Part 35 (2/2)

They looked away from each other. Here in this room fifteen years ago they had parted. Both s.h.i.+vered at the remembrance.

Then they looked long at each other.

Magdalen became very pale. She saw as in a gla.s.s what was pa.s.sing through his mind; and for a moment her heart cried out against those treacherous deserters, her beauty and her youth, that they should have fled and left her thus, defenceless and unarmed to endure his cruel eyes. But she remembered that he had left her before they did. They had not availed to stay him. They had only slipped away from her in his wake. And at the time she had hardly noticed their departure, as he was no longer there to miss them.

Lord Lossiemouth had come determined to propose to Magdalen, his determination screwed ”to the sticking point” by a deliberately recalled remembrance of the change the years had wrought in her. He had told himself he was prepared for that. Nevertheless, now that he was actually face to face with her, in spite of his regard and respect for her, a horrid chasm seemed to yawn between them, which only one primitive emotion can span, an emotion which, like a disused bridge, had fallen into the gulf years ago.

And yet how marvellously strong, how immortal it had seemed once--in this same room with this same woman. It had seemed then as if it could not break, or fall, or fade.

It had broken, it had fallen, it had faded.

As he looked earnestly at her he became aware that though she had been momentarily distressed a great serenity was habitual to her. The eyes which now met his had regained their calm. It seemed as if her life had been steeped in tranquil suns.h.i.+ne, as if the free air of heaven had penetrated her whole delicate being, and had left its clear fragrance with her.

Oh! if only they had been married fifteen years ago! What happiness they might have given each other. How perfect to have owed it all to each other. How fond he would still be of her. How tender their mutual regard would still be. Then his present feeling for her would not be amiss.

They ought to be sitting peacefully together at this moment, not in this intolerably embarra.s.sing personal relation towards each other, but at ease with each other, talking over their boy at Eton, and the new pony for their little daughters. He did not want to _begin_ being married to her now.

She knew what he felt.

”Magdalen,” he said, ”I am distressed that I have taken you by surprise.

I had hoped that you were prepared to see me. But my coming is not, I trust, painful to you.”

A pulse fluttered in her cheek.

”I am glad to see you,” she said. ”If I did not seem so the first moment it was only because I was taken aback.”

”A great change has come over my fortunes,” he continued, anxious to give her time, and yet aware that no conversation except on the object of his visit was really possible. ”I am at last in a position to marry.”

”When I heard the news I thought that you would probably marry soon.”

”Our engagement was broken off solely for lack of means,” he continued.

Her eyes dropped. ”Now that that obstacle is removed I have come to ask you, to beg you most earnestly to renew it.”

”It is very good of you,” she said almost inaudibly. ”I appreciate your--kindness.”

He saw that she was going to refuse him. But he was prepared for that contingency. It was a natural feminine method of readjusting the balance between them. He would certainly give her the opportunity. He owed it to her. Besides, the refusal would not be final. He knew from her relations that she still loved him.

”If your feeling towards me is unchanged will you marry me?”

The door opened, and the footman announced ”Mr. Thomson.”

The new curate came slowly into the room, his short-sighted eyes peering about him, a little f.a.ggot of papers girdled by an elastic band, clasped in his careful hand against his breast.

Magdalen started violently, and Lord Lossiemouth experienced a furious exasperation.

Magdalen mechanically introduced the two men to each other, and they all three sat down, with the same sudden automatic precision as when Bessie had been present.

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