191 Chapter five, 2016, days of waiting: 8 (1/2)

That was a bad memory. The memory of Ulf's body shaking with tears and loss still occupied her mind whenever she wondered if she had the ability to solve a problem. And that was a bad problem in itself. Never before had she allowed herself to become dependent on anyone else this way.

She wondered. He never said he loved her, but he always acted with love. Still she needed those words. 'Ulf, are you so afraid of losing me that you don't dare having me?'

Something was breaking apart inside of her. The love she felt consumed her. It burned from the inside, and if he didn't speak soon, if he didn't provide that fuel, the fire would take her love and twist it into something she didn't want so see.

'I can't compete with your memories.'

That knowledge was what finally made Christina make up her mind. As soon as Ulf was discharged from the hospital she'd make certain he spent the night with her, and not just sleeping together with her like they had done before. She wasn't sure it would be enough, but sharing her body with him should bind them closer together, and after watching him grieve in the hospital she was desperate to make him hers alone.

She shook her head and forced herself back to reality. Make-up exams weren't exactly the most fun way to spend her time, but flunking four out of five exams gave her little choice.

'Math, I always hated math.' She bent over her paper and attacked the next question as if it had been an especially disgusting bug.

Half an hour later she was done and left for the toilets. With a bit of luck she had managed a passing grade. Next lesson was English, and even if her spelling and grammar was poor she had enough professional experience from using the language to avoid doing the same mistake twice in a short span of time. That make-up exam ought to be a breeze.

When the day was over Christina left school with just one exam she needed to retake for the second time. With problems of a normal degree of importance she'd go home and study, but right now smearing Red Rose left and right took precedence.

She arrived at Stockholm Haven café and immediately went inside the inner room. Inside she sat down by the large table, fired up her laptop and placed her smart-phone beside it on the table. James having installed Wi-Fi and a decent internet-connection helped a lot.

'Let's see how much damage we've done this far,' she thought and started browsing through the latest communities she had seeded with partially truthful accusations.

'Superb!' Anxious mothers joining a weekly digital gathering for preschool parents embellished the seeds she had sown. 'Now it'll start spreading by word of mouth. Another week and I'll accept Nakagawa's promised help to pour fuel on the rumours among their husbands.'

”Water of coffee?” James' voice said from the door.

”Coffee,” Christina replied. ”Make it strong!”

”Any news on your boyfriend?”

”Day after tomorrow. I'll be there when he's discharged.”

”Does he know what you're doing?” James asked and made no move whatsoever to make her coffee.

Christina looked up from her laptop and stared at him across the table. ”Doing?”

”Yes, all of you kids, including those who really are kids.”