Part 17 (1/2)
”But everyone knew Howard was being trained for the post. They loved him as they loved your father.”
”Which was reason enough for John to look elsewhere.”
”How did he explain it?”
”That was easy enough. He did not want the post to sit vacant while Howard completed his schooling.” She had been too mired in grief to question events. The Bridwells had come to officiate at the funeral, then stayed. And it wasn't as if the change had left her homeless-though John would have gloated if it had. She had married Frederick two months earlier.
For the first time, she wondered if John would have tossed her father out with the other servants if he hadn't wished to torment her.
”Did you ever wonder why John chose the Bridwells?” James asked, interrupting her thoughts.
She shook her head. ”I a.s.sumed the bishop filled the vacancy, though I know John could evict them if they displeased him-which was another reason Howard would never have accepted it. Your father was shortsighted to believe it would have worked.”
”Or blind. He could never admit that his heir was wanting.” He sighed. ”I did some checking. Not only did John request Bridwell, he had to fight to get him here.”
”Why?”
”The bishop was ready to remove Bridwell from the clergy,”
”What?”
”My secretary visited Bridwell's last posting. He had become entangled with a girl who wound up dead, but the evidence was murky. Bridwell was one of three men who might have killed her. John's testimony exonerated Bridwell and focused attention on another man-who was ultimately hanged.”
”So he brought Bridwell here.” Fury sharpened her tone.
He nodded. ”John swore Bridwell was innocent, then offered this post to allow the town to put the matter to rest. Some had been questioning whether justice had been served, but they accepted his solution. Bridwell was grateful, and John gained a vicar loyal solely to him.”
”But why would Bridwell care?”
”I think he was guilty-evidence later showed the other man could not have done it. John probably had proof all along. Blackmail would explain why Bridwell supported him against everyone else in the parish.”
”But that would also give him a motive for killing John.” She had twisted back to stare at him.
”True. Who would ever suspect a vicar?”
”Then why continue supporting him?”
”Think, Mary. If he changed, people, would ask why.”
”Of course. And if he continues, you are bound to send him away.”
”But I may be wrong on every count. I haven't one shred of evidence.”
”Have you spoken to Squire Church about this?”
He shook his head. ”Isaac's prejudices aside, every man in the area had reason to hate John. So I must ask myself what Isaac's grievance was. If a vicar had cause to kill-and had already done so-why not a magistrate?”
”I cannot see him killing anyone.” Her hand gripped his arm. She had never considered any of her friends as potential murderers. Yet he was right. Everyone had hated John.
”I did not mean to distress, you, Mary,” James murmured, covering her hand with his. ”Do you care so much for him then?” His stomach twisted at the thought. He had not taken Isaac's claim seriously when the man announced that he would take her to wife. Had she formed a tendre for him?
”I care for everyone,” she said sadly. ”It distresses me to think of my friends and neighbors as potential killers. It was easier to think of the culprit in the abstract than to a.s.sign him a known face.”
”Perhaps I should cease sharing my information with you.” He stared into her eyes. Was this a crisis of nerves, or was she protecting someone?
”No. Not knowing would be worse.” Her voice was breathless, stirring the fires that she ignited every time they met. Her hand trembled. Those blue eyes were deep pools, swirling with conflicting emotions. But fear was not uppermost today. Nor was anger. He saw curiosity. Desire. Heat. Uncertainty?
”As you wish,” he whispered, moving close enough to blur the sight. ”We will share.” Everything. His lips touched hers. Lightning burst through his head as her hand clenched tighter.
He fought to keep it light, keep it nonthreatening, keep it simple. But his free arm slipped around her shoulders, pulling her closer.
She tensed.
Don't frighten her, he admonished himself, holding part of his mind aloof so he could think. She dragged at his reason like opium, drawing him toward mind-numbing rapture with a promise of sensual pleasure. But the promise was a lie, at least for now.
Her lips softened as he brushed them lightly, then trembled as he angled his mouth across them. But she did not draw back. Her fingers released their grasp to slide around his neck. Her bosom pressed into his chest, each breast the perfect size to fill his hand, each point stabbing new desire into his loins.
He needed relief, craved it beyond even his next ragged breath. He wanted to deepen the kiss, wanted to pull her closer until every curve of her body touched his, wanted to rip- No, he reminded himself again. This was not the time. He could fantasize later. One wrong move would wipe out every gain he'd made.
But it was already too late. His arm had tightened, imprisoning her against him. She stiffened, fighting free of his grasp.
”No!”
He let her go, knives stabbing his heart at the terror blazing in her eyes. ”Stop!” he ordered as she scrambled to her feet. ”I won't touch you again.”
”What- ” She glanced back, her terror gradually fading when he made no move to rise.
”You cannot rush into the house until you have yourself under control,” he reminded her soothingly, though he had to swallow his pounding heart before he could talk. ”You have guests.”
”Of course.” Her mind must be working again, for she was smoothing her gown and checking her hair. He spared a moment to exult that she had lost herself in that kiss.
”Sit down, Mary. Your face is white. If you swoon, I will have to catch you. I don't want to break my word about touching you.”
She gingerly resumed her seat, but she was practically falling off the end of the bench.
He sighed. ”What just happened?”
”Nothing, my lord. I told you once before that I was not available for dalliance. You should have listened.”
”I am not interested in dalliance. I could never dishonor you so.” It was true, he realized in shock. His desire was stronger than ever, but he would never be content with merely bedding her. He needed more. Much more.
”Stop,” she begged, but her eyes had widened in horror. He cursed himself for losing control of his face, allowing her to see his intentions. ”I will leave as soon as my sisters are settled. You have no place in my future or I in yours.”
”Leave?” His head swirled.
”Now that Justin is home, I have no reason to stay. My widow's portion will support me quite nicely. For once I will be able to live where and how I choose.”
He remained silent. What could he say? He had rushed his fences, pus.h.i.+ng her into a decision he could not like. But argument would achieve nothing.
Her reaction to what had been a fairly chaste kiss showed just how rough Frederick must have been with her. He had no further doubts that she feared intimacy.