Part 5 (2/2)

Because of everything I can never take back.

24 f.u.c.king Days to Go T his morning, we followed Rawe down to the waterfront-Nez in front, me in the middle, Troyer in the back. Nez kept turning around and whispering to me about Arm Sleeve Tattoo Guy, making X-rated facial expressions and tongue movements like she was having some kind of p.o.r.no stroke.

I didn't want to hear about it and tried to ignore her, but that just made her keep going.

”Then he put both hands on my b.u.t.t,” Nez said, holding her hands up and squeezing.

Rawe twisted around to bust her, but it was like Nez could sense it and she turned away from me, staring straight ahead and marching like she was a model prisoner, before Rawe could say anything. I looked down at my boots, clomping on the dirt path. Even with our short escape the other night, that was still how I felt. Like a prisoner.

Maybe I would have felt that way even if I wasn't here.

The four of us finally hit the rocky beach. Murky green lake water gurgled with seaweed and foam like a cappuccino. The boys were already there, standing in front of three canoes. Weathered Adirondack chairs were piled up with a bike lock. The door of a boat house, no bigger than our cabin, banged open and closed in the wind.

”It smells like I'm in a goldfish cemetery,” I said, covering my face.

”You can handle the pit toilets, you can handle this,” Rawe said, spinning her head around, Exorcist-style, to look at me.

I didn't want to get into the fact that any toilet was really a goldfish cemetery.

”Sweet,” Nez whispered. ”Maybe Andre and I can slip away for some afternoon delight.” She licked her lips.

”If it will finally shut your mouth, I hope so,” I murmured.

”How do you make out with your mouth closed?” Nez asked.

”Once I staple yours shut you can figure it out,” I said, not wanting to let Nez get the last word. It was about all I had left.

”Ladies, line up,” Rawe commanded.

We were in a line already, so we all looked at one another. Maybe Rawe was showing off for Square Head-Nerone or whatever. The boys were already in a line, too. Ben turned and waved to Troyer. He mouthed, Hi Laura, before he glued his eyes back on Nerone.

Nez looked at me, her mouth hanging open practically down to her knees.

”We had our own fun while Andre was squeezing your b.u.t.t,” I said, making the same hand motions Nez had. I bet Ben was probably only being nice to Troyer to p.i.s.s me off, but if I could p.i.s.s off Nez in the process, all the better.

”We're splitting up three-two-two, co-ed,” Nerone yelled. Then he went through some canoe safety tips. Like Rawe or Nerone really gave a c.r.a.p about our safety.

I looked at the canoes, laying diagonally like huge green bananas on the lakesh.o.r.e.

”I hope I get three-boy sandwich,” Nez whispered, practically drooling.

”Seriously, Nez, shut the f.u.c.k up,” I said.

She turned and stuck her tongue out at me, as opposite a facial expression as any of the ones she made on the walk over here. I was learning that Nez viewed sticking her tongue out like I might view giving someone the finger. And like me, she did it a lot.

”All right, Nez, Wick, Troyer, pick a boat,” Rawe said. She stood next to Nerone, breathing heavily through her nose. She was shorter than he was, skinnier, paler, and unlike him, her head didn't look like a Rubik's Cube.

We each walked over to a canoe. I looked inside. Three sandy, wet life jackets lay in the bow. How long had those been in there?

Nerone sent the boys over next. He put Ben with Nez, Troyer with Arm Sleeve Tattoo Guy, and me with Brace Face and Curly.

”Looks like I'm with your boyfriend,” Nez said to me, shaking her a.s.s as she bent over and picked up a life jacket.

”Looks like Troyer's with yours,” I sneered. I could have told her that I got the boy sandwich, but thinking of those two in a boy sandwich would put anyone on a hunger strike. I also could have told her Ben wasn't my boyfriend, and I wondered why that hadn't been the first thing to come out of my mouth.

f.u.c.king Ben.

Nez snapped her fingers to get Troyer's attention and mouthed, Touch him and die, making a slicing-open-her-neck motion. I wondered why everyone thought they had to mouth words to Troyer. Even if she didn't talk, it was obvious she could hear, and it was even more obvious that she'd looked scared even before Nez's warning. Stravalaci's hair was as dark as the black tribal tattoos that snaked up his arms. Troyer had heard from Ben why he was here and I was pretty sure she didn't want to be alone with him on the water or anywhere else. I mean, I could probably handle him, but Troyer was afraid of words.

I waited while Eagan and Leisner walked over to our canoe. At least Leisner had some muscle on him, flabby as it was, but Eagan had arms like pipe cleaners. Unless his braces gave him superpowers, it looked like it was going to be Leisner and me carrying most of the weight.

I put on a life jacket. I could smell mildew. It had that disgusting, cold, wet feeling that only lake water can give.

”Do we get helmets?” Eagan yelled over to Nerone. ”There are two million traumatic brain accidents each year.” He slurped on the saliva that got stuck on the metal attached to his teeth.

This was going to be one long f.u.c.king boat ride.

Nerone sighed. ”You're not fighting the rapids, Eagan. It's a simple trip to the dock at the middle of the lake and back.”

”I'd still prefer a helmet,” Eagan said.

”What you prefer doesn't matter,” Nerone yelled, his square head turning red, like someone had solved that side of the Rubik's Cube. ”Get in the G.o.dd.a.m.n boat.”

”You girls got anything you want to whine about?” Rawe yelled. I guess she wanted to make sure Nerone knew that she could be an a.s.shole, too.

None of us spoke. I looked out at the dock we were supposed to paddle out to-it didn't look simple. The lake was huge. To make it to the middle would probably take an hour at least.

With Eagan in my boat, probably longer.

”Hi Ca.s.sie,” Leisner said, sidling up next to me, his curly blond afro s.h.i.+ning around his head like a pubic hair halo.

”How the h.e.l.l do you know my name?” I hissed.

Leisner looked at me and smirked. He didn't need to answer. Ben had told him my name. What the h.e.l.l else had Ben told him? I watched Nez and Ben take off in their canoe, Ben in back, Nez in front, each paddling on opposite sides, their paddles splas.h.i.+ng water.

”Eagan should probably sit in front in case we need his brace-face for radar,” I said, throwing each of them a wet life jacket.

Leisner caught his, but Eagan winced as his. .h.i.t his chest and fell on the sand.

”Nice catch,” I said.

”Nice throw,” Leisner said. I didn't think it was possible, but he was worse than Ben. It could have been because he didn't look anything like Ben.

I glanced over at Troyer, who was sitting at the back of her canoe with Stravalaci in the front. Her mouth was closed so tight it looked like it was glued.

”You get in the middle, Ca.s.sie,” Leisner said. ”Let the guns run the stern.” He made a muscle.

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