Volume Ii Part 4 (1/2)
”Where to,--what for?” cried he.
”I think you might guess,” said I, with a sneer; ”but if not, perhaps that hussy with the spotted gingham could aid you to the explanation.”
He was so overwhelmed at my discovering this, Molly, that he was speechless; not a word,--not a syllable could he utter. He sat down on a stone, and wiped his head with a handkerchief.
”Don't make me ill, Mrs. D.,” said he, at last. ”I 've a notion that the gout is threatening me.”
”If that's all, K. I.,” said I, ”it's well for you,--it's well if it is not worse than the gout. Ay, get red in the face,--be as pa.s.sionate as you please, but you shall hear the truth from me, at least; I mayn't be long here to tell it. Sufferings such as I 've gone through will do their work at last; but I 'll fulfil my duty to my family till I 'm released--” With that I gave it to him, till we arrived at Coire, eighteen miles, and a good part of it up hill, and you may think what that was. At all events, Molly, he did n't come off with flying colors, for when we reached a place called Splgen he was seized with the gout in earnest I only wish you saw the hole he pitched upon to be laid up in; but it's like everything else the man does. Every trait of his character shows that he has n't a thought, nor a notion, but about his own comforts and his own enjoyments. And I told him so. I said to him, ”Don't think that your self-indulgence and indolence go down with _me_ for easiness of temper: that's an imposture may do very well for the _world_, but your wife can't be taken in by it.” In a word, Molly, I didn't spare him; and as his attack was a sharp one, I think it's likely he does n't look back to the Splgen with any very grateful reminiscences.
Little I thought, all the time, what good cause I had for my complaints, nor what was in store for me in the very middle of the snow! You must know that we had to take the wheels off the carriage and put it on something like a pair of big skates, for the snow was mountains high, and as soft as an egg-pudding. You may think what floundering we had through it for twelve hours, sometimes sinking up to the chin, now swimming, now digging, and now again being dragged out of it by ropes, till we came to what they call the ”Refuge-house;” a pretty refuge, indeed, with no door, and scarcely a window, and everybody--guides, postboys, diggers, and travellers--all hickledy-pickledy inside! There we were, my dear, without a bed, or even a mattress, and nothing to eat but a bottle of Sir Robert Peel's sauce, that K. I. had in his trunk, with a case of eau-de-Cologne to wash it down. Fortunately for me my feelings got the better of me, and I sobbed and screeched myself to rest. When I awoke in the morning, I heard from Mary Anne that another family, and English too, were in the refuge with us, and, to all appearance, not ill-supplied with the necessaries of life. This much I perceived myself, for the courier lit a big fire on the hearth, and laid a little table beside it, as neat and comfortable as could be. After that he brought out a coffee-pot and boiled the coffee, and made a plate of toast, and fried a dish of ham-rashers and eggs. The very fizzing of them on the fire, Molly, nearly overcame me! But that wasn't all; but he put down on the table a case of sardines and a gla.s.s bowl of beautiful honey, just as if he wanted to make my suffering unbearable. It was all I could do to stand it. At last, when he had everything ready, he went to a door at the end of the room and knocked. Something was said inside that I didn't catch, but he answered quickly, ”Oui, Madame,” and a minute after out they walked. Oh, Molly, there 's not words in the language to express even half of my feelings at that moment. Indeed, for a minute or two I would n't credit my senses, but thought it was an optical confusion. In she flounced, my dear, just as if she was walking into the Court of St. James's, with one arm within his, and the other hand gracefully holding up her dress, and _he_, with a gla.s.s stuck in his eye, gave us a look as he pa.s.sed just as if we were the people of the place.
Down they sat in all state, smiling at each other, and settling their napkins as coolly as if they were at the Clarendon. ”Will you try a rasher, my dear?” ”Thanks, love; I'll trouble you.” It was ”love” and ”dear” every word with them; and such looks as pa.s.sed, Molly, I am ashamed even to think of it! Heaven knows I never looked that way at K.
I. There I sat watching them; for worlds I could n't take my eyes away; and though Mary Anne whispered and implored, and even tried to force me, I was chained to the spot. To be sure, it's little they minded me! They talked away about Lady Sarah This and Sir Joseph That; wondered if the Marquis had gone down to Scotland, and whether the d.u.c.h.ess would meet them at Milan. As I told you before, Molly, I was n't quite sure my eyes did n't betray me, and while I was thus struggling with my doubts, in came K. I. ”I was over the whole place, Jemi,” said he, ”and there 's not a sc.r.a.p of victuals to be had for love or money. They say, however, that there 's an English family--” When he got that far, he stopped short, for his eyes just fell on the pair at breakfast.
”May I never, Mrs. D.,” said he, ”but that's our friend Mrs. G. H. As sure as I'm here, that's herself and no other.”
”And of course quite a surprise to you,” said I, with a look, Molly, that went through him.
”Faith, I suppose so,” said he, trying to laugh. ”I wasn't exactly thinking of her at this moment. At all events, the meeting is fortunate; for one might die of hunger here.”
I need n't tell you, Molly, that I 'd rather endure the trials of Tartary than I 'd touch a morsel belonging to her; but before I could say so, up he goes to the table, bowing, and smiling, and smirking in a way that I 'm sure he thought quite irresistible. She, however, never looked up from her teacup, but her companion stuck his gla.s.s in his eye, and stared impudently without speaking.
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”If I 'm not greatly mistaken,” said K. I., ”I have the honor and the happiness to see before me--”
”Mistake,--quite a mistake, my good man. Au! au!” said the other, cutting him short. ”Never saw you before in my life!”
”Nor are _you_, sir, the object of my recognition. It is this lady,--Mrs. Gore Hampton.”
She lifted her head at this, and stared at K. I. as coldly as if he was a wax image in a hairdresser's window.
”Don't you remember me, ma'am?” says he, in a soft voice; ”or must I tell you my name?”
”I'm afraid even that, sir, would not suffice,” said she, with a most insulting smile of compa.s.sion.
”Ain't you Mrs. Gore Hampton, ma'am?” asked he, trembling all over between pa.s.sion and astonishment.
”Pray, do send him away, Augustus,” said she, sipping her tea.
”Don't you perceive, sir--eh, au--don't you see--that it's a au--au, eh--a misconception--a kind of a demned blunder?”
”I tell you what I see, sir,” said K. I,--”I see a lady that travelled day and night in my company, and with no other companion too, for two hundred and seventy miles; that lived in the same hotel, dined at the same table, and, what's more--”
But I could n't bear it any longer, Molly. Human nature is not strong enough for trials like this,--to hear him boasting before my face of his base behavior, and to see her sitting coolly by listening to it. I gave a screech that made the house ring, and went off in the strongest fit of screaming ever I took in my life. I tore my cap to tatters, and pulled down my hair,--and, indeed, if what they say be true, my sufferings must have been dreadful; for I didn't leave a bit of whisker on one of the guides, and held another by the cheek till he was nigh insensible. I was four hours coming to myself; but many of the others were n't in a much better state when it was all over. The girls were completely overcome, and K. I. taken with spasms, that drew him up like a football. Meanwhile _she_ and her friend were off; never till the last minute as much as saying one word to any of us, but going away, as I may say, with colors flying, and all the ”horrors of war.”
Oh, Molly, was n't that more than mere human fragility is required to bear, not to speak of the starvation and misery in my weak state? Black bread and onions, that was our dinner, washed down with the sourest vinegar, called wine forsooth, I ever tasted. And that's the way we crossed the Alps, my dear, and them the pleasures that accompanied us into the beautiful South.