Part 12 (1/2)

We emerged some hours later, relaxed and refreshed. I had glossy hair, pretty hands, and a spring in my step. Tanya caught me looking at myself in shop windows and laughed at me. We went to a wine bar, where she rang Russell and gave him permission to join us. And he could bring Andrew if he wanted.

At home that night, Thomas and I talked about things. I had not thought that anyone could regard my marriage to Russell Checkland as a good thing for him. 'Other than the money, of course. Although apparently, Im getting half the house.

'Yes, he said thoughtfully, and stared out of the window for a while.

'And both Andrew and Tanya think Im a good influence.

'Yes, but they dont know you very well yet.

I played with the sheet. 'Do you think ... do you think this marriage might actually be a good thing?

'Im certain of it.

'But why? How?

'I told you Jenny, years ago. Youre special.

Chapter Five.

We were married as quickly and quietly as possible. Aunt Julia made no further objections. She was torn, I think, between wanting to hush things up and not wanting to be seen to hush things up, in case people thought there was something to hush up.

The day before the wedding was cold but sunny. Russell put a halter on Boxer and made me walk with him up the lane on to the moors.

'Itll do you good, he said. 'You need some colour in your cheeks and its not going to do my reputation any good at all if you turn up tomorrow looking like an early Christian martyr. And I certainly dont want your aunt leaping to her feet and stopping the ceremony because youre in too much of a state to say, ”I do”. So get your coat, grab a pair of wellies, and lets be off.

It was a good idea. Once I was out in the fresh air, I felt much better. We strode along with Boxer jumping and shying at monsters hiding in the hedge, sinister puddles, and strangely shaped rocks.

'Why does he do that? I said, as Russell coaxed him past a hostile telegraph pole.

'Well, like Andrew said, hes a bit of a big girls blouse. Hes an ex-racehorse. He led a pampered and luxurious existence until they discovered that although he could go like the wind, it was generally in the wrong direction. He hates horseboxes, crowds, other horses, noise, the rain you name it. He belonged to a friend of mine and both he and I lost rather a lot of money on him. Sadly, failed racehorses get a pretty raw deal, sometimes. Hes gelded so he couldnt be bred from and hes such a basket case no one would want to anyway. He certainly couldnt hunt. He might have been sold privately hes a good-looking horse, but hed most likely have ended in a horsebox somewhere, travelling for sixteen hours without food or water, dragged out at the other end, and turned into dog-food. Or sausages. Or whatever. So I bought him. Usually I ride him up here, but since theres three of us and its a nice day I thought we could walk together. Its all been a bit hectic recently, dont you think?

I nodded. Thomas walked beside me, peering over hedges and generally enjoying himself. I stroked Boxers shoulder, hoping Thomas wouldnt think I was being unfaithful.

'Id like to ride, I said, quietly. I thought no one heard.

We pa.s.sed another farm.

'Thats the Braithwaites place, said Russell, waving to a man crossing the yard with two dogs and a bucket. 'He rents land off me for his sheep.

'Fifty pence each, I said. He looked surprised. 'I pay attention.

He laughed and then it took us five minutes to persuade Boxer through the gate at the top of the lane. Thomas and I skipped through, out onto the open moor, and waited patiently.

'Arent you going to ... let him off the lead?

'No. He has the sense of direction of a tea-bag; Ill be looking for him all night and h.e.l.l probably end up in Tesco on the Rushford by-pa.s.s.

We followed the path along a pretty stream that bubbled over rocks and gravel beds on its way down off the moor and through Russells fields to join the River Rush. There were no trees this high up and the wind was fresh and clear.

'A good tip, said Russell. 'If you ever get lost on the moor, just find water theres plenty up here and follow it down.

'OK, I said, and thought no more about it.

I sat that night in my empty bedroom. Id lived here since I was eighteen and now everything had been packed up and sent off to Frogmorton. My room looked empty and unfamiliar. I wondered what would become of it. My dress hung in the wardrobe; shoes and gloves were on the shelf. Aunt Julias hairdresser was coming at half past nine the next morning.

'How are you feeling? said Thomas.

'A bit strange.

'Are you afraid?

'No. No, he doesnt frighten me at all. Should I be?

' No, I dont think so. I think Tanya hit the nail on the head when she said he was just a little boy who hasnt grown up yet. Well, thats going to change.

'How so?

'He has responsibilities now. Itll be interesting to see how he handles them.

'And Francesca. How will he handle her?

'I thought you discussed this.

'We did. He made it very clear. He was completely honest about it. I thought it seemed a small price to pay for getting a life.

'Are you having second thoughts?

'No, its just pre-wedding nerves. I know what marrying Russell Checkland entails, I said. Wrongly, as it turned out. 'He promised to be discreet. He promised hed never hurt me and I believe him.

'So no regrets, then?

'No.

'So no reason not to get a good nights sleep?

'No.

'Do you remember, said Thomas, 'when we first saw this room? How excited we were?

'I do. That seems a very long time ago now.

' It was a long time ago. Since we met, youve taken your exams; got a degree, and now youre going to be married. Youre all grown-up now, Jenny.

A horrible, cold hand closed around my heart. 'Thomas, are you leaving me?

'No, no. I told you. Im here for as long as you need me and youre going to need me for a while longer.