Volume Ii Part 8 (2/2)
”His Excellency paid, at least, the double in London,” said he, bowing.
”That's not the question. We are in Lombardy,--a land where the price of everything is of the cheapest. How comes it, then, that we are maintaining our house at greater cost than even Paris would require?”
With a volubility that I can make no pretension to follow, the fellow ran over the prices of bread, meat, fowls, and fish, showing that they were for half their cost elsewhere; that his Excellency's table was actually a mean one; that sea-fish from Venice, and ortolans, seldom figured at it above once or twice a week; that it was rare to see a second flask of champagne opened at dinner; that our Bordeaux was bad, and our Burgundy bitter; in short, he thought his Excellency had come expressly for economy, as great ”milors” will occasionally do, and that if so, he must have had ample reason to be satisfied with the experiment.
Though every sentiment the fellow uttered was an impertinence, he bowed and smiled, and demeaned himself with such an air of humility throughout, that I stood puzzled between the matter and the manner of his address. Meanwhile he was not idle, but running over with glib volubility the names of all the ”ill.u.s.trissimi Inglesi” he had been cheating and robbing for a dozen years back. To nail him to the fact of the difference between the cost of the article and the gross sum expended, was downright impossible, though he clearly gave to understand that any inquiry into the matter showed his Excellency to be the shabbiest of men,--mean, grasping, and avaricious, and, in fact, very likely to be no ”milor” at all, but some poor pretender to rank and station.
I felt myself waxing wroth with a weak frame,--about as unpleasant a situation as can be fancied; for let me observe to you, Tom, that the brawny proportions of Signor Lamporeccho would not have prevented my trying conclusion with him, had I been what you last saw me; but, alas!
the Italian doctor had bled me down so low that I was not even a match for one of his countrymen. I was therefore obliged to inform my friend that, being alone with him, and our interview having taken the form of a privileged communication, he was a thief and a robber!
The words were not uttered, when he drew a long and glistening knife from behind his back, under his coat, and made a rush at me. I seized the b.u.t.t-end of James's fis.h.i.+ng-rod,--fortunately beside me,--and held him at bay, shouting wildly, ”Murder!” all the while. The room was filled in an instant; Tiverton and the girls, followed by all the servants and several peasants, rus.h.i.+ng in pell-mell. Before, however, I could speak, for I was almost choked with pa.s.sion, Signor Giacomo had gained Lord George's ear, and evidently made him his partisan.
Tiverton cleared the room as fast as he could, mumbling out something to the girls that seemed to satisfy them and allay their fears, and then, closing the door, took his seat beside me.
”It will not signify,” said he to me, in a kind voice; ”the thing is only a scratch, and will be well in a day or two.”
”What do you mean?” said I.
”Egad! you'll have to be cautious, though,” said he, laughing. ”It was in a very awkward place; and that too is n't the handiest for minute anatomy.”
”Do you want to drive me mad, my Lord; for, if not, Just take the trouble to explain yourself.”
”Pooh, pooh!” said he; ”don't fuss yourself about nothing. I understand how to deal with these fellows. You 'll see, five-and-twenty Naps, will set it all right.”
”I see,” said I, ”your intention is to outrage me; and I beg that I may be left alone.”
”Come, don't be angry with me, Dodd,” cried he, in one of his good-tempered, coaxing ways. ”I know well you 'd never have done it--”
”Done what,--done what?” screamed I, in an agony of rage.
He made a gesture with the fis.h.i.+ng-rod, and burst out a-laughing for reply.
”Do you mean that I stuck that scoundrel that has just gone out?” cried I.
”And no great harm, either!” said he.
”Do you mean that I stuck him?--answer me that.”
”Well, I 'd be just as much pleased if you had not,” said he; ”for, though they are always punching holes into each other, they don't like an Englishman to do it. Still, keep quiet, and I 'll set it all straight before to-morrow. The doctor shall give a certificate, setting forth mental excitement, and so forth. We 'll show that you are not quite responsible for your actions just now.”
”Egad, you 'll have a proof of your theory, if you go on much longer at this rate,” said I, grinding my teeth with pa.s.sion.
”And then we 'll get up a provocation of some kind or other. Of course, the thing will cost money,--that can't be helped; but we'll try to escape imprisonment.”
”Send Cary to me,--send my daughter here!” said I, for I was growing weak.
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