Volume I Part 48 (2/2)
It was, as you may imagine, far too pretty for a man's wear, and I resolved to profit by the occasion, to appropriate, or, as the Americans say, to ”annex” it to my own possessions. I had just fastened it in the front of my dress, when the handle of the door turned, and--oh, Kitty!
conceive my agony as I heard James's voice speaking from without! It was, therefore, not _his_ chamber where I was standing, nor could the sleeper be _he!_ Escape and concealment were my first thought, and I sprang behind a screen at the very moment the door opened. Should I live a hundred years, I shall never cease to remember the intense misery of that moment. You need only picture my situation to your own mind, to see how distressing it must have been. The certainty of being discovered if I made the slightest noise saved me from fainting, but I almost fancied that the loud beating of my heart might have betrayed me.
James came in without any peculiar deference for the sleeper's nerves, and, upsetting a chair or two, stumbled across the room towards the bed, on which he seated himself, calling out ”George--Tiverton--old fellow!
don't you mean to get up at all to-day?”
[Ill.u.s.tration: a028]
Oh, Kitty! fancy my trembling tenor as I heard that I was in the chamber of Lord George Tiverton. The very utmost I could do was to refrain from a scream; nor do I now know how I succeeded in repressing it.
It was not till after repeated efforts that James succeeded in awaking his friend, who at length, with a long-drawn sigh, exclaimed, ”By Jove, Jemmy! I'm glad you routed me up. I 've had a horrid dream. Only think, I imagined that I was still in the House of Lords listening to that confounded case! I fancied that Scratchley was addressing their Lords.h.i.+ps in reply, and pledging himself to show that gross neglect, and even cruelty, could be proved against me. The old scoundrel's harsh voice is still ringing in my ears, and I hear him tearing me to very tatters!”
”Was there anything of that sort?” said James, as he struck a light to his cigar and began smoking.
”Why, I must say, he was _not_ complimentary. These fellows, you are aware, have a vocabulary of their own, and when setting up a defence for a pretty woman, married at seventeen, they pitch into one's little frailties at a very cruel rate. Not exactly that the narrative is very detrimental to a man's future prospects; what really damages you is what they call cruelty, and your wife's maid--particularly if she be a Frenchwoman--can always prove this.”
”Indeed!” exclaimed James, in some astonishment.
”To be sure she can. Why, everything that thwarts her mistress in anything--good, bad, or indifferent--is cruelty in the French sense.
You are rather given to fast acquaintances; you bring home with you to supper, some three or four times a week, detachments of that respectable company one meets at Tattersall's Yard, or in the Turf Club; chicken hazard and the _coulisses_ of the opera are amongst your weaknesses; you have a taste for sport, and would rather take the odds against the favorite than lay out your spare cash at Howell and James's. That 's cruelty! When regularly done up in town, you make a bolt for Boulogne, or rush down to your shooting-box in the Highlands. That 's more cruelty, and neglect besides! Terribly pressed for money, you try to bully your wife's uncle, one of the trustees to her settlement, and threaten to kick him downstairs. Gross cruelty! Harder up again, you pledge her diamonds. Shocking cruelty! Cleared out and sold up, you suggest the propriety of her sending away the French maid, and travelling up to Paris alone. That's monstrous cruelty! And, in fact, all together establish a clear justification for anything that may befall you. Besides this, Jemmy, if you marry a girl of good family, she is sure to have either a father, an uncle, or a brother, or perhaps some three or four cousins in the Lords; now, whatever comes off, they oppose your bill, and as their Lords.h.i.+ps only want to hear your story, to listen to the piquant narrative of domestic differences and conjugal jarrings, n.o.body cares a straw whether you succeed or not. Give me a light, Jim.”
They both continued to puff their cigars for some time in silence, during which my sufferings rose to absolute torture; for, in addition to the shocking circ.u.mstances of my own situation, was now the fact of my having overheard a most private conversation.
”So they threw out your bill?” asked James, after a pause.
”Deferred judgment!” replied the other, puffing, ”which comes to pretty nigh the same thing. Asked for further evidence, explanations, what not!
Cursed cigars! don't draw at all.”
”They 're Bollard's best Havannahs.”
”Well, perhaps I've been unlucky in my choice; if so, it's not the first time, Jem;” and he laughed heartily at the notion. ”I say, take care and don't say anything about this affair of mine.”
”But it will be in all the papers. The 'Times' will give it to-morrow or next day.”
”Not a bit of it,--had a private hearing, old fellow. Too many good names compromised to have the thing made town talk,--you understand.”
”Ah, that's it!” said James.
”Yes, It 's one of the few privileges remaining to what Lord Grey calls 'our order,' except, perhaps, the judgments of the London magistrates.
To do _them_ justice, the fellows do know what a lord is, and 'they act accordingly.' There, it's out at last,”--and he threw away his cigar,--”and I suppose I may as well think of getting up. Just draw that curtain, Jem, and open the shutter.”
Oh, Kitty dearest, can you form to yourself any idea of my situation!
James had already risen from the bedside, and was groping his way to the window. Another moment, and the flood of light would pour into the room and inevitably discover me. My agitation almost choked me; it was like a sense of drowning, and at the same time accompanied by the terrible thought that I must not dare to cry for succor. James was busy with the b.u.t.ton of the window-fastening,--another instant and it would be too late,--and with the energy of utter despair I sprang from behind the screen, and then, pus.h.i.+ng it with all my force, upset it over the toilet-table, the whole tumbling against James with a horrid crash, and laying him prostrate beneath the ruins. I dashed from the room with the speed of lightning; I know not how I flew along the gallery, up the stairs, and gained my own chamber, but, as I turned the key inside, all consciousness left me, and I fell fainting on the floor. The noise of many footsteps on the corridor outside, and the sound of voices, aroused me. The fragments I could collect showed me that all were discussing the late catastrophe, and none able to explain it. Oh, Kitty, what a gush of delight rushed through me to hear that I had escaped unseen, unknown, unsuspected!
The general voice attributed the accident to James's awkwardness, and I could perceive that he had not escaped without some bruises.
It was a long time, too, ere I could turn my thoughts from my late peril to think of the strange revelation I had been witness to; nor was it without a certain shock to my feelings that I learned Lord George was married. His attentions to me were certainly particular, Kitty. No girl, with any knowledge of life, makes any mistake on the subject, because, if she entertains a doubt, she knows how at once to resolve it, by tests as unerring as those a chemist employs to discover a.r.s.enic.
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