Part 44 (1/2)

”No, no, Maine. When Carstairs was hiding behind the screen he was not dying with anxiety to take the Marchesa's crime on his white shoulders--not at that moment. That explanation don't wash. I believe I know a better one.”

Wentworth became very red.

”The d.u.c.h.ess's maid! Did you ever see her? No, evidently not. You've no time for looking at young maids. Taken up with contemplating an old maid in the gla.s.s. You miss a lot, I can tell you. She was the prettiest little baggage I've set eyes on for years. And she was not of an iron virtue. But she wouldn't look at a little thing like me. Can't think why. Come, now, don't look so demure. We aren't all plaister saints like you. _I'm_ not, in spite of my Madonna face. Wasn't that the truth? The Marchesa story is for the gallery. But you and I are behind the scenes.

Mum's the word. But wasn't that why Carstairs was hanging about the house after everyone else had gone just for the same reason that I was--to get a word with that little hussy?”

At that moment a tall, middle-aged man came into the room, and Lord John's roving eye fell upon him. He sprang to his feet.

”Lossiemouth,” he said, seizing the latter's unwilling hand. ”Why, you're the very man I wanted to see. Congratulations, my dear chap. All my heart. s.h.i.+p come in, and ancestral halls, and going to be married too, all in one fell swoop. Know Miss Bellairs a little. Jumped with her in the same skipping rope in childhood's happy hours, danced with her at her first ball. Madly in love with her. Never seen her since.”

Wentworth escaped.

The chamber of his soul had been long in readiness, swept and garnished for the restless spirit that had returned to it--not alone.

CHAPTER x.x.xIV

Est-il indispensable, qu'on s'eleve a un point d'ou le devoir n'apparaisse plus comme un choix de nos sentiments les plus n.o.bles, mais comme une silencieuse necessite de toute notre nature.

The following afternoon Fay was sitting in the little morning-room at Priesthope, trying to write a letter, a long, long letter. Wentworth's last note to her, just arrived by the second post, was open before her, telling her that he could not return for two days. And then the door opened gently and he was before her.

She turned a white, miserable face towards the door. Then as she suddenly recognised him the colour rushed to her face, and she flew to him with a cry and locked him in her arms, kissing his shoulder, his coat, his hands.

He was thunderstruck. Could a few days' absence so profoundly move these delicate, emotional creatures, whom an all-wise Providence had made almost too susceptible to masculine charm! He had never seen Fay like this. But then, he had never seen anything like anything. She withdrew herself suddenly, and stood a little apart, her face and neck one carnation of soft shame.

”But you are in London,” she said, her lip quivering, her eyes falling before his. ”I have your own word for it that you are still in London.”

And she pointed at his letter. ”I was not expecting to see you.”

A joy so great that it was akin to pain laid its awakening hand on him.

”I am glad you were not expecting me,” he said, in a voice that he hardly recognised as his own. ”I'm thankful.”

And he drew her back into his arms more moved than he had ever been.

Yes. He was loved. He loved and was loved. He had not known the world contained anything as great as this. He had always thought that life at its best was a solitary thing, that pa.s.sion was a momentary madness with which he did not care to tamper, that celibacy was a cheap price to pay for his independence. But he and this woman were one. This was rest and peace and joy and freedom. This was what he had always wanted, without knowing he wanted it. One of the many barriers between them went down.

He thought it was the only one.

They sat a long time in silence, his head against her breast. Her face had become pinched and sharp, the lovely colour had faded. All its beauty and youth had gone out of it. Her terrified eyes stared at the wall.

”Speak! Speak now,” said the inner voice. ”You were too late last time.

Speak now.”

”I am very miserable, Fay,” in a whisper against her cheek.

Her arms tightened round him.

”Not so miserable now I am with you, but----”