Part 12 (1/2)

Shop 'til You Drop.

The Roaring Twenties was a period of fun and excess rivaled only by the shenanigans of an AIG executive retreat. The federal government dictated an easy-money policy, whoring out cash to nearly anyone at obnoxiously low interest rates. This expansion of debt for the average American and the popularity of installment loans led Americans on a Sarah Palin-at-Neiman-Marcus-like spending spree. Also fueling the engine of economic disaster was the stock market's rapid progression, causing irrational exuberance. In fact, it was even popular to take the equity out of your home to invest in the can't-miss investment opportunities in the stock market. BUT LIKE NEW c.o.kE, PARACHUTE PANTS, AND ROCKY 5, WHAT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME HAD UNEXPECTED CONSEQUENCES.

The Party's Over.

By the end of these high times, the country had produced greater than its capacity to consume, and it was like Kobayas.h.i.+ versus Oscar Mayer. The consumers who had driven the economy sky high in the 1920s were out of credit, and restrictive overseas tariffs left the U.S. with nowhere to sell its goods. With stadiums full of goods that n.o.body could afford to buy, everything went on sale. Noted economist and madam to the stars Heidi Fleiss pointed out that prost.i.tution does not have the carrying costs a.s.sociated with tangible goods and therefore is a business model that more entrepreneurial woman should entertain.

With corporate profits falling like John Kerry's popularity following the airing of the Swift boat ads, companies were left with no choice but to lower their costs by politely informing many of their workers that their attendance was no longer required.

The unemployment rate went from the 3 percent who found working too inconvenient before the Depression to over 25 percent in 1933. Further complicating matters was that as unemployment climbed like a Tibetan sherpa, consumers could no longer meet their installment-payment obligations. Banks were forced to foreclose on loans. With prices falling, the repossessed goods were worth much less than the amount borrowed against them. Those who did have money realized that banks were in a precarious position with the high number of defaulting loans, so they started withdrawing their deposits. With bad loans and no deposits, banks began to fail. The federal government and the recently created Federal Reserve allowed banks to go under.

In 1930, 1,400 banks went out of business. This number continued to increase until 1933, when an amazing 4,000 more banks failed. Burned by bank closings and the loss of jobs, Americans became penny pinchers and began to save what little they could. This new commitment to savings only compounded the dire situation further. Realizing that prices were continuing to fall, Americans would wait as long as possible before making new purchases. The party that was enjoyed during the Roaring Twenties was officially over, and the hangover had begun.

Roosevelt Is Zoloft for the Great Depression.

In 1932, Franklin D. Roosevelt ran on a promise of a New Deal for the American people. WITH THE OLD DEAL CONSISTING OF HIGH UNEMPLOYMENT, A STRUGGLING ECONOMY, AND A SWIFT KICK IN THE b.a.l.l.s, FDR EASILY WON THE WHITE HOUSE. In 1932 and 1933, he used up the entire alphabet in creating government agencies to increase spending and right the economy. The agencies helped reinforce business through government spending. Roosevelt knew that enormous federal expenditures were needed to pull America out of the Depression. Fortunately for Roosevelt, there was an Austrian-born politician named Adolf Hitler who became chancellor of Germany and was intent on taking over the world.

Realizing that nothing cures a struggling economy better than a global war, Roosevelt authorized excessive government spending on the war. Along with the spending, production doubled, and unemployment fell from 1933's 25 percent to 1.2 percent in 1944. The federal government had finally brought itself out of the Depression and emerged from the Second World War as an economic powerhouse.

1938 THE FIRST MINIMUM WAGE.

Equal pay for employees with or without external genitalia.

Feed These Families for Just Pennies a Day.

Surprisingly, it was not underpaid immigrant landscapers that supporters of a mandated minimum wage were trying to protect, but rather scores of overly ambitious women who had developed an enormous appet.i.te for joining their male counterparts in the ever-expanding workplace. The time-honored tradition of cooking, cleaning, and satisfying your husband's every s.e.xual desire was on the way out. AS MORE AND MORE WOMEN MOVED AWAY FROM THEIR TRADITIONAL ROLE OF BABY INCUBATOR AND FULL-TIME HOMEMAKER, ATTENTION BEGAN TO FOCUS ON WHAT A FAIR AND JUST WAGE SHOULD BE.

The state of Ma.s.sachusetts enacted a law that provided a wage floor for employees with or without external genitalia. This floor was the first time that any state government dictated the value of an American worker.

What Are You Worth?

Over the next eleven years, fourteen more states, the District of Columbia and the, ”We want to be part of the union; we don't want to be part of the union,” conflicted island of Puerto Rico all jumped on the wage-mandating train. Most of the governments set up regulatory boards that ensured that the lowest allowable wage was equal to the local cost of living. For example, the wage calculation may turn out to be $0.55 an hour in Atlanta while it equals out to two tacos and a bean burrito in Puerto Rico.

How Low Can You Go?

This explosion of enthusiasm for government-backed higher wages resulted in the business community fighting back to protect their ability to pay women a discouraging low wage. They felt so strongly about the inequality of women's efforts that they began arguing their case to abandon minimum wage laws in front of the Supreme Court in 1923.

POINTING TO THE ”FACT” THAT A WHITE MALE CAN DO THE WORK OF TWO WOMEN AND A BLACK MAN, NEW JERSEY'S FINEST COURTROOM ATTORNEY AND MY COUSIN VINNY LEAD VINCENT GAMBINI CONVINCED THE SUPREME COURT THAT THE ENFORCEMENT OF WAGE FLOORS WAS DISCRIMINATORY TO HARD WORKING WHITE MALES. This argument proved to have some legs, as the Supreme Court struck down minimum-wage laws, and the ability to pay peasant-like wages to women quickly returned, exotic dancers being the exception.

FDR Does the Minimum.

A decade and a half later, sympathizer to the poor President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed the Fair Labor Standards Act, which was a federal law that required American workers to receive a minimum of twenty-five cents an hour for their time and effort while at work. Critics claim that the minimum wage hurts small business owners, while proponents claim it helps motivate workers. But if you are cleaning up s.h.i.+t in a McDonald's bathroom for minimum wage, the motivation bird has probably already flown the coop. Although the federal minimum wage has been adjusted over the last several decades, Florida farmers have continued to enjoy their agricultural exemption and continue to pay the illegals picking their citrus the original twenty-five cents an hour outlined in 1938.

19391945 WORLD WAR II.

Mike Ricci ugly.

German Uprising.

In 1919, at the end of World War I, a defeated and disgruntled Germany signed the punis.h.i.+ng treaty of Versailles. This treaty proved to be unpopular with the German government, as it limited their military, gave away large amounts of their land, and worst of all, set a curfew and limited drinking at their Oktoberfest celebrations.