Part 14 (1/2)

CHILD AND MOTHER

O mother-my-love, if you'll give me your hand, And go where I ask you to wander, I will lead you away to a beautiful land,-- The Dreamland that's waiting out yonder.

We'll walk in a sweet posie-garden out there, Where moonlight and starlight are streaming, And the flowers and the birds are filling the air With the fragrance and music of dreaming.

There'll be no little tired-out boy to undress, No questions or cares to perplex you, There'll be no little bruises or b.u.mps to caress, Nor patching of stockings to vex you; For I'll rock you away on a silver-dew stream And sing you asleep when you're weary, And no one shall know of our beautiful dream But you and your own little dearie.

And when I am tired I'll nestle my head In the bosom that's soothed me so often, And the wide-awake stars shall sing, in my stead, A song which our dreaming shall soften.

So, Mother-my-Love, let me take your dear hand, And away through the starlight we'll wander,-- Away through the mist to the beautiful land,-- The Dreamland that's waiting out yonder.

THE CONVERSAZZHYONY

What conversazzhyonies wuz I really did not know, For that, you must remember, wuz a powerful spell ago; The camp wuz new 'nd noisy, 'nd only modrit sized, So fas.h.i.+onable sossiety wuz hardly crystallized.

There hadn't been no grand events to interest the men, But a lynchin', or a inquest, or a jackpot now an' then.

The wimmin-folks wuz mighty scarce, for wimmin, ez a rool, Don't go to Colorado much, excep' for teachin' school, An' bein' scarce an' chipper and pretty (like as not), The bachelors perpose, 'nd air accepted on the spot.

Now Sorry Tom wuz owner uv the Gosh-all-Hemlock mine, The wich allowed his better haff to dress all-fired fine; For Sorry Tom wuz mighty proud uv her, an' she uv him, Though _she_ wuz short an' tacky, an' _he_ wuz tall an' slim, An' _she_ wuz edjicated, an' Sorry Tom wuz _not_, Yet, for _her_ sake, he'd whack up every cussid cent he'd got!

Waal, jest by way uv celebratin' matrimonial joys, She thought she'd give a conversazzhyony to the boys,-- A peert an' likely lady, 'nd ez full uv 'cute idees 'Nd uv etiquettish notions ez a fyste is full uv fleas.

Three-fingered Hoover kind uv kicked, an' said they might be durned So far ez any conversazzhyony was concerned; _He'd_ come to Red Hoss Mountain to tunnel for the ore, An' _not_ to go to parties,--quite another kind uv bore!

But, bein' he wuz candidate for marshal uv the camp, I rayther had the upper holts in arguin' with the scamp; Sez I, ”Three-fingered Hoover, can't ye see it is yer game To go for all the votes ye kin an' collar uv the same?”

The wich perceivin', Hoover sez, ”Waal, ef I _must_, I _must_; So I'll frequent that conversazzhyony, ef I bust!”

Three-fingered Hoover wuz a trump! Ez fine a man wuz he Ez ever caused an inquest or blossomed on a tree!-- A big, broad man, whose face bespoke a honest heart within,-- With a bunch uv yaller whiskers appertainin' to his chin, 'Nd a fierce mustache turnt up so fur that both his ears wuz hid, Like the picture that you always see in the ”Life uv Cap'n Kidd.”

His hair wuz long an' wavy an' fine as Southdown fleece,-- Oh, it shone an' smelt like Eden when he slicked it down with grease!

I'll bet there wuzn't anywhere a man, all round, ez fine Ez wuz Three-fingered Hoover in the spring uv '69!

The conversazzhyony wuz a notable affair, The bong tong deckolett 'nd en regaly bein' there; The ranch where Sorry Tom hung out wuz fitted up immense,-- The Denver papers called it a ”palashal residence.”

There wuz mountain pines an' fern an' flowers a-hangin' on the walls, An' cheers an' hoss-hair sofies wuz a-settin' in the halls; An' there wuz heaps uv pictures uv folks that lived down East, Sech ez poets an' perfessers, an' last, but not the least, Wuz a chromo uv old Fremont,--we liked that best, you bet, For there's lots uv us old miners that is votin' for him yet!

When Sorry Tom received the gang perlitely at the door, He said that keerds would be allowed upon the second floor; And then he asked us would we like a drop uv ody vee.

Connivin' at his meanin', we responded promptly, ”Wee.”

A conversazzhyony is a thing where people speak The langwidge in the which they air partickulerly weak: ”I see,” sez Sorry Tom, ”you grasp what that 'ere lingo means.”

”You bet yer boots,” sez Hoover; ”I've lived at Noo Orleens, An', though I ain't no Frenchie, nor kin unto the same, I kin parly voo, an' git there, too, like Eli, toot lee mame!”

As speakin' French wuz not my forte,--not even oovry poo,-- I stuck to keerds ez played by them ez did not parly voo, An' bein' how that poker wuz my most perficient game, I poneyed up for 20 blues an' set into the same.

Three-fingered Hoover stayed behind an' parly-vood so well That all the kramy delly krame allowed he wuz _the_ belle.

The other candidate for marshal didn't have a show; For, while Three-fingered Hoover parlyed, ez they said, tray bow, Bill Goslin didn't know enough uv French to git along, 'Nd I reckon that he had what folks might call a movy tong.

From Denver they had freighted up a real pianny-fort Uv the warty-leg and pearl-around-the-keys-an'-kivver sort, An', later in the evenin', Perfesser Vere de Blaw Performed on that pianny, with considerble eclaw, Sech high-toned opry airs ez one is apt to hear, you know, When he rounds up down to Denver at a Emmy Abbitt show; An' Barber Jim (a talented but ornery galoot) Discoursed a obligatter, conny mory, on the floot, 'Till we, ez sot up-stairs indulgin' in a quiet game, Conveyed to Barber Jim our wish to compromise the same.

The maynoo that wuz spread that night wuz mighty hard to beat,-- Though somewhat awkward to pernounce, it was not so to eat: There wuz puddin's, pies, an' sandwidges, an' forty kinds uv sa.s.s, An' floatin' Irelands, custards, tarts, an' patty dee foy gra.s.s; An' millions uv cove oysters wuz a-settin' round in pans, 'Nd other native fruits an' things that grow out West in cans.

But I wuz all kufflummuxed when Hoover said he'd choose ”Oon peety morso, see voo play, de la cette Charlotte Rooze;”

I'd knowed Three-fingered Hoover for fifteen years or more, 'Nd I'd never heern him speak so light uv wimmin folks before!

Bill Goslin heern him say it, 'nd uv course _he_ spread the news Uv how Three-fingered Hoover had insulted Charlotte Rooze At the conversazzhyony down at Sorry Tom's that night, An' when they asked me, I allowed that Bill for once wuz right; Although it broke my heart to see my friend go up the fluke, We all opined his treatment uv the girl deserved rebuke.