215 Chapter one, 2016, rainy days: 7 (2/2)
'How can you be that cold?'
Kuri-chan must have noticed Kyoko's stiffness, because she stopped and pulled Kyoko around. ”I'm prepared to live a very different life if I can share it with Ulf, but I can't drag him down with me. You understand that, don't you?”
What Kyoko saw in her friend's eyes was equal parts panic and desperation.
”Why, why would you give him up?”
A few seconds of silence followed when Kuri-chan's face shifted from love-sickness to wrath and back to love again. ”Because he's the first I've loved more than myself.” Then she smirked. ”Don't misunderstand me. I'm always first in my life, but that doesn't mean I love myself more than him.”
Kyoko felt incomprehension compete with anger in her. ”I don't understand,” she said and turned away. A few resolute steps brought her up another half a flight before she stopped and looked down at her friend. ”I don't understand, and I don't want to.”
Kuri-chan looked back before looking away. She rested her hands against the windowsill and leaned her forehead against the pane. Barely audible her voice came out, a hoarse whisper mixed with silent sobs. ”Ulf gives meaning to my life. He fills it with colour. He's the best thing that has ever happened to me. When I wake up the first thing I think of is him and when I go to sleep I daydream about what we did together or what we could have done.”
'How can you even think of letting someone like that go?'
”I'm losing him to my job, and I'd lose him if I quit, because he'd never allow himself to let me become less than I could be.”
Something glittered on the sill and when Kyoko looked closer she saw droplets of tears spreading. Choking down her own tears she ran down the stairs to hug her friend.
”Kuri-chan, you're my best friend. Please let me help you in any way I can! I can't stand seeing you like this!”
Tall girl with golden hair never as much as moved, but Kyoko could feel her friend trying to hide the racking sobs that threatened to overtake her through their embrace. They stood like that for what felt like an eternity but probably was only a few seconds. Then Kuri-chan turned in Kyoko's arms and placed her hands on Kyoko's shoulders to push her away far enough for them to face each other.
”Then, as my best friend, please make me believe! Please help me pretend that I can keep Ulf by my side forever!”
'You ask of me so little and so much more than I can ever give you.' ”Yes, of course I'll make Urufu stay with you forever,” Kyoko lied. It hurt more than she had expected, and yet she felt numb. ”Urufu loves you, and if you tried to break up he'd know how much you loved him. He'd never give up on you,” she said. As the words left her mouth Kyoko realised it was the second lie she told in a row.