Part 2 (1/2)

”Silly old idiot!” Bickley would say, shaking his fist after hiet him to see the truth would be to saw his head open and pour it in”

Then ould both laugh

Such were h I ad close relationshi+ps with the north and south poles Certainly Bastin was as far from Bickley as those points of the earth are apart, while I as it were, sat equally distant between the two However, ere all very happy together, since in certain characters, there are few things that bind men more closely than profound differences of opinion

Now I must turn to my more personal affairs After all, it is i of the sort about hiree answers to that description, with the husks of wealth, luxury and indolence, suppleu profoundly convinced of this truth, I searched round for so to do and, like Noah's dove on the waste of waters, found nothing Then I asked Bickley and Bastin for their opinions as to my best future course Bickley proved a barren draw He rubbed his nose and feebly suggested that I o in for ”research work,” which, of course, only represented his own a without any scientific qualifications whatever He adht endow others who had the qualifications

”In short, beco scientists,” I replied, and broke off the conversation

Bastin's idea was, first, that I should teach in a Sunday School; secondly, that if this career did not satisfy all ht be ordained and become a missionary

On my rejection of this brilliant advice, he re he could think of was that I should get e the nation and ultis no one could be quite sure At any rate, he was certain that at present I was in practice neglecting ht be, and in fact one of those cumberers of the earth who, he observed in the newspaper he took in and read when he had time, were ”very happily named--the idle rich”

”Which re-club finances are in a perfectly scandalous condition; in fact, it is 25 in debt, an amount that as the squire of the parish I consider it incuation”

”Look here,all the rest, ”will you answer e such a success that you consider it your duty to recoot the large family of which you speak?”

”Of course not,” he replied with his usual frankness ”Indeed, it is in ht and for the good of all concerned As regards the family I am sure I do not know, but Sarah never liked babies, which perhaps has so, ”You see, Arbuthnot, we have to take things as we find them in this world and hope for a better”

”Which is just what I a old donkey!” I exclaieneral, but I think principally over Sarah

By the way, I think that the villagers recognised this good lady's vinegary nature At least, they used to call her ”Sour Sal”

Chapter III Natalie

Nohat Bastin had said aboutrerain of honest truth hich they were often permeated Probably in my position it was more or less my duty to marry But here cas that way I was as much a man as others, more so than many are, perhaps, and I liked women, but at the same time they repelled me

My old fastidiousness ca about them While they attracted one part of my nature they revolted another part, and on the whole I preferred to do without their intiher part ofof ets on better in life alone, rather than with another to drag at his side, or by whoe, such as most men and some women have dreamed of in their youth, had always been one of my ideals; indeed it was on and around this vision that I wrote that first book of mine which was so successful Since I knew this to be unattainable in our i Bastin's strictures, again I disination

As an alternative I reflected upon a parliain, and even toyed with one or two opportunities that offered themselves, as these do to men of wealth and advanced views

They never ca, for in the end I decided that Party politics were so hateful and so dishonest, that I could not bring myself to put my neck beneath their yoke I was sure that if I tried to do so, I should fail more completely than I had done at the Bar and in Literature Here, too, I aht

The upshot of it all was that I sought refuge in that last expedient of weary Englishlobe-trotter, but leisurely and with an inquiring , like the ancient writer who under the sun; that with certain variations it is the saain

No, I will make an exception, the East did interest me enormously There it was, at Benares, that I careat deal They released so into break through the crust of our conventions and inherited ideas I kno that what I was seeking was nothing less than the Infinite; that I had ”is in me” I listened to all their solemn talk of epochs and years measureless to ht have his part in every one of the out of darkness into darkness, still he ht of other suns ht still spread thelorious, millions upon millions of years hence in a time unborn

If only I could know the truth Was Life (according to Bickley) ness before and behind; or (according to Bastin) a conventional golden-harped and haloed immortality, a word of which he did not in the least understand thequite different fro vast and splendid beyond the reach of vision, so in the Eternal Absolute and at last partaking of His attributes and nature and froht?

And hoas the truth to be learned? I askedascetic preparation, of years upon years of learning, from whom I could not quite discover I was sure it could not be from them, because clearly they did not know; they only passed on what they had heard elsewhere, when or how they either could not or would not explain So at length I gave it up, having satisfied ination called into life by the sweet influences of the Eastern stars

I gave it up and went away, thinking that I should forget But I did not forget I was quick with a new hope, or at any rate with a new aspiration, and that secret child of holy desire grew and greithin th it flashed upon me that this soul of mine was itself the hidden Master from which I must learn ive his nauished froh, each of the of his own soul