Part 14 (2/2)
'Its all right, Mrs Crisp. Can we have some tea, please? Id like to talk with you.
She bustled about while I clenched my hands and tried to marshal words in some sort of order. When everything was ready and I couldnt put it off any longer, I began.
'I ... need your help, Mrs Crisp. I dont ... know what to do. Russell isnt here to ... tell me. I dont know where he is. Ive ... never run a house. What do I do? ... Do I offer to help? Its a ... big house. I should be ... doing things. But I ... dont ... know what.
All that took a very long time. At the end, I sipped my tea and didnt look at her.
She folded and re-folded a tea towel. 'Im so pleased to have this opportunity to talk to you, Mrs Checkland. And we certainly dont need Russell to sort this out. Not that hed be the slightest use anyway. I dont know where he is, either, but dont you worry yourself, my dear. Hes probably not daring to come back because he knows hes not too big to get a clout round the ear when he does. Properly speaking, of course, thats your job now. If you need something to stand on, just let me know.
She looked so fierce, I couldnt help laughing. I just hoped shed never come after me with a tea towel!
'But thank you for your offer, Mrs Checkland. Its gratefully accepted. Ive been thinking about this. When the other Mrs Checkland, Russells mother, was here, we would get together on Mondays and talk over menus and things and what we needed for the coming week. Then on Fridays, I would present her with the bills and wed do the accounts. Would you like to start with that?
I could do that. I nodded. This was much easier than I had thought it would be. Across the kitchen, Thomas was nodding encouragement and approval.
'About the housework, she s.h.i.+fted in her chair. I thought this had been too easy. Was some ghastly domestic problem about to present itself and I had to sort it out? I remembered Aunt Julia once saying that any sentence that started with the words, 'I wonder if I might have a word with you, madam ... was the lead-in to domestic meltdown. I braced myself.
'The thing is, she said slowly and then straightened her back and carried on more firmly, 'the thing is, when the other Mrs Checkland was here, there was me, of course, and two women from the village came up to help. Just part-timers, a couple of days a week. When it was just Russell and me, it didnt matter so much, but now hes opened up the house again, theres all these rooms to clean, and Kevins here so theres extra laundry and extra meals, especially if everyone doesnt eat together, and Im sorry, Mrs Checkland, but Im not as young as I used to be and ... She stopped. I wasnt the only one who feared for the future.
I patted her hand. Aunt Julia would have thrown a fit but tastefully, of course.
'Its OK, Mrs Crisp. Well Ill see what I can do. I didnt have a clue, but hopefully, Id think of something.
If anything, her embarra.s.sment increased. 'To tell the truth, Ive already got someone in mind, only I havent liked to mention it because, well, shes a relative and it didnt seem proper somehow.
Tired from all that talking, I just raised an eyebrow, but she understood.
'Actually, I think you might already know her. Its Sharon Ellis. She used to be a waitress at The Copper Kettle. Shes my niece.
My mind flew back. 'Has she left?
'They werent very kind to her. And shes a good girl and a very hard worker. You wouldnt regret it, Mrs Checkland. She bakes like a dream. She wants her own cake shop one day. Thats why she can only do part-time. She goes to college two days a week.
'She sounds ideal.
She nodded. 'Thank you, Mrs Checkland. Ill give her a ring. Sh.e.l.l be thrilled.
My first decision as Mrs Checkland. I felt quite proud of myself. And if Russell didnt like it then he should have b.l.o.o.d.y well been here to say no.
'Fine. In the ... meantime, shall I lend a hand until she starts?
'That would be appreciated, thank you.
'Ive finished my books, so Ill get rid of the ... boxes and dust and hoover the living room.
It was never going to be that easy.
'Ill dust. You hoover.
'OK, I said, feeling a little bit happy for the first time in ages.
We compromised again that evening. I had a delicious dinner on a tray on my lap in the newly cleaned living room. A fire crackled merrily in the gate. The curtains were closed and Id switched off the harsh overhead light and just kept the wall lamps. It was the kind of room that looked best in the evening.
Thomas and I watched a little television afterwards. I was relaxed and happy, looking around and thinking how much better everything was looking when the door opened and Russell Checkland walked in.
Chapter Six.
My heart stood still. I stared up at the tall figure outlined by firelight and felt absurdly guilty all my quiet pleasure in the day destroyed. I didnt know what to do. My legs were underneath me so I was in no position to move quickly, should I have needed to do so.
'Calm down, said Thomas. ' This is Russell Checkland. You played together when you were children. He took on your Aunt Julia and won. Just sit still and see what happens.
The world had stopped. Apart from the crackling fire and the irritatingly irregular tick-tock from the old clock in the corner, there was no sound. Gradually, I began to unclench.
Finally, he spoke. In a choked voice, he said, 'Sorry.
He stepped forward as he said it and I was shocked. I dont know what had happened or where hed been and I wasnt going to ask, but he was suffering. The shadows around his eyes were dreadful. At some point, hed slept in his clothes. Even now, he wasnt completely sober. And he was exhausted. His hands were shaking. What could have done this to him?
I should say something, but I was so shocked that nothing was going to get through, so I stepped up to him and gently touched his arm. Close up, he smelled of drink, stale clothes, and sweat.
I went out into the kitchen. Mrs Crisp turned from the stove. I think shed been crying. She said, 'If you can get him upstairs, Ill bring tea and maybe you can get him to eat some toast.
That seemed a good idea, so I went back into the living room. He still stood exactly where Id left him.
I took his hand and led him to his bedroom. He followed like a child.
Im not sure what Id expected his room to be like but it was just an ordinary room. Bigger than usual, with the crimson-covered bed on a small platform, but, apart from that, it was completely normal. Given its owner, Id expected more. Some artistic statement maybe, or even monastic austerity, but there was nothing to grasp. No clues as to its owners character. Maybe he was afraid to reveal his inmost self. Maybe he didnt know how. Everything was clean and in its proper place, but bleak. Sad. Empty. In my head, I groped for the right word. Desolate. A room of disappointment. A framed photo of his mother stood on a chest of drawers by the window, but though I looked around as discreetly as I could, I couldnt see any of Francesca anywhere. If they had been here, they were gone now.
I sat him on the bed and pulled off his jacket and shoes. His clothes were wet. I said, 'Undress, and went to run the shower. When I came out, he was just pulling his s.h.i.+rt over his head. Apart from that one word, he still hadnt said a thing.
I held the bathroom door open and he walked in. Closing it behind him, I turned down the bed and then picked up his clothes.
Mrs Crisp knocked gently. She pa.s.sed me the tray, I handed her his wet things. She wouldnt come in. This was my job now. I put the tray on the bedside table.
He emerged from the bathroom, rubbing his hair dry and sat on the bed, not looking at me.
I said, 'Mrs Crisp brought you a tray, and turned to walk out. He caught my wrist and seemed to be struggling for words. Welcome to my world.
I said, 'Do you want to talk to me?
He nodded, so I pulled up a chair and sat down.
Nothing was emerging from this promising beginning, so I poured him some tea, sat quietly, and waited. No one knew better than me how tough this was.
He sipped the tea but pushed the toast away. I never thought Id see Russell Checkland reject food.
<script>