Part 13 (2/2)

”Just for a second there I thought about Rick and wondered where he is and what he's doing. I would like to see him some time and explain what happened. He didn't deserve the treatment I gave him.”

”Listen honey, you have a fine man and a good life. Don't go dragging up those bad times. Do you hear me?” Alice raised her voice and glared across the table. ”You get those thoughts out of your head before Jerry comes back downstairs.”

”I know, I know, but it just wasn't right. It was my first true love and you never forget that no matter how it turns out. It took a long time to get over him. I just wonder if he has married and found happiness after the way I lied to him and left with no explanation. If you could have seen the look in his eyes that last night . . . I'll never forget the hurt expression on his face. If I hadn't come in at that very second, I would have run away with him. I was that close to giving in.”

The sound of Jerry descending the stairs caused Alice to put a finger to her lips. ”Shhhh,” she said and grabbed Ann's hand tightly. ”I don't want to hear any more of that kind of talk. I mean it.”

”Elizabeth's dry and sound asleep,” Jerry announced as he entered the kitchen.

”What's for lunch?” Ann asked and jerked her hand from Alice's grip. ”After that hospital food, I'm starved for some home cooking.”

”How does Pizza sound?” Jerry laughed.

Chapter 29.

”Everyone had sacrificed throughout the war years, but peace brought our boys home to a changed world we could have only imagined before Pearl Harbor.”

December 1965 The Blackmon house was bustling before daylight. Jerry was up first. He had to be at work at the rail yard by seven o'clock.

”I'll change Libby's diaper while you go wake Ricky up,” Jerry whispered to Ann, who was slowly climbing out of bed, half-awake.

They'd decided to shorten her name to just Libby after Ricky complained Elizabeth was too long and hard to say.

”Rise and s.h.i.+ne, little man,” Ann called from the door of his room-the first of several attempts to get him up for school.

Jerry fixed breakfast for everyone, including Libby's bottle, and left it on the stove in a pan of warm water. Hot oatmeal was left in a covered pan for everyone else. Ann's maternity leave was up, and she was having difficulty leaving Libby every morning.

Alice doted on her grandchildren and was indispensable now that Libby had arrived. She also met Ricky at the corner school bus stop every day. Red was there in body only. He was completely senile and spent most of his day sitting and rocking and staring at the TV whether it was on or not.

While everyone was happily gathered under one roof at the Blackmon house, it wasn't perfect. Sylvia Blackmon, Jerry's mother, had grudgingly moved into the studio apartment over their three car garage.

The move had been a hard sell for Jerry and took weeks to accomplish. Sylvia insisted she wanted to live alone and could take care of herself. She never missed an opportunity to put guilt on him for leaving her and marrying Ann.

Moving his mother wasn't a matter of choice. Jerry had to move her so they could watch her more closely for her own safety. Besides being paranoid, she was becoming forgetful. Sylvia nearly set her house on fire by leaving the gas burner on under a pan of soup she was warming for lunch one day.

The next day Jerry came to her house after work. They sat at the kitchen where they usually had family discussions. It wasn't pleasant, but Jerry finally gave his mother an ultimatum: it was either the studio apartment or a nursing home.

”Christmas is only three weeks away, Mom. Why don't you come on over and share the season and the blessings of your grandchildren with the rest of the family?” Jerry pleaded.

”You tricked me,” Sylvia complained. ”You planned to leave me all along and married that girl as your excuse. And now you're feeling guilty. Well, you should.” Sylvia puffed up and crossed her arms.

”Her name is Ann,” Jerry said, trying to control his anger. ”You can believe what you want, but you have to move out of this house before you burn it down with you in it. Red doesn't say much, but you'll like Alice. She's looking forward to you moving in. You can get to know Ricky and Libby. They're great kids. It's the best thing, Mom.”

”They never wanted me around before. What's changed?”

”They've always wanted to include you in the family, but you never gave them a chance. You didn't go to our wedding, or Libby's christening. You're the one who refused to join the family. Look, I already have a buyer for the house. One of the guys at the warehouse has two kids and just had a new baby and needs more s.p.a.ce. I promised he could have it before Christmas, sort of like a present for his wife and family.”

”How considerate, you think more of your friends at work than me. I guess I don't have any choice now, do I?”

A moving van arrived at his mother's house two days later. Sylvia never spoke to anyone during the moving process. Jerry and Ann helped unpack boxes, trying to sort out what could be thrown out or given to Goodwill. A box of old letters and high school memorabilia broke open and spilled out on the floor.

Ann sat on the floor with her legs crossed, looking through Jerry's yearbook when she came across an inscription next to his picture. Written in beautiful flowing script, the writer vowed to love Jerry forever and wanted to get married and have a boy baseball captain and a girl cheerleader captain just like them. It was signed, ”With all my love, Marilyn.”

”You never told me you were captain of the baseball team and dated the captain of the cheerleader squad.”

”You never asked,” Jerry said as he opened another box. ”That was a long time ago. Come on, let's keep working or we'll never get through all this stuff.”

Sylvia spoke up from across the room, ”I'll bet he didn't tell you he got her pregnant, did he?”

Jerry stood up and glared at his mother. ”Apologize to Ann for that remark. It's not true and you know it.”

”I'll do no such thing. The girl needs to know the truth.”

”What is she talking about, Jerry?”

”It was nothing, just rumors. Her father lost his job and the family had to move away before she graduated. I never heard from her again.”

Ann pouted and looked to Sylvia. ”Why would you say such a thing, Mrs. Blackmon? If Jerry said it didn't happen, then it didn't happen.”

”I knew you would take his side. That's all right, I know the truth. But you, you'll believe anything he tells you. I lost my son when he married you. But don't worry about me. I'll be fine out here by myself. I don't need any of you.” Sylvia left the room in a huff.

”I don't think she's well,” Ann said in a concerned voice.

”Now you see why I had to get her away from the home and have her closer where I can keep an eye on her. She's bitter because my dad left her and she had to raise me by herself. I've taken care of her ever since I was a teenager. When I was grown, as long as I paid the bills and came home every night to have supper with her, she was okay. But when we started dating, she got it in her head I was going to leave her just like Dad did. She has dwelled on it so long. She's just bitter at the world. I'm sorry we didn't have this discussion earlier. You had enough to worry about. I couldn't risk losing you over it.”

Ann hesitated for a moment, gathered up her courage, and cautiously asked Jerry, ”Was your girlfriend pregnant?”

”No. At least I don't think so . . . Yes, we had had s.e.x, but I was always careful. We dated for over a year. She wore my cla.s.s ring and all that high school stuff.”

Ann stood up and wrapped her arms around Jerry. ”Did you love her?”

”We thought we were in love. We were just a couple of kids. What did we know about love?”

She squeezed him tight until she trembled from the thoughts creeping into her head. The feeling of that night when she was standing outside her door with Rick washed over her body. Jerry may have a child he'd never know, just like Rick.

Fear gripped her as she wrestled with whether to tell Jerry about Rick being little Ricky's biological father. She only broke up with him because her father and Sam thought he was Tank's baby. Being here with her family, with a good job and nice house was all a lie. She broke Rick's heart to live a lie. What would telling him accomplish? It could destroy their marriage. She wondered if Jerry had ever wanted to find Marilyn to learn the truth.

Still shaking, Ann pulled away from Jerry. ”I need to go check on Libby,” she said, and then headed for the stairs.

”Don't pay any attention to my mother,” he called after her, ”she's just a bitter old woman.”

But Ann had already disappeared down the stairs.

Livid at his mother, Jerry threw the door to her bedroom open so hard the door k.n.o.b left a dent in the wall.

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