Part 3 (2/2)

Jaina opened her mouth to deny it all-but then she caught Uncle Luke's eye, and knew there was no point to it. For that matter, her mother had the same skills in truth sensing as Uncle Luke. That would be the one facet of her abilities in the Force that her mother would have practiced.

Life would have been a lot easier if she could fib to her parents the way other kids could. But as it was, there really wasn't any point.

”You're correct,” Jaina said, not quite able to keep a sulky tone out of her voice.

”In that case, I think it is just about time for you to go to your room, young lady.”

”But...”

”But nothing,” Han said. That did it for Jaina. There was no point in fighting against her father when he used that tone of voice.

She got up from the table and stalked to the room she shared with her brothers, still pouting and annoyed at them all-even though she knew, deep in her heart of hearts, that it was all her own fault.

That was the other problem with all this Jedi business.

You couldn't even tell fibs to yourself.

The rest of the meal did not go much better after Jalna was sent to bed, Leia thought. There was sort of a chain reaction whenever they punished one of the twins. The other twin would get edgy, and ask to be excused, so as to slip away to commiserate with the prisoner. Then Anakin would notice something was wrong and want to go see what was up. Send one child away, and all three would be gone from the table in ten minutes.

Usually the adults managed to have a pleasant meal afterward by themselves, and enjoyed the peace and quiet. Not tonight. Han was relentlessly pretending everything was fine, chewie was being even less convincing, and Luke was doing his best to go along with the charade.

”Looking forward to the trip to Corellia?” Luke asked, plainly trying to make conversation.

”Hmm... Oh yeah. Absolutely., ” Han replied ”It's going to be great. Wish you could come along.”

”It's tempting,” Luke said. ”But I promised Lando that I'd help him with some sort of secret project of his.”

”Yeah, he mentioned something about that,” Han said.

”Any hint about what it might be?”

Luke shook his head. ”Not a word. Just that it might take a few weeks.”

”Well, I can't wait to see what he's gotten himself into this time.”

”Me neither,” Luke said. ”Oh, Leia, by the way, speaking of secrets, I'm supposed to have a meeting with Mon Mothma tomorrow evening.

She wouldn't tell me what she wanted, either. Nothing but cla.s.sified missions for me, I guess.”

Han gave Luke a strange look, and had to force a smile.

”Yeah, real hush-hush stuff,” he said.

At last Leia couldn't stand it anymore. ”Excuse me, she said. ”I really have some work I have to do tonight.”

She got up from the table, not really caring how lame the excuse sounded, and hurried along to her study. She closed the door and slapped the override on the light control before the automatics could brighten the room too much. She edged the lights up just a trifle from minimum.

Let it stay dim in here.

Of course, the sad part was that work wasn't actually an excuse.

There was always some bottomless pit of work, no matter how much she delegated. Leia let out a sigh and crossed to her desk. The desk light tund itself on, a shaft of light bright and clear, and she left it that way. She sat in the darkness, on the edge of a pool of light, and found that she could not bring herself to deal with even one of the vital doc.u.ments that covered her desk.

Why should such a tiny dinneflime scuffle upset her so much? She knew that most of it was the underlying tension at the table, but there was more to it than that. There were times, and this was one of them, when, for no clear reason at all, the whole idea of motherhood, of the job of molding her children into civilized humans, seemed suddenly terrifying.

She saw now just how much of her childhood had been spent being told to be quiet and not to fidget during state dinners, being constantly handed off to nannies and guardians when her father was too busy. She had had far more meals with the droids and servants than with Bail Organa.

And what childhood she did have had not lasted very long.

She had still been in her teens when she found herself getting pulled deeper and deeper into politics. It had been a real accomplishment to become a senator as young as she hadbut the accomplishment was purchased by surrendering the last of her childhood, the last of her innocence. Only now, as she looked at the world through her children's eyes, did she realize just how steep a price that had been.

Han never did say much about his own childhood, or about much of anything concerning his life before leaving Corellia. Luke had come the closest of any of them to having a normal upbringing. He had been raised on Tatooine, thinking a farm couple, Owen and Beru Lars, were his aunt and uncle. But his early life had been just as isolated as Leia's, in its own way. A moisture farm must have been pretty lonely place for a child to grow up on, even in normal circ.u.mstances-and circ.u.mstances had been far from normal.

Owen and Beru had posed as Luke's uncle and aunt. As best Leia understood, they had been kind to Luke, but in a distant sort of way.

There had never been the closeness, the warmth, Leia wanted for her own children.

It didn't escape Leia's notice that neither she nor her brother had actually been adopted by the people who raised them. Circ.u.mstances had required a certain degree of subterfuge, of well-intended deception, of careful distance for everyone's protection. Foster daughter and purported nephew were the closest ties Leia and Luke could claim.

There was another piece of knowledge, guilty knowledge, that gnawed at Leia's conscience, and, she had no doubt, at Luke's as well. Each had been the unwitting, unwilling agent of death for the people who had raised them. The planet of Alderaan was chosen as a fit target for destruction by the Death Star in large part because it was Leia's home, and Owen and Bern had been killed by Imperial stormtroopers as they searched for the droids Luke had.

With all that baggage to carry around, it was scarcely surprising that Leia was determined that her family would be a family, and not just a collection of strangers who happened to share some ancestors. Nor was it ever far from her mind that the children of powerful or prominent families often found themselves as players-or worse, p.a.w.ns-In complicated power struggles. Even if her children were not going to inherit her office or her powers, they were still the next generation of what came close to being the Republic's royal family.

Like it or not, intended or not, her children were, in effect, the second generation of a dynasty. It did not take much imagination to see the dangers in that. The temptations of power and wealth could be strong. Suppose that, somehow, they proved stronger than family ties?

Suppose, twenty years from now, Anakin were plotting to gain some advantage over Jacen? Suppose some untrustworthy adviser urged Jacen to push his brother and sister out of the way of some glittering prize?

It seemed impossible - but history was littered with such tales.

But there was more, and worse. That her children were strong in the Force was, beyond doubt, a great gift. But it was also a great danger. It was never far from Leia's mind that Darth Vader, her father, her children's grandfather, had likewise been strong in the Force-and had been destroyed by the dark side. The day would dawn, no doubt, when each of her children would have to face the dark side. The very idea terrified leia. k made her fear that they might someday bicker with eacti other over money or power seem utterly trivial.

Every little outburst of childhood surliness, every momentary black mood, every childish temptation to tell an obvious fib, scared her to death. It was illogical, irrational, but she could never stop herself from wondering if this bit of childish naughtiness or that bit of youthful bad judgment was ally a child succ.u.mbing to some temptation of the dark side of the Force.

4n theory, that was not sup~ to be possible. Jedi lore held that childish innocence was a bulwark against the dark side. But Jedi lore also held it all but unheard of for any child to display the ability and strength in the Force that her children exhibited.

The dangers were great, but it seemed to her there was but one defense against both dangers, a defense so commonplace that it almost seemed absurd that it could triumph over such mighty forces, but there it was. The best she could do was to raise her children well.

Leia Organa Solo was bound and determined that her children would reach adulthood with their characters strong and firm and honest, their family ties solid, with love in their hearts for each other. If that meant being strict with her children, or sending Jaina to bed straight from dinner, or refusing them droid servants, then so be it.

Ieia propped her elbows up on the desk and rubbed her eyes. She was just too tired, that was all. A minor dinnertime squabble should not induce this much worry. It would be good to get away, take a rest.

It was a fine idea of Han's for them all to go to Corellia for a family vacation before the trade conference.

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