Part 69 (2/2)

'Well, and do you see THIS?' bawled Squeers 'This is a glass' Peg saw that too

'See here, then,' said Squeers, accolass from the bottle, and I say ”Your health, Slider,” and eenteelly with a little drop, which I'm forced to throw into the fire-hallo! we shall have the chiain, and hand it over to you'

'YOUR health,' said Peg

'She understands that, anyways,'Mrs Sliderskew as she dispatched her portion, and choked and gasped in a'Now then, let's have a talk How's the rheu and chuckling, and with looks expressive of her strong admiration of Mr Squeers, his person, manners, and conversation, replied that the rheumatics were better

'What's the reason,' said Mr Squeers, deriving fresh facetiousness from the bottle; 'what's the reason of rheumatics? What do they mean? What do people have'eested that it was possibly because they couldn't help it

'Measles, rheuers,' said Mr Squeers, 'is all philosophy together; that's what it is The heavenly bodies is philosophy, and the earthly bodies is philosophy If there's a screw loose in a heavenly body, that's philosophy; and if there's screw loose in a earthly body, that's philosophy too; or it may be that sometimes there's a little metaphysics in it, but that's not often Philosophy's the chap for me If a parent asks a question in the classical, coravely, ”Why, sir, in the first place, are you a philosopher?”-”No, Mr Squeers,” he says, ”I an't” ”Then, sir,” says I, ”I am sorry for you, for I shan't be able to explain it” Naturally, the parent goes away and wishes he was a philosopher, and, equally naturally, thinks I'reat dealhis eye all the time on Mrs Sliderskeas unable to hear one word, Mr Squeers concluded by helping hi reverence

'That's the time of day!' said Mr Squeers 'You look twenty pound ten better than you did'

Again Mrs Sliderskew chuckled, butverbally to the compliment

'Twenty pound ten better,' repeated Mr Squeers, 'than you did that day when I first introducedher head, 'but you frightened me that day'

'Did I?' said Squeers; 'well, it was rather a startling thing for a stranger to co that he knew all about you, and what your na so quiet here, and what you had boned, and who you boned it fro assent

'But I know everything that happens in that way, you see,' continued Squeers 'Nothing takes place, of that kind, that I an't up to entirely I', and understanding too; I'h every ets theers, I'ue of his own merits and accomplishments, which was partly the result of a concerted plan between himself and Ralph Nickleby, and flowed, in part, from the black bottle, was here interrupted by Mrs Sliderskew

'Ha, ha, ha!' she cried, folding her ar her head; 'and so he wasn't married after all, wasn't he Not married after all?'

'No,' replied Squeers, 'that he wasn't!'

'And a young lover co

'From under his very nose,' replied Squeers; 'and I'h besides, and broke the winders, and forced hi favour which nearly choked hi, with a malicious relish of her oldquite fearful; 'let's hear it all again, beginning at the beginning now, as if you'd never toldat the very first, you knohen he went to the house thatMrs Sliderskew freely with the liquor, and sustaining hi so loud by frequent applications to it hi the discomfiture of Arthur Gride, with such improveenious invention and application of which had been very instru of their acquaintance Mrs Sliderskeas in an ecstasy of delight, rolling her head about, drawing up her skinny shoulders, and wrinkling her cadaverous face into so liness, as awakened the unbounded astonishust even of Mr Squeers

'He's a treacherous old goat,' said Peg, 'and cozenedpromises, but never mind I'm even with him I'm even with him'

'More than even, Slider,' returned Squeers; 'you'd have been even with hiotway ahead Out of sight, Slider, quite out of sight And that relass, 'if you want ive you my opinion of them deeds, and tell you what you'd better keep and what you'd better burn, why, now's your ti, with several knowing looks and winks

'Oh! very well!' observed Squeers, 'it don't e you nothing, being a friend You're the best judge of course But you're a bold wo

'Why, I onlyht be turned into money-them as wasn't useful made aith, and them as was, laid by somewheres, safe; that's all,' returned Squeers; 'but everybody's the best judge of their own affairs All I say is, Slider, I wouldn't do it'

'Co, 'then you shall see 'em'

'I don't want to see 'e to be out of humour; 'don't talk as if it was a treat Show 'em to somebody else, and take their advice'

Mr Squeers would, very likely, have carried on the farce of being offended a little longer, if Mrs Sliderskew, in her anxiety to restore herself to her forraces, had not become so extre srace as possible, these little familiarities-for which, there is reason to believe, the black bottle was at least as much to blame as any constitutional infirmity on the part of Mrs Sliderskew-he protested that he had only been joking: and, in proof of his uniood-humour, that he was ready to exa, he could afford any satisfaction or relief of mind to his fair friend

'And now you're up, my Slider,' bawled Squeers, as she rose to fetch the trotted to the door, and after fu at the bolt, crept to the other end of the room, and from beneath the coals which filled the botto placed this on the floor at Squeers's feet, she brought, froned to that gentleerly followed her everyback the lid, gazed with rapture on the docu, kneeling down on the floor beside hi his iet any et him into trouble by, and fret and waste away his heart to shreds, those we'll take particular care of; for that's what I want to do, and what I hoped to do when I left hiht,' said Squeers, 'that you didn't bear hiood-will But, I say, why didn't you take so

'Some money,' roared Squeers 'I do believe the woman hears me, and wants to make me break a wessel, so that sheme Some money, Slider, , with some contempt 'If I had taken money from Arthur Gride, he'd have scoured the whole earth to find me-aye, and he'd have smelt it out, and raked it up, somehow, if I had buried it at the bottoland No, no! I knew better than that I took what I thought his secrets were hid in: and them he couldn't afford to make public, let'e; a sly, old, cunning, thankless dog! He first starved, and then tricked ht, and very laudable,' said Squeers 'But, first and fores as may lead to discovery Always mind that So while you pull it to pieces (which you can easily do, for it's very old and rickety) and burn it in little bits, I'll look over the papers and tell you what they are'

Peg, expressing her acquiescence in this arrange the contents upon the floor, handed it to her; the destruction of the box being an exte her attention, in case it should prove desirable to distract it fros

'There!' said Squeers; 'you poke the pieces between the bars, and ood fire, and I'll read the while Letthe candle down beside hirin overspreading his face, entered upon his task of examination

If the old woman had not been very deaf, sheof two persons close behind it: and if those two persons had been unacquainted with her infirmity, theythe hom they had to deal, they remained quite still, and now, not only appeared unobserved at the door-which was not bolted, for the bolt had no hasp-but warily, and with noiseless footsteps, advanced into the rooht and scarcely perceptible degrees, and with such caution that they scarcely see of any such invasion, and utterly unconscious of there being any soul near but themselves, were busily occupied with their tasks The old woman, with her wrinkled face close to the bars of the stove, puffing at the dull e down to the candle, which brought out the full ugliness of his face, as the light of the fire did that of his co faces of exultation which contrasted strongly with the anxious looks of those behind, who took advantage of the slightest sound to cover their advance, and, almost before they had ain This, with the large bare rooht, combined to form a scene which the most careless and indifferent spectator (could any have been present) could scarcely have failed to derive sootten

Of the stealthy cos the other Newht up, by the rusty nozzle, an old pair of bellohich were just undergoing a flourish in the air preparatory to a descent upon the head of Mr Squeers, when Frank, with an earnest gesture, stayed his ar another step in advance, cahtly forward, he could plainly distinguish the writing which he held up to his eye

Mr Squeers, not being remarkably erudite, appeared to be considerably puzzled by this first prize, which was in an engrossing hand, and not very legible except to a practised eye Having tried it by reading fro it equally clear both ways, he turned it upside doith no better success

'Ha, ha, ha!' chuckled Peg, who, on her knees before the fire, was feeding it with frag inabout, eh?'

'Nothing particular,' replied Squeers, tossing it towards her 'It's only an old lease, as well as I can make out Throw it in the fire'

Mrs Sliderskew complied, and inquired what the next one was

'This,' said Squeers, 'is a bundle of overdue acceptances and renewed bills of six or eight young gentlemen, but they're all MPs, so it's of no use to anybody Throw it in the fire!' Peg did as she was bidden, and waited for the next

'This,' said Squeers, 'seeht of presentation to the rectory of Purechurch, in the valley of Cashup Take care of that, Slider, literally for God's sake It'll fetch its price at the Auction Mart'

'What's the next?' inquired Peg

'Why, this,' said Squeers, 'seems, from the two letters that's with it, to be a bond froes of forty pound for borrowing twenty Take care of that, for if he don't pay it, his bishop will very soon be down upon him We knohat the camel and the needle's eye means; no man as can't live upon his incoo to heaven at any price It's very odd; I don't see anything like it yet'