Volume Ii Part 10 (1/2)

”Egad,” said I, ”it will be the death of _me_ with laughing;” and I shook till my sides ached.

”Does his Excellency know that he is in a Court of Justice?” said Plasterer No. 1.

”Tell him, my dear, that I quite forgot it. I fancied I was at a play, and enjoyed it much.”

I believe Cary did n't translate me honestly, for the old fellow seemed appeased, and the case continued. I could now perceive that my atrocious conduct had evoked a very strong sentiment in the auditory, for there was a great rush forward to get a look at me, and they who were fortunate enough to succeed complimented me by a string of the most abusive and insulting epithets.

My advocate was now called on, and, seeing him rise, I just whispered to Cary, ”Ask the judge if we may see the wound?”

”What does that question mean?” said the chief judge, imperiously.

”Would the prisoner dare to insinuate that the wound has no existence?”

”You've hit it,” said I. ”Tell him, Cary, that's exactly what I mean.”

”Has not the prisoner sworn to his sufferings,” repeated he, ”and the doctor made oath to the treatment?”

”They 're both a pair of lying scoundrels. Tell him so, Cary.”

”You see him now. There is the man himself in his true colors, most ill.u.s.trious and most ornate judges,” exclaimed Giacomo, pointing to me with his finger, as I nearly burst with rage.

”Ah! che diavolo! che demonio infernale!” rang out amidst the waving crowd; and the looks bestowed on me from the bench seemed to give hearty concurrence to the opinion.

Now, Tom, a court of justice, be its locale ever so humble, and its procedure ever so simple, has always struck me as the very finest evidence of homage to civilization. There is something in the fact of men submitting, not only their worldly interests and their characters, but even their very pa.s.sions, to the arbitration of their fellow-men, that is indescribably fine and n.o.ble, and shows--if we even wanted such a proof--that this corrupt nature of ours, in the midst of all its worst influences, has still some of that divine essence within, unsullied and untarnished. And just as I reverence this, do I execrate, with all my heart's indignation, a corrupt judicature. The governments who employ, and the people who tolerate them, are well worthy of each other.

Take all the vices that degrade a nation, ”bray them in a mortar,” and they 'll not eat so deep into the moral feeling of a people as a tainted administration of the law.

You may fancy that, in my pa.s.sionate warmth, I have forgotten all about my individual case: no such thing. I have, however, rescued myself from the danger of an apoplexy by opening this safety-valve to my indignation. And now I cannot resume my narrative. No, Tom, ”I have lost the scent,” and all I can do is to bring you ”in at the death.” I was sentenced to pay seven hundred zwanzigers,--eight-pences,--all the costs of the procedure, the doctor's bill, and the maintenance of Giacomo till his convalescence was completed. I appealed on the spot to an upper court, and the judgment was confirmed! I nearly burst with indignant anger, and asked my advocate if he had ever heard of such iniquity.

He shrugged his shoulders, smiled slightly, and said, ”The law is precarious in all countries.”

”Yes,--but,” said I, ”the judges are not always corrupt. Now, that old president of the first court suggested every answer to the witness--”

”Vincenzio Lamporeccho is a shrewd man--”

”What! How do you call him? Is he anything to our friend Giacomo?”

”He is his father!”

”And the Brigadier who arrested me?”

”Is his brother. The junior judge of the Appeal Court, Luigi Lamporeccho, is his first cousin.”

I did n't ask more questions, Tom. Fancy a country where your butler is brother to the chief baron, and sues you for wages in the Court of Exchequer!

”And you, Signor Mastuccio,” said I. ”I hope I have not exposed you to the vengeance of this powerful family by your zeal in my behalf?”

”Not in the least,” said he; ”my mother was a Lamporeccho herself.”

Now, Tom, I think I need not take any more pains to explain the issue of my lawsuit; and here I'll leave it.

My parting benediction to the Court was brief: ”Goodbye, old gentlemen.

I 'm glad you have the Austrians here to bully you; and not sorry that _you_ are here to a.s.sa.s.sinate _them_.” This speech was overheard by some learned linguist in court, and on the same evening I received an intimation to quit the Imperial dominions within twenty-four hours.