Part 9 (1/2)

It had occurred to him that controlling their conversation was a lot harder than controlling the s.e.x. That was easy because Mercy seemed quite happy to let him take the lead and he was hardly going to object when it so greatly appealed to the alpha male in him.

However, she had a quick, perceptive mind and didnt miss a trick. With very little effort on her part, she could have him spilling out things hed really rather not. So he had to take care. Greater care. Although that ought to present little problem since hed had half a lifetime of taking extremely great care.

”For someone who hasnt has s.e.x for five years,” he murmured, figuring shed now be expecting the conversation hed told her was a good idea and deciding it wouldnt hurt to emphasize exactly what they were doing here, ”youre very good at it.”

Mercy looked at him, startled, as well she might because perhaps that was a bit personal. And perhaps just a little bit insulting.

”Thanks,” she muttered, levering herself up, leaning back against the headboard of her bed and drawing her knees up. Something flickered in her eyes and her chin came up in a way that never failed to thrill no, amuse him. ”Before you came along and messed things up, Id had plenty of practice.”

The amus.e.m.e.nt faded. Oh. Right. Well. He had asked. ”Not all that busy with the vineyard, then.”

”I made time.”

But not now. Not for him. Which was fine. Just the way he wanted it. ”How many boyfriends have you had?”

”Three.”

”Any serious?”

”Only one.”

”What happened?” Not that he wanted to know particularly. No. He was merely following the conversational convention of expanding a subject. It was the polite thing to do.

”He had commitment issues,” said Mercy with a sigh. ”I thought I could change him but realized after a year that I couldnt.”

Idiot. The boyfriend. Not her. She was very much not an idiot. ”Youre keen on fixing people, arent you?”

She frowned at him. ”You make it sound like its a bad thing.”

It was, if she was ever thinking of applying it to him. ”Where does it come from?”

”My childhood, I suspect. When I was eight I was given a pony. Her name was Dulcinea and I adored her. One day we were out riding, just the two of us. We jumped a ditch. We fell. I was fine, but she broke her two front legs. There was nothing I could do. She was shot.” Mercy shrugged, although her eyes clouded over for a second. ”It affected me badly. I think Ive been making up for my failure to help her ever since.”

Something deep inside Seb ached. He ignored it. ”Lucky I dont need fixing, then, isnt it?”

She gave him a look that suggested she wasnt too impressed by his insensitivity. ”Indeed.” A pause. ”How many lovers have you had, Seb?”

”A handful more than you,” he said, although, since the accident none of them had been anything more than a warm body. And none of them, either before or after, had been anything like Mercy...

”Ever been in love?”

”No.” And never going to be. The idea of it, of being responsible for someone elses happiness, scared him witless.

”So hows it going between you and Zel?” she said after a beat of silence, and whether or not the change in subject was deliberate he was glad of it.

”Dont you know?”

”Some,” she said. ”Although when we get together we tend to avoid you as a topic of conversation.”

Why? ”Are you ashamed?”

She stared at him as if hed just sprouted a second head. ”What? No. Not at all. Just discreet. And you were the one who told me not to shout it from the rooftops, were you not?”

Of course he had been. How could he have forgotten? What was wrong with him today anyway?

”Its going fine,” he said, switching his attention to the least baffling woman in his life right now and thinking that 'fine was actually quite an understatement. Things were going better than he could have hoped for. He and Zel were talking really talking and he was learning just what a great, strong, brave, fascinating sister he had. Shed been through h.e.l.l not only because of him, shed said, although he wasnt entirely sure he believed that but now she was out the other side, and not just surviving, but thriving. Shed ditched the modelling she was famous for and was thinking about putting her innate talent for languages to use in the field of translation, which was why shed just gone to St. Petersburg for a couple of weeks to brush up on her Russian. She really was incredible and he tried not to think too much about how close hed come to losing her.

”I was thinking of inviting Ty and Zel over for dinner when she gets back from Russia,” he said, steering his train of thought away from that before it could take hold. ”Its probably time I met him. For Zels sake.”

Mercys eyes widened for a second, then she smiled. ”Thatd be nice.”

Hmm. 'Nice might be stretching it. He hadnt had anyone other than Mercy over for dinner in years, although actually since they rarely got out of bed to eat possibly even that didnt count, and he didnt know how to do the 'friend thing. The entire evening would probably be a disaster.

But maybe he could invite Mercy too, it occurred to him suddenly. Shed ease the way and smooth over all the awkward silences that were bound to arise with her beguiling charm and talent for conversation. And then he could show his appreciation in the best way he knew.

Or not, he thought, pulling up short at the direction his thoughts were going in. No. Definitely not. What on earth was he thinking? She hadnt invited him to the Thanksgiving dinner he knew was happening this week at that pub she and her friends went to, had she? Nor to the wine awards presentation dinner shed mentioned was taking place in ten days or so. And that was fine. Invitations out werent part of their arrangement. Thanksgiving fell on a Thursday anyway.

What Mercy got up to when she wasnt with him was none of his business in any case. The times hed picked up his cell, not to arrange a time to meet but just to see how she was doing, had been very few and far between and entirely down to fatigue, because every single one of those calls he hadnt made had occurred around midnight, minutes after hed arrived back in his dark, empty apartment.

”Hows your Russian?” said Mercy, dragging him out of his violently swinging, vaguely disturbing thoughts.

”Poor,” he said, looking at her and thinking that while what she got up to when she wasnt with him wasnt any of his business, what she got up to when she was with him very much was, speaking of which... ”My Spanish, though, is excellent. Want me to try some of it out on you?”

”Be my guest.”

He leaned forwards, pulled her down and covered her with his body. ”Quiero follarte hasta el fin del mundo,” he murmured into her ear.

”Really?” she said softly. ”Until the end of time?”

He tensed for a moment, his blood thundering in his ears. Yes. No. s.h.i.+t. Definitely no. ”Just an expression I picked up,” he murmured, forcing himself to relax. ”How do you say 'all night long?”

”Toda la noche.”

Better. Much better. Because 'forever this certainly was not. ”Quiero follarte toda la noche.”

”Well, then,” said Mercy with a smile as she wound her arms around his neck and pulled him down, ”what are you waiting for?”

When Seb had said he wanted to have s.e.x with her until the end of time, Mercy had known he hadnt really meant it. But that hadnt stopped her wondering over the last couple of days how long she wanted what they had to last, and it hadnt stopped her from suspecting, worryingly, that the answer might indeed be until the end of time.

That couldnt be so. Although they hadnt put a time limit on their arrangement she knew perfectly well that it wasnt permanent. And that was OK because she didnt want permanent. Nevertheless, what with the whole conversation aspect which meant she and Seb now talked lightly about all manner of general interest things and which had led to a sort of well, camaraderie, she supposed she could feel herself possibly becoming a bit...entangled.

Take today for example. Thanksgiving. Here she was, setting the long wide table in Sullys which was closed for the day in preparation for an early dinner. The weather was abysmal but the fire was blazing and music was playing, and it promised to be an evening of warmth and love and laughter as well as excellent food and, seeing as it was being provided by her, even more excellent wine. Everyone except Zel, who was in Russia, would be in attendance: JP, Faith, Ty, Dawn and Finn and finally, Casey and Ronan, also the Sullivan brothers, these two twins.

But not Seb.

And it shouldnt have mattered. In fact, she should have been pleased that Zel wasnt around to invite him because that would have been beyond awkward. But somehow it did matter, and his absence bothered her.