Part 39 (1/2)
Roberts looked at her oddly. ”Is that what you want to do--you?” he asked bluntly.
”Want to do?” Again the laugh. ”What does it matter what I want to do?”
She caught herself suddenly. ”Margery and I may go away to a lake somewhere during that week,” she completed.
”And after that?” suggested the man.
”The university will be open then. I've secured a place this year,--a.s.sistant in English.”
”You're really serious, Elice?” soberly. ”This is news to me, you know.
You really purpose teaching in future?”
”Yes.” She returned her companion's look steadily. ”Father was not reappointed for the coming session. He's over the age line. I supposed you knew.”
”No; I didn't know before.” Without apparent reason Roberts stood up. The great hands were working again. A moment he stood there so, the big bushy head outlined distinctly against the starlit sky; with equal abruptness he returned to his seat.
”What a farce this is you and I are playing,” he said. ”Do you really wish it to go on longer?”
The girl did not look at him, did not move.
”Farce?” she echoed.
The man gestured swiftly.
”Don't do that, please,” he prevented. ”You and I know each other entirely too well to pretend. I repeat, do you wish this travesty to go on indefinitely? If you do I accept, of course--but--do you?”
Instinctively, as on a former occasion, the girl drew her chair farther back on the porch, until her face was in the shadow. It was out of the shadow that she spoke.
”Prefer it to go on? Yes,” she said; ”because I wish you to remain as you are now. But really wish it, no; because it's unfair, wholly unfair.”
”Unfair to me?”
”Yes, to you.”
For the second time Roberts gestured. ”Take that consideration out of the discussion absolutely, please,” he said. ”With that understanding do you still wish this pretence to go on?”
”I wish to keep your friends.h.i.+p.”
”My friends.h.i.+p--nothing more? I'm brutally blunt, I realize; but I can't let to-night, this last night, go by without knowing something of how you feel. You never have given me even so much as a hint, you know. I've waited patiently, I think, for you to select the moment for confidence; but you avoid it always; and to-morrow at this time--You know I love you, Elice. Knowing that, do you still wish me to go away pretending merely polite friends.h.i.+p? Do you wish it to be that way, Elice?”
The girl ignored the question, ignored all except the dominant statement.
”Yes, I know you love me,” she echoed. ”You told me so once before.”
”Once! A thousand times; you understood the language. It seems foolish even to reiterate the fact now. And yet you've never answered.”
”I know. I said it was unfair; and still--”
”You won't answer even yet.”
”I can't. I'm drifting and waiting for light. Don't misunderstand; that isn't religion--I've not been to church in a year, or said a prayer. It isn't that at all. I simply don't want to hate myself, or be hated by another justly later.”