Part 22 (1/2)
He leaned against the smooth wall of yew, looking down at her with an impressive steadiness of gaze. She could imagine him facing the city men from whom he had extorted the full value of his mine in the same fas.h.i.+on, and, in a later instance, so surveying the eddies beneath the osiers, when he had gone to Mabel's rescue. It was borne in upon her that they would better understand each other.
”No,” she answered. ”If I must be candid, I am not astonished.” Then the color crept into her cheeks as she met his gaze. ”I suppose it is an honor; and it is undoubtedly a--temptation.”
”A temptation?”
”Yes,” said Evelyn, mustering her courage to face a crisis she had dreaded. ”It is only due you that you should hear the truth--though I think you suspect it. Besides--I have some liking for you.”
”That is what I wanted you to own!” Vane broke in.
She checked him with a gesture. Her manner was cold, and yet there was something in it that stirred him more than her beauty.
”After all,” she explained, ”it does not go very far, and you must try to understand. I want to be quite honest, and what I have to say is--difficult. In the first place, things are far from pleasant for me here; I was expected to make a good marriage, and I had my chance in London. I refused to profit by it, and now I'm a failure. I wonder whether you can realize what a temptation it is to get away?”
Vane frowned.
”Yes,” he responded. ”It makes me savage to think of it! I can, at least, take you out of all this. If you hadn't had a very fine courage, you wouldn't have told me.”
Evelyn smiled, a curious wry smile.
”It has only prompted me to behave, as most people would consider, shamelessly; but there are times when one must get above that point of view. Besides, there's a reason for my candor--had you been a man of different stamp, it's possible that I might have been driven into taking the risk. We should both have suffered for a time, but we might have reached an understanding--not to intrude on each other--through open variance. As it is, I could not do you that injustice, and I should shrink from marrying you with only a little cold liking.”
The man held himself firmly in hand. Her calmness had infected him, and he felt that this was not an occasion for romantic protestations, even had he felt capable of making them, which was not the case. As a matter of fact, such things were singularly foreign to his nature.
”Even that would go a long way with me, if I could get nothing better,”
he declared. ”Besides, you might change. I could surround you with some comfort; I think I could promise not to force my company upon you; I believe I could be kind.”
”Yes,” a.s.sented Evelyn. ”I shouldn't be afraid of harshness from you; but it seems impossible that I should change. You must see that you started handicapped from the beginning. Had I been free to choose, it might have been different, but I have lived for some time in shame and fear, hating the thought that some one would be forced on me.”
He said nothing and she went on.
”Must I tell you? You are the man!”
His face grew hard and for a moment he set his lips tight. It would have been a relief to express his feelings concerning his host just then.
”If you don't hate me for it now, I'm willing to take the risk,” he said at length. ”It will be my fault if you hate me in the future; I'll try not to deserve it.”
He fancied that she was yielding, but she roused herself with an effort.
”No. Love on one side may go a long way, if it is strong enough--but it must be strong to overcome the many clashes of thought and will.
Yours”--she looked at him steadily--”would not stand the strain.”
Vane started.
”You are the only woman I ever wished to marry,” he declared vehemently.
He paused and spread out his hands.
”What can I say to convince you?”