50 Eyes of disgust. (2/2)
” I have given you so many choices, you should have just disappeared out of our lives. You were always so focused on yourself, that you deliberately ignored the problems of others. You just moved away to not face our troubles anymore. Yet, even after you degraded to a parasite you had to the gall to appear in front of our eyes from time to time.It was all about the heritage, you needed it to fund that filthy lifestyle of yours.”
”It would be a lie if I said that I never loved you, but those were the days of my early childhood. You did not see every tear of our mother, every beer father drank because he was under such high pressure. No, you just lived your life. As long as they provide you with money you were content and left them alone. I had to see it, I wanted to change it, I asked, begged and pleaded for you to see the errors in your way, but no you did not care.”
”I had enough, my parents did not deserve such a fate, so I decided to sent you to the house you lived in before your death. I oversaw any step and made any contact impossible. But even after all the misery that our family suffered our father still loved you and send you money behind my back.”
”You always acted like a real asshole, but of course that was only on the surface. What do you take me for? Of course, I am able to see through that play of yours. You are the type of person I despise the most. WIth all your intelligence, what did you do what did you achieve? With all your possibilities you gave up when it did not turn into your favour. You still had the gall to treat me as if I am something better than you.
In school I was never really good, every result I got was by hard work. Yet, you were the point of focus for their affection, after all, you were their heir. Did you think, that the poor little girl would be satisfied by your attention alone? I wanted to prove myself not get approved just because I existed. But you had no strive, no compassion. I tried and tried yet it was never enough. But what did you do? You pushed me in the front, made me the focus of all the affection. Should I not be happy? Even after I got what I wanted, your shadow still loomed over everything I did. It is a war I just cannot win.
”I did everything just to get their approved and you just nodded and took it without any objections. How nice of you, but you did not see, how it is to be damned to live in your shadow. I still hear them saying, learn a bit more and you can be as good as your brother. Brother here, Brother there. I was so sick of hearing that. I just wanted to break that shitty facade of yours to watch you slowly break and blame the world. I wanted to see, that you are as impure and filthy as I am.”
” But even after I destroyed your livelihood, made you cut all your social ties and forced you to sustain your life by doing odd jobs. You still did not blame anyone. I was so close to breaking you, but that idiot had to fuck up and cause such heavy injuries to you. So I never got the chance to see you down. But now since you are gone, I can take the full heritage, without worrying about sharing something. I hope there is no afterlife, so I do not have to see you ever again.”
So she was responsible for my demise. I am not angry just disappointed. She put all that energy into making me feel miserable, while she was the one suffering in the first place. She can finally be at rest after I am gone.
She just looked at me, with that face full of disgust. She was savouring the moment, was I really that despicable towards her? She just muttered one last thing to me. ”Do not worry, about that little whore you brought from the streets, I will take care of her. I will enjoy crushing her till the very last”
I did not care what else she had to say, what her motivation was in doing so. She hurt her, HER. She, who did not do anything wrong? But you see her connection to me as a crime?
Something new appeared in front of me.
This place looked oddly familiar. It was the street, that I had lived in before I died. I saw my sister talking to me. I remembered now, we had talked about the girl I picked up from the streets only this one time. But with that eyes of pure disgust, you looked and me and said. ”You should savour the moments, with her because you might never know when they end.” That was the day before she left and never came back.
That damn eyes I do not want to see them anymore.
I wanted to choke her, watch her suffer but I was obstructed by something. Blinded by rage I just punched the obstruction, so that I can reach her and rip out that damn eyes of her. My whole body felt like it was melting, but I preferred to hurt her. Everything was aching, every felt like falling apart. But the sensation of grabbing her throat and slowly crushing it, made me forget about everything else.