Part 19 (1/2)

Atten. These are good testimonies of this truth, and doe (if matter of fact, with which Mr. Badman is charged, be true), prove indeed that he did not repent, but as he lived, so he dyed in his sin: For without Repentance a man is sure to dye in his sin; for they will lie down in the dust with him, {160a} rise at the Judgement with him, hang about his Neck like Cords and Chains when he standeth at the Barre of G.o.ds Tribunal, and goe with him too when he goes away from the Judgment-seat, with a Depart from me ye cursed into everlasting fire, prepared for the Devil and his Angels; and there shall fret and gnaw his Conscience, because they will be to him a never-dying worm. {160b}

Wise. You say well, and I will add a word or two more to what I have said: Repentance, as it is not produced without a sight and sence of sin, so every sight and sence of sin cannot produce it: I mean, every sight and sence of sin cannot {160c} produce that Repentance, that is Repentance unto salvation; repentance never to be repented of. For it is yet fresh before us, that Mr. Badman had a sight and sence of sin, in that fit of sickness that he had before, but it dyed without procuring any such G.o.dly fruit; as was manifest by his so soon returning with the Dog to his Vomit. Many people think also that Repentance stands in Confession of sin only, but they are very much mistaken: For Repentance, as was said before, is a being sorry for, and a turning from transgression to G.o.d by Jesus Christ. Now, if this be true, that every sight and sence of sin will not produce Repentance, then Repentance cannot be produced there where there is no sight and sence of sin. That every sight and sence of sin will not produce repentance, to wit, the G.o.dly repentance that we are speaking of, is manifest in Cain, Pharaoh, Saul and Judas, who all of them had sence, great sence of sin, but none of them repentance unto life.

Now I conclude, that Mr. Badman did die impenitent, and so a death most miserable.

Atten. But pray now, before we conclude our discourse of Mr. Badman, give me another proof of his dying in his sins.

Wise. Another proof is this. {160d} He did not desire a sight and sence of sins, that he might have repentance for them. Did I say he did not desire it, I will add, he greatly desired to remain in his security: and that I shall prove by that which follows. First, he could not endure that any man, now, should talk to him of his sinfull life, and yet that was the way to beget a sight and sence of sin, and so of repentance from it in his soul. But, I say, he could not endure such discourse. Those men that did offer to talk unto him of his ill-spent Life, they were as little welcome to him in the time of his last sickness, as was Elijah when he went to meet with Ahab, as he went down to take possession of Naboths Vineyard. Hast thou found me, said Ahab, O mine enemy? {161a} So would Mr. Badman say in his heart to and of those that thus did come to him, though indeed they came even of love, to convince him of his evil life, that he might have repented thereof, and have obtained mercy.

Atten. Did good men then goe to see him in his last sickness?

Wise. Yes: Those that were his first wifes acquaintance, they went to see him, and to talk with, and to him, if perhaps he might now, at last, bethink himself, and cry to G.o.d for mercy.

Atten. They did well to try now at last if they could save his soul from h.e.l.l: But pray how can you tell that he did not care for the company of such?

Wise. Because of the differing Carriage that he had for them, from what he had when his old carnal companions came to see him: When his old Campanions came to see him, he would stir up himself as much as he could both by words and looks, to signifie they were welcome to him; he would also talk with them freely, and look pleasantly upon them, though the talk of such could be none other but such as David said, carnal men would offer to him, when they came to visit him in his sickness: If he comes to see me, says he, he speaketh vanity, his heart gathereth iniquity to itself. {161b} But these kind of talks, I say, Mr. Badman better brooked, than he did the company of better men.

But I will more particularly give you a Character {161c} of his carriage to good men (and good talk) when they came to see him.

1. When they were come, he would seem to fail in his spirits at the sight of them.

2. He would not care to answer them to any of those questions that they would at times put to him, to feel what sence he had of sin, death, h.e.l.l, and Judgment: But would either say nothing, or answer them by way of evasion, or else by telling of them he was so weak and spent that he could not speak much.

3. He would never shew forwardness to speak to, or talk with them, but was glad when they held their tongues. He would ask them no question about his state and another world, or how he should escape that d.a.m.nation that he had deserved.

4. He had got a haunt at last to bid his wife and keeper, when these good people attempted to come to see him, to tell them that he was asleep or inclining to sleep, or so weak for want thereof, that he could not abyde any noyse. And so they would serve them time after time, till at last they were discouraged from coming to see him any more.

5. He was so hardned, now, in this time of his sickness, that he would talk, when his companions came unto him, to the disparagement of those good men (and of their good doctrine too) that of love did come to see him, and that did labour to convert him.

6. When these good men went away from him, he would never say, Pray when will you be pleased to come again, for I have a desire to more of your company, and to hear more of your good instruction? No not a word of that, but when they were going would scarce bid them drink, or say, Thank you for your good company, and good instruction.

7. His talk in his sickness with his companions, would be of the World, as Trades, Houses, Lands, great Men, great t.i.tles, great places, outward Prosperity, or outward Adversity, or some such carnal thing.

By all which I conclude, that he did not desire a sence and sight of his sin, that he might repent and be saved.

Atten. It must needs be so as you say, if these things be true that you have a.s.serted of him. And I do the rather believe them, because I think you dare not tell a lie of the dead.

Wise. I was one of them that went to him, and that beheld his carriage and manner of way, and this is a true relation of it that I have given you.

Atten. I am satisfied. But pray if you can, shew me now by the Word, what sentence of G.o.d doth pa.s.s upon such men?

Wise. Why, the man that is thus averse to repentance, that desires not to hear of his sins, that he might repent and be saved; is said to be a man that saith unto G.o.d, Depart from me, for I desire not the knowledge of thy wayes. {163a} He is a man that sayes in his heart and with his actions, I have loved strangers, (sins) and after them I will goe. He is a man that shuts his eyes, stops his ears, and that turneth his spirit against G.o.d. Yea he is the man that is at enmity with G.o.d, and that abhorres him with his soul. {163b}

Atten. What other signe can you give me that Mr. Badman died without repentance?

Wise. Why, he did never heartily cry to G.o.d for mercy all the time of his affliction. {163c} True, when sinking fits, st.i.tches, or pains took hold upon him, then he would say as other carnal men use to do, Lord help me, Lord strengthen me, Lord deliver me, and the like: But to cry to G.o.d for mercy, that he did not, but lay, as I hinted before, as if he never had sinned.

Atten. That is another bad sign indeed; for crying to G.o.d for mercy, is one of the first signs of repentance. When Paul lay repenting of his sin, upon his bed, the Holy Ghost said of him, Behold he prayes. {163d} But he that hath not the first signs of repentance, 'tis a sign he hath none of the other, and so indeed none at all. I do not say, but there may be crying, where there may be no sign of repentance. They cryed, says David, to the Lord, but he answered them not; {163e} but that he would have done, if their cry had been the fruit of repentance. But, I say, if men may cry, and yet have no repentance, be sure, they have none, that cry not at all. It is said in Job, They cry not when he bindeth them; {163f} that is, because they have no repentance; no repentance, no cryes; false repentance, false cryes; true repentance, true cryes.

Wise. I know that it is as possible for a man to forbear crying that hath repentance, as it is for a man to forbear groaning that feeleth deadly pain. He that looketh into the Book of Psalms, (where repentance is most lively set forth even in its true and proper effects,) shall there find, that crying, strong crying, hearty crying, great crying, and uncessant crying, hath been the fruits of repentance: (But none of this had this Mr. Badman, therefore he dyed in his sins.)

That Crying is an inseparable effect of repentance, is seen in these Scriptures. Have mercy upon me, O G.o.d, according to the mult.i.tude of thy tender mercies, blot out my transgressions. O Lord, rebuke me not in thine anger, neither chasten me in thy hot displeasure. Have mercy upon me, O Lord, for I am weak. O Lord, heal me for my bones are vexed. My soul is also vexed, but thou, O Lord, how long: Return, O Lord, deliver my soul: O save me for thy mercies sake: O Lord, rebuke me not in thy wrath, neither chasten me in thy hot displeasure; for thine arrows stick fast in me, and thy hand presseth me sore. There is no soundness in my flesh, because of thine anger, neither is there any rest in my bones, because of my sin. For mine iniquities are gone over mine head, as an heavy burthen, they are too heavy for me. My wounds stink and are corrupt; because of my foolishness. I am troubled, I am bowed down greatly, I goe mourning all the day long. My loyns are filled with a loathsom disease, and there is no soundness in my flesh. I am feeble, and sore broken, I have roared by reason of the disquietness of my heart.

{164a}