Volume I Part 47 (1/2)
”Hadn't you better give some directions about your trunks, papa?” said she to me.
And thus recalled to myself, I hastened to follow the advice. Faddy, as is customary with him at any great emergency, was drunk, and, with the usual consequence, engaged in active conflict with the rest of the servants' hall. As for James, I sought for him everywhere in vain, but at last learned that he was seen to saddle and bridle a horse for himself about half an hour before, which done, he mounted and rode off at speed towards the forest, which direction, it appeared, the young Baron! had taken some time before. I should have felt uncommonly uneasy for the result had they not a.s.sured me that there was not the very slightest chance of his overtaking the fugitive.
Morris told me, too, that the old steward had been turned out of doors already, so that we had at least the satisfaction of a very heavy vengeance. The Count never ceased to show us every attention in his power; and, so far as politeness and good manners could atone to us, everything was done that could be imagined. With Morris's aid I got my things together, and before daybreak the carriage stood fully loaded at the door. There was, it is true, ”an awful sacrifice” exacted by this hurried packing; and the frail finery of the trousseau found but scanty tenderness, as it was bundled up into valises and even carpet-bags!
However, I was determined to march, even at the loss of all my baggage, if necessary!
While these active operations went forward, Mrs. D. ”improved the occasion” by some sharp attacks of hysterics, which providentially ended in a loss of voice at last; and thus a happy calm was permitted us, in which to take a slight breakfast before starting.
If I call it slight, Tom, it was not with reference to the preparations, which were really on the most sumptuous scale, and all laid out in the large dinner-room with great taste. The Count had told Morris that if his presence might not be thought intrusive, he would feel it a great honor to be permitted to pay his respects to the ladies; and when I mentioned this to Mary Anne, to my no small astonishment she replied, ”Oh, with pleasure! I really think we owe it to him for all his attentions.” Ay! Tom, and what is more, down came my wife, who had pa.s.sed the night in screaming and sobbing, looking all smiles and blandnesses, leaning on Mary Anne, who, by the way, had dressed herself in the most becoming fas.h.i.+on, and seemed quite bent on a conquest. Oh, these woman, these women!--read them if you can, Tom Purcell! for, upon my conscience, they are far above the humble intelligence of your friend K. I.
I don't think you 'd believe me if I was to give you an account of that same breakfast. If ever there was an incident calculated to overwhelm with shame and confusion, it was precisely that which had just occurred to us. It was not possible to conceive a situation more painful than we were placed in; and with all that, I vow and declare that, except Morris and myself, none seemed to feel it. Mrs. D. ate and drank, and bowed and smiled and gesticulated, and ogled the Count to her heart's content; and Mary Anne chatted and laughed with him in all the ease of intimate acquaintances.h.i.+p; and as he evidently was struck by her beauty, she appeared to accept the homage of his admiration as a very satisfactory compliment. As for me, I tried to behave with the same good breeding as the others, but it was no use!--every mouthful I ate almost choked me; every time I attempted to be jocose, I broke down, with a lamentable failure. Rage, shame, and indignation were all at work within me; and even the ease and indifference displayed by the womenkind increased my sense of humiliation. It might very probably have been far less well-mannered and genteel; but I tell you frankly, I 'd have been better pleased with them both if they had cried heartily, and made no secret of their suffering. I half suspect Morris was of the same mind too; for he could not keep his eyes off them, and evidently in profound astonishment. But for him, indeed, I don't know how I should have got through that morning, for Mrs. D. and her daughter were far too intent upon fresh conquests to waste a thought on recent defeats, and it was evident that Count Adelberg was received by them both with all the credit due to the ”real article.” This threw me completely on Morris for all counsel and guidance; and I must say he behaved admirably, making all the arrangements for our departure with a ready prompt.i.tude that showed old habits of discipline.
In the Count's _calche_ there was no room for servants; but our own was to follow with them and the baggage, and also bring up James,--all of which details M. was to look after, as well as the care of forwarding to me any letters that might arrive after I was gone.
It was nigh eight o'clock before we started, though breakfast was over a little after six; and, indeed, when all was ready, horses harnessed, and postilions in the saddle, the Count insisted on the ”ladies” ascending the great watch-tower of the castle to see the sun rise. He a.s.sured them people came from all parts of the world for that view, which was considered one of the finest in Europe; and in proof of his a.s.sertion pointed to a long string of inscriptions on marble tablets in the wall.
Here it was the Kur Furst of this; and there the Landgravine of that.
Dukes, archdukes, and field-marshals figured in the catalogue, and amidst the ill.u.s.trious of foreign lands a distinguished place was occupied by Milor Stubbs, who made the ascent on a day in the year recorded. That Mrs. Dodd and Mary Anne are destined to a like immortality, I have no doubt whatever.
At last we got into the carriage, but not until the Count had saluted me on both cheeks, and embraced me tenderly in stage fas.h.i.+on; he kissed Mrs. D.'s hand, and Mary Anne's also, with such a touching devotion that, for the first time during that memorable morning, they both wiped their eyes. The sight of Morris, however, seemed to recall them to the sober realities of life; they shook hands with him, and away we went at that tearing gallop which, though very little more than six miles an hour, has all the apparent speed and the real peril of a special train.
”Where's my fur cloak? Is my m.u.f.f put in? I don't see the gray shawl.
Mary Anne, what has become of the rug? I 'm certain half our things are left behind. How could it be otherwise, seeing the absurd haste in which we came away!” These are a few specimens of Mrs. D.'s lucubrations, given _per saltum_ as we b.u.mped through the deep ruts of the road, and will explain, as well as a chapter on the subject, the train in which her thoughts were proceeding.
Ay, Tom! for all the disgrace and ignominy of that miserable night and morning, she had no other sentiment of sorrow than for the absurd haste in which we came away. I had firmly determined not to recur to this unpleasant affair, and to let it sleep amongst the archives of similar disagreeable reminiscences, but this provocation was really too strong for me! Were they women?--were they human beings, and could reason this way?--were the questions that struggled for an answer within me! I tried to repress the temptation, but I could not, and so I resolved, if I could do no more, at least to discipline my emotions, and hold them within certain limits. I waited till we were out of the grounds,--I delayed till we were some miles on the high-road,--and then, with a voice subdued to a mere whisper, and in a manner that vouched for the most complete subjection, said,--
”Mrs. Dodd, may I be permitted to inquire--and I premise that the object of my question is neither any personal nor a mere vulgar curiosity, but simply to investigate what might be termed a physiological fact, namely, whether females really feel less than the males of the human species?”
My dear Tom, the calm tone of my exordium availed me nothing. To no end was it that I propounded the purely scientific basis of my investigation. She flew at me at once like a tigress. The abstract question that I had submitted for discussion she flung indignantly to the winds, and boldly asked me if I thought ”to escape that way.”
”Escape ”--that way! I was thunderstruck, stupefied, dumfoundered!
Did the woman want to infer--could she by any diabolical ingenuity or perverseness imply--that I was possibly to blame for our late calamity? You 'll not credit it; n.o.body could, but it is the truth, notwithstanding. _That_ was exactly the charge she now preferred against me. If I bad taken proper steps to investigate the ”Baron's” real pretensions,--if _I_ had made due and fitting inquiries about him,--if _I_ had been commonly intelligent, and displayed the most ordinary knowledge of the world,--in fact, if, instead of being a bull-headed, blundering old Irish country gentleman, I had been a cross between a foreign prefect and a London detective, the chances were that we had been spared the mortification of exhibiting ourselves as endeavoring to dupe people who were already successfully engaged in duping us! This wasn't all, Tom, but she boldly propounded the startling declaration that she and Mary Anne both had suspected the Baron to be an imposition and a cheat! and although his low manners and vulgar tone imposed upon _me_, they had always regarded him as shockingly underbred! It was _I_, however, who had rushed into the whole misadventure,--it was _I_ concocted the entire scheme,--_I_ planned the visit,--_I_ made up the match. My stupid cupidity, my blundering anxiety for a grand alliance, were the causes of all the evil! The mock munificence of my settlements was hurled at me as proof positive of the eagerness of my duplicity, and I was overwhelmed with a ma.s.s of accusations which I verily believe would have obtained a verdict against me at the hands of any honest and impartial jury of my countrymen.
I have more than once had to acknowledge, that when perfectly a.s.sured in my own conscience of my innocence, Mrs. D. has contrived to shake my doubts about myself, and at last succeeded in making me believe that I might have been culpable without knowing it. I suppose in these cases I may have been morally innocent and legally guilty, but I 'll not puzzle my head by any subtlety of explanation; enough if I own that a less enviable predicament no man need covet!
I sat under this new allegation sad, silent, and abashed; and although Mary Anne said but little, yet her occasional ”You must admit, papa,”
”You will surely acknowledge,” or ”You cannot possibly forget,” chimed in, and swelled the full chorus of accusation against me. If I said nothing, I thought the more. My reflections took this shape: Here is another blessed fruit of our coming abroad. Such an incident never could have befallen us at home. Why, then, should we continue to live on exposed to similar casualties?
Why reside in a land where we cannot distinguish the man of rank from his scullion, and where all the forms that const.i.tute good breeding and, maybe, good grammar, are quite beyond our appreciation? Every dilettante scribbler for the magazines who sketches his rambles in Spain or Switzerland, grows jocose over some eccentricity or absurdity of his countrymen. Their blunders in language, dress, or demeanor are duly chronicled and relied upon as subjects for a droll chapter; but let me tell you, Tom, that the difficulties of foreign residence are very considerable indeed, and, except to the man who issues from England with a certain well-proved and admitted station, social or political, the society into which he may be thrown is a downright lottery. The first error he commits, and it is almost inevitable, is to mistake the common forms of hat-lifting and bowing for acquaintances.h.i.+p. ”Bull” thinks that the gentleman desires to know him, and obligingly condescends to accept his overtures. The foreigner, somewhat amused to see the veriest commonplace of politeness received as evidence of acquaintance, profits by the admission, chats, and comes to tea. Now, Tom, whether it be cheap soup, cheap clothing, cheap travelling, or cheap friends.h.i.+p, I have a strong prejudice against them all. My notion is that the real article is not to be had without some cost and trouble.
These were some of my ruminations as we rattled along; and although the road was interesting, and the day a fine bracing autumnal one, my mind was not attuned to pleasure or enjoyment We stopped to bait at Donaueschingen, for we were obliged, by some accident or other, to take the same horses on, and found a most comfortable little inn at the sign of the ”Sharpshooter.” After dinner we took a stroll in the garden of the palace of the mediatized Prince of Furstenberg; for, of course, there is a palace and a mediatized prince wherever there is a town of three thousand inhabitants throughout Germany. By the way, Napoleon treated these people pretty much like our own Enc.u.mbered Estates Court at home. He sold them out without any ceremony, and got rid of the feudal privileges and the seignorial rights with a bang of the auctioneer's hammer. Of course, as with us, there was often a great deal of individual hards.h.i.+p, but these little princ.i.p.alities were large evils, and half the disturbances of Europe grew out of their corrupt administration.
There is, I often fancy, a natural instinctive kind of corruption incidental to the dominion of a small state. They are too small and too insignificant to attract any attention from the world without, and within their own narrow limits there is no such thing as a public opinion. The ruler, consequently, is free to follow the caprices of his folly, his cruelty, or his wastefulness. He has neither to dread a parliament nor a newspaper. If he send his small contingent--a commander-in-chief and a drummer of great experience--to the great army of the Confederation he belongs to, he may tax his subjects, or hang them, to his heart's content! Now, I cannot imagine a worse state of things than this, nor any more likely to foster that spirit of discontent which every hour is adding to the feeling of the Continent.
While I am following this theme, I am forgetting what was uppermost a few minutes back in my mind. In the garden of the same palace, which belongs to a certain fount Furstenberg, there is a singularly beautiful little spring; it bubbles up amidst flowers and gra.s.s, and overruns the greensward in many a limpid streamlet. There is something in the unadorned simplicity of this tiny well, rippling through the yellow daffodils and ”starry river buds,” wonderfully pleasing; but what an interest fills the mind as we hear that this is the source of the Danube! ”The mighty river that sweeps along through the rocky gorges of Upper Austria, washes the foundations of the Imperial Vienna, and flows on, ever swelling and widening and deepening, to the Black Sea,--that giant stream, so romantic in its a.s.sociations with the touching tale of our own Richard,--so picturesque in its windings, so teeming with interest to the poet, the painter, the merchant, and the politician, there it is, a little crystal rivulet, whose destiny might well seem limited to the flowery borders, and blossoming beds around it.” This isn't mine, Tom, though it's exactly what I would have said if the words occurred to me, but I copy it out of the Visitors' Book, where strangers write their names, and, so to say, leave their cards upon the infant Danube.
Truisms are only tiresome to the hearer; they are a delightful recreation to the man that tells them, so that I am sorely tempted to mention some of those that suggested themselves to my mind as I stood beside that little spring,--all the a.n.a.logies that at once arose to my fancy, between human life and the course of a mighty river, between the turnings and twinings and aberrations of childhood, the headlong current of youth, the mature force of manhood, and the trackless issue, at last, into the great ocean of eternity! One lesson we may a.s.suredly gather from the contemplation: not to predicate from small beginnings against the likelihood of a glorious future!
I left the place regretfully; the tranquil quietude of my two hours'
ramble through the garden restored me to a serene and peaceful frame of mind. The little village itself, the tidy, unpretending inn, clean, comfortable, and a model of cheapness, were all to my fancy, and I could very well have liked to linger on there for a week or so. After all, what a commentary is it upon all pursuits of pleasure and amus.e.m.e.nt, to think that we really find our greatest happiness in those little, out-of-the-way, isolated spots, remote from all the attractions and blandishments of the gay world! I don't mean to say that Mrs. D. quite concurred with me, for she grew very impatient at my delay, and wondered excessively ”what peculiar attraction the garden of the palace might have possessed, to make me forget myself.” But it's not so easy a thing to do as she thinks! Forgetting oneself, Tom, implies so many other oblivions. It means forgetting one's tenants that have been over-rented, one's banker overdrawn, one's horses overworked, one's house out of repair, one's estate out at elbows; forgetting the duns that torment, the creditors that torture you,--the lat.i.tats, the writs, the mortgages, the bonds,--all the inflictions, in fact, consequent to parchment, signed, sealed, and delivered over to your persecuting angel! Oh dear, oh dear! what a thirsty swig would I take of Lethe if I could! and how happy would I be to start fresh in life without any one of the ”liabilities,” as they call them, that attach to Kenny Dodd!