Part 9 (1/2)

Alex became agitated, trying to fend off the accusation which she foresaw was coming.

”I suppose you learn those horrid slang words from this girl you've taken such a violent fancy to.”

”No, no.”

”Well, darling, both father and I are very much disgusted with some of the tricks you've picked up at the convent, and you'll have to find some way of curin' yourself before you put up your hair and come out. As for the way you're holdin' yourself, I'm simply shocked at it, and so is your father; I shall see about sendin' you to MacPherson's gymnasium for proper exercises as soon as you get back from the country.”

Lady Isabel gazed with dissatisfaction at her daughter.

”You mustn't be a disappointment to us, darling,” she said. ”You know you'll be coming out in another two years' time, and it's so important--”

She broke off, eyeing Alex anxiously. Already she had forgotten the question of the invitation to Queenie Torrance. Alex, in an agony, rushed recklessly at her point.

”But, mother, you haven't said yet--may I ask Queenie on Sat.u.r.day? You know we shan't be here after Sat.u.r.day. May I?”

Lady Isabel moved to the door with more annoyance than she often displayed.

”My dear child, you're old enough to know that these things aren't done, and besides, I've already said no. Father and I dislike these sudden, violent friends.h.i.+ps, in any case. Run along upstairs, my darling, and if you and Barbara want a little tea-party on Sat.u.r.day, you may ask those nice Fitzgerald children. Tell Nurse that I said you might.”

Lady Isabel kissed Alex, and went downstairs, the trailing folds of her evening dress carefully held up in one hand as she descended the broad, curving stairs.

From the upper landing Alex watched her for a few moments, her face burning with mortification and the effort to restrain her tears. Then she broke into sobs and ran away upstairs.

Mother had not understood in the very least. She never understood, never would understand.

No one understood.

Alex felt, as so often, that she would barter everything she possessed for the finding of some one who would understand.

In her craving for self-expression, she talked to Barbara about Queenie Torrance, but represented their intercourse as that of an equal friends.h.i.+p, with unbounded affection and confidence on both sides.

Barbara listened believingly enough, and even exhibited signs of a faint jealousy, and gradually Alex' inventions brought her a slight feeling of comfort, as though the ideal friends.h.i.+p which she so readily described to her little sister must have some real existence.

The old sense of supremacy began to a.s.sert itself again, and Barbara fell into the old ways of following Alex' lead in everything. She lost her shrinking convent manner, born of the sense of helpless insecurity, and when Cedric's return brought Barbara back to her earliest allegiance--the league which she and Cedric had always formed against Alex' overbearing ways in the nursery--her defection was resented by her sister with no lack of spirit.

”Idiotic little copy-cat! Just because Cedric's come, you pretend you only care for cricket and nonsense like that, as though he wanted to play cricket with a little girl like you.”

”He doesn't mind playing cricket with me; he says I can bowl very well for a girl, and it gives him practice. Anyway,” said Barbara shrewdly, ”he likes talking about it, and how am I to be his pal unless I understand what he means?”

”You're not to say that horrid, vulgar word. You know mother would be very angry.”

”I shall say what I like. It's not your business. You're a prig, ever since you went to that hateful convent!”

”You're not to speak to me like that, you're not!” shouted Alex, stamping her foot.

The dispute degenerated into one of the furious quarrels of their nursery days, and Alex, completely mastered by her temper, flew at Barbara, as she had not done since they were seven and ten years old respectively, and hit her and pulled her long curl viciously.

Barbara stood stock-still on the instant. She had infinitely more self-control than Alex, and a strong instinct for being invariably in the right.

But she uttered shriek upon piercing shriek that brought old Nurse, heavy-footed but astonis.h.i.+ngly swift, upon the scene, and reduced Alex to dire disgrace for the rest of the day.

She cried again, suffering remorse and shame that seemed almost unbearable, and told herself hopelessly that she could never be good anywhere.