Part 2 (1/2)
”Stop that!”
”What?” I asked.
”Looking at me like that. I know what you're thinking...”
”I can't help that.”
”Yes, well, you're going to make me forget why I came here.”
I didn't believe that for a second, but I'm a good guy. I can go along with a gag. ”All right. Tell me about it.”
”Huh?”
”What brought you here if not my irresistable charm?”
”I need your help. Professionally.”
Why me?
I didn't believe it. Librarians don't get into fixes where they need guys like me to get them unfixed. Not cute little bits like Linda Lee Luther.
I'd begun moving toward my door. Preoccupied, Linda Lee rose and followed. I had her inside. I had the front door closed and bolted. I tried sneaking her past the open door of the small front room. The G.o.dd.a.m.n Parrot mumbled obscenities in his sleep. Lovely Linda Lee did not take exception. I began to recall why I was so fond of this girl. I asked her, ”What's got you so distracted?”
This was her big chance to come back with something clever and suggestive, an opportunity she wouldn't have wasted usually. But she just moaned, ”I'm going to get fired. I just know it.”
”That doesn't seem likely.” Really.
”You don't understand. I lost a book, Garrett. A rare book. One that can't be replaced. It may have been stolen.”
I eased into my office. Linda Lee followed me. Where was this attraction when I wanted to use it most?
”I have to get it back before they find out,” Linda Lee continued. ”There's no excuse for me having let this happen.”
I told her, ”Calm down. Take a deep breath. Hold it. Then tell me all about it, from the beginning. I'm already tied up in a job that's going to keep me busy for a while, but there's still a chance I can suggest something.”
I took her by the shoulders, maneuvered her over to the client's seat. She settled.
”Tell me from the beginning,” I reminded.
Aargh! The best laid plans, and so forth. Instead of spinning her sad tale of woe, she started sputtering and gesturing, original mission completely forgotten.
Uh-oh.
The Espinosa. Right there on my desk.
I hadn't quite observed all the formalities when I'd borrowed it. The library powers that be don't trust ordinary folks with books, anyway. Books might give us ideas.
I gobbled something placatory that got lost in the uproar, totally failed to steer her back to that matter of the loss that had brought her to me. ”How could you do this to me, Garrett? I'm already in trouble...If they miss this book too, I'm dead. How could you?”
Well, the how had been easy. It wasn't a very big book and the old veteran guarding the door had been napping. He'd had only one leg, anyway.
Words continued to vomit from my lovely Linda Lee. An awesome performance. She got a grip on the Espinosa like it was her firstborn about to be repoed by a dwarf with a polysyllabic name.
How do you argue with panic? I didn't.
Linda Lee suddenly made a run for it. I didn't get around the desk fast enough. She squawked every step to the front door.
Wa-hoo! said the G.o.dd.a.m.n Parrot. What a great excuse for raising h.e.l.l. He went to work.
A moment later, I was watching Linda Lee scamper up Macunado, her anger so palpable eight-foot ogres scooted out of her way.
Her visit lasted so briefly I caught a last glimpse of Maggie Jenn's litter before it, too, got lost in traffic. Mugwump sent me a scowl to remember him by.
What a day. What next?
One thing seemed certain. There were no more lovelies headed my way. Sigh.
Time to take a minute to see what Eleanor thought about Maggie Jenn.
5.
I settled behind my desk, stared at Eleanor. ”What did you think of Maggie, darling? Should I be your basic opportunist? Go for it even if she is older than me?”
Eleanor doesn't say much but I manage by putting words in her mouth. ”Yeah, I know. I went for you. A ghost.” Picture that. I've been infatuated a few thousand times but hopelessly in love only twice, most recently with a woman who died when I was four. ”So what's the big deal she's a few years older, eh?”
Weird things happen to me. Vampires. Dead G.o.ds trying to resurrect themselves. Killer zombies. Serial murderers who keep right on killing after you find them and send them off to the happy hunting ground. So why consider a love affair with a ghost outrageous?
”Yeah. I know. It would be cynical of me. What? Sure, she plans to use me, too. I know. But what a way to be used.”
From the hall, I heard, ”Yo, Garrett. I'm getting gray hairs hanging around up here.”
Winger. d.a.m.n! I can't remember everything, can I? I rose slowly, still distracted. Maggie Jenn had cast a spell on me, no doubt about it. I'd almost forgotten my disappointment over Linda Lee.
I found Winger sitting on the stairs. ”What are you doing, Garrett? The old broad left fifteen minutes ago.” She didn't mention Linda Lee's hollering.
”I've been thinking.”
”That's dangerous for a guy in your condition.”
”Huh?” I didn't have a comeback. For only about the ten thousandth time in my life. The perfect response would sp.a.w.n sometime as I lay tossing and turning an hour before dawn.