Part 33 (2/2)
”You will not go and utilize a weapon as devastating as the demon sword against my father.”
”Mitsu,” I said, and it took me a moment to muster the strength to say what I was about to say. ”You have no idea of the horrors I saw when I was out on the road. The innocents who suffered. You have no idea what those sights... did to me. Whatever you think you know of Apropos... whatever you think motivates me... it's gone. What remains is a man who can only still the sobbing voices of your father's victims by putting an end to your father himself. I hear them, you know,” and my voice cracked slightly.
”The voices. The dead villagers... all of them, gone, dying brutal, horrible deaths. And your father,” and I pointed in the general direction of the palace where he resided, ”your father has the nerve to tell me that he wants things to change. He wants them to be different. Then he takes me into another room, speaks to me privately. Tells me of his grand plans for Chinpan. And within minutes, he's already sounding like his old self. Talks about ritual suicide in a nostalgic way. Nostalgic!
”Do you comprehend the irony of that? The man hasn't even done away with the practice, and he's already dwelling in sentimental fas.h.i.+on upon the 'good old days' that haven't even left yet! He's insane, Mitsu,” and I made small, circling motions at the side of my head. ”You were right all along. You were always right. The man is too dangerous to live. You have my condolences that he is your father.
Obviously, however, the fact that he is your father is proving too much of an obstacle to get past. That'sfine. I can understand that. I spent much of my youth dwelling upon how I would love to kill my father, if I only knew who he was. When I did discover it, did I kill him? No. I didn't have the stomach for it. And if you don't have the stomach for this, I completely understand.
”But this is not the time for lack of fort.i.tude, Mitsu. This is something that has to be done. And if you are not prepared to do it, then I most certainly am. The only question is do you desire to be there when I do it or not?”
She wavered, looking uncertain. Mordant looked from one of us to the other. ”Mitsu,” he said, ”perhaps it's--”
”Yes,” she said quickly, interrupting Mordant, who looked a bit surprised. ”Yes... I will be there. If it is your desire to kill him on my behalf, then the least I can do is be there to watch. To bear witness to the end of the tyrant.”
That was what she was saying. But I was positive there was more going through her head than that.
She was making some sort of alternate plans. I couldn't know what they were, although I had a guess or two. It was pure speculation, however. I wouldn't know for sure until the actual moment came.
”Very well,” I said. ”Tonight, then.”
”How do you plan to sneak in?”
”Sneak in?” I laughed at that. ”My dear princess... I am to be an invited guest.”
”Oh!” Mitsu then joined in the laughter, her slim shoulders shaking with amus.e.m.e.nt. ”How very clever.
You needn't worry about gaining entrance, for you are already invited. But...what about his guards?”
”There will be none. He trusts me, you see.”
”And the sword? In private conference, he will not permit any weapons to be brought into his presence.”
”Oh, he will allow this one.”
”Why?”
”Because,” I smiled, ”I said I would make a present of it to him. He has no idea of the sword's true nature. He simply admires the craftsmans.h.i.+p of the hilt. But he will find out. Yes, my dear Mitsu,” and I smiled very unpleasantly, ”he will most a.s.suredly find out.”
I was standing in a garden outside the palace, watching the setting sun. The stunning fragrance reminded me in so many ways of Veruh. I wondered what she was doing right about then. I thought of wandering through the garden with her, an arm draped about her shoulders, and making love to her under the scented trees that dotted the landscape.
The brief rustling of wings was more than enough to inform me that Mordant had perched somewhere nearby. ”h.e.l.lo, Mordant.”
There came no immediate answer. I turned in the direction I thought he was, and he wasn't there. I frowned, and then his voice came from a tree behind me.
”What are you up to, Apropos?”
I turned and saw him there, nestled in among the branches. ”I'm not sure what you mean.”
”Yes you are, and yes you do,” he said. He s.h.i.+fted his position slightly to make himself more comfortable. ”I know you too well, have known you for too long. You do nothing unless it's for yourself.
So what is there to be gained for you by killing the Imperior? There's certainly much more to be gained if he lives.”
”Peace of mind, to start,” I said. ”If he dies, no more innocents will perish--”
”Innocents perish all the time, Apropos. They perish, they suffer, they're treated in horribly unfair ways. The death of one man, no matter how powerful he may be in local circles, isn't going to change that. Except I shouldn't have to tell you that. You know it already. Which brings us right back to my wondering what it is you have up your sleeve.”
”I'm tired, Mordant. That's all.”
”Tired of what?”
I sighed heavily. ”Of letting the b.a.s.t.a.r.ds win. Of not doing anything about it because I think it threatens me. Of believing that, because I can't save the entirety of the world, I shouldn't bother to try and save any of it. You have no idea how exhausting it is, always seeing the worst in everything. I want to try and make a difference. I want to try and be something.”
Mordant uttered a curt, disbelieving laugh. ”Can I accept the evidence of my own earholes? Are you actually aspiring to be...a hero?”
”I don't know,” I said thoughtfully. ”I don't think so. A hero is filled with altruism, and lives on a high moral plane. I'm simply someone tired of not giving a d.a.m.n, so I figure I may as well try and give a d.a.m.n about something. Because not giving a d.a.m.n about anything isn't making me happy.”
”Well, I'm impressed. I am indeed impressed,” said Mordant.
”There is just one thing that the two of us have to completely understand.”
”And what is that?”
”If you in any way try and hurt the princess, the last thing you will feel will be my teeth upon your throat.”
”Mordant!” I said with feigned shock. ”And here I thought you were my friend.”
”I am. Were I not your friend, I would not have warned you. Now that you are warned, what you choose to do with the information is up to you.” ”You are too kind to me, Mordant.”
”Yes. I know. It's my single fault,” said Mordant, and he launched himself away from the tree and angled away toward the palace.
Mitsu came to my room as I adjusted the sword upon my belt. My b.a.s.t.a.r.d sword was standing upright neatly in the corner, and the sai were crisscrossed on the floor in front of it. I would have no need for them that night.
She was dressed differently than I was used to seeing her, outfitted in a green silken kimono which did much to set off her eyes. She appeared apprehensive, as I had antic.i.p.ated she might. ”Are you quite all right, Princess?” I asked her.
”Yes. Quite all right,” she echoed.
”Come,” I said. ”Your father is expecting me in his private quarters. We would not want to do something thoroughly impolite, such as be late.”
”Waiting for you?” she said. ”But not for me.”
”I did not mention to him that you would be accompanying me. Why?” I asked. ”Does that present a problem, do you think? He is your father, after all. Certainly he should be glad to see his only daughter, even if it is unexpected.”
”Yes. Yes, of course he would,” she said.
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