barred in no time were the gates. And, oh, 'tis true enough, poor Phelim O'Neale had got sartain and sure at the wrong side of the gate, where he was soon made prisoner, and all his brave plans completely dumb-foundered and knocked upon the head in one short and sad moment. I with several others, thus caught in this Flemish trap, were made prisoners; while suspicion being aroused, and all our resources having been cut off, outnumbered as Marshal Rantzau was by the enemy, it was only left him to sound a retreat, and retire to his chaloupes, (large boats.)
”After having remained for a long period in prison, I at last caught the attention of the head gaoler, who taking a fancy to me, made me his under gaoler; and some years after, (seven I think,) upon his death, I was constatuted head gaoler. And here I am; I have a good salary, a good roomy house, and with the allowance of coals and candles. I am married to a pretty, and what is far better, to a good Flemish la.s.s; and we have already four childer in the s.p.a.ce of three years, and the Lord be praised they are all the right sort--they are all of the emasculate ginder! So that I am, in troth, in some sort of mizzure ind.a.m.nified for my losses and sufferings by the post which I here hould.”
Mr. Phelim O'Neale, the head gaoler, or, in phrase modern, _diplomatique_, the head governor of the citadel, paid the most marked attention to his prisoners; and said, that before the morning's dawn he would think of something that would ixtrickate them from their prison.
”For when a man gets into a sc.r.a.pe or difficulty, Riverend Father, he has only to consult an Irishman, who will be sure and sartain to get him safely and genteely out of it.”
”Ay, the Nieuport-gate of Ostend and the Spanish Toledo to wit,” thought Doctor M'Kenzie to himself, ”is a full elucidation of the truth of this proposition!”
Now having left them a most comfortable dinner, or supper, and which answered for both; with a bottle or two of _vin du pays_, and some true and veritable Rhenish wine, the warder of the citadel wished his inmates a good night. But before he departed he took Doctor M'Kenzie aside, and whispered him--”I have so managed it that by to-morrow you and your friend shall have separate apartments at night; to-morrow the arrangement shall take place, and I have much to say to you, holy Father, in secret, and to make many confissions when we shall meet alone on the morrow.”
The next morning by times the warder arrived, and introduced a plentiful and excellent breakfast, not forgetting some excellent Malines ham, in the digestion of which they had been so rudely interrupted at the inn of the old Saint Michael. When breakfast was over he again returned; when opening his cloak, he produced a violin and clarionet. ”Do any of you play upon these instruments?” said Phelim O'Neale.
”Yes,” rejoined Doctor M'Kenzie, ”I was wont in happier days than these to play for my pastime upon the violin. But such a question now in such a place--say to what can it tend? I have no such fancy indeed at present, I can a.s.sure you, my good and kind Mr. Phelim O'Neale.” Who, however, proceeded, quite unrestrained by his Reverence's rebuke--”Can n.o.body play upon the clarionet?”
After some delay and hesitation, at length with diffidence the colonel's servant said, ”Yes, Sir, I once could play upon it when I was----”
”Oh, that,” said Phelim, ”will do capitally! excellent! quite enough!
strim-stram--drimendreuch! All will now, in troth, go on quite well, and with grate success, any how!”
He then laid down the musical instruments, and putting his hands in his pocket, produced several files and saws of various forms and sizes, and then produced a bottle of vitriol. ”My plan,” added he, ”is now fully ripening for the liberation of yeez three; these instruments and implements are intinded to saw asunder the prison bars of your dungeon window, which being within a short distance from the ground, your freedom easily can be afficted without either damage or difficulty, or even resaving a slight prod in the small ribs, when you shall have duly accomplished the nibbling asunder of the meshes which confine yeez! And the Rev. Doctor with his fiddle, and this honest-faced lad with his clarionet--och, och, it will all do bravely and rarely to murder and drown, aye, and bother, that brave and grave gentleman's operatusses in sawing the bars; och, by my sowl, the filing will be fairly bothered.
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