Volume I Part 9 (1/2)
There's nothing distresses me in it all but the Polka, Molly. I can't learn it. I always slide when I ought to hop, and where there 's a hop I duck down in spite of me! And whether it's the native purity of an Irishwoman, or that I never was reared to it, I can't say; but the notion of a man's arm round me keeps me in a flutter, and I 'm always looking about to see how K. I. bears it. I suppose, however, I 'll get through it well enough, for Lord George is to be my partner; and as I know K. I.'s ”safe,” my mind is more easy.
Perhaps it's the shortness of the invitation, but there's a great many apologies coming in. The English Amba.s.sador won't come. Lord G. says it's all the better, for the Tories are going out, and it will be a great service to K. I. with the Whigs if it's thought he did n't invite him! This may be true, but it's no reason in life for the Austrian, the French, the Prussian, and the Spanish Ministers sending excuses.
Lord George, however, thinks it's the terrible state of the Continent explains it all, and the Despotic Powers are so angry with Lord Dudley Stuart and Roebuck that they like to insult the Englis.h.!.+ If it be so, they haven't common-sense. Kenny James has taken a turn with all their parties, and much good it has done him!
Lord G. and Mary Anne are in high spirits, notwithstanding these disappointments, for ”the Margravine” is coming,--at least, so he tells me; but whether the Margravine be a man or woman, Molly, or only something to eat, I don't rightly know, and I 'm ashamed to ask.
I have just been greatly provoked by a visit from Captain Morris, who called twice this morning, and at last insisted on seeing me. He came to entreat me, he says, ”if not to abandon, at least to put off, our ball till Mr. Dodd's return.” I tried to browbeat him, Molly, for his impertinent interference, but it would n't do; and he showed me that he knew perfectly well where K. I. was,--a piece of information that, of course, he obtained from Caroline. Oh, Molly dear, when one's own flesh and blood turns against them,--when children forget all the lessons you 've been teaching them from infancy,--it's a sore, sore trial! Not but I have reason to be thankful. Mary Anne and James are like part of myself; nothing mean or little-minded about _them_, but fine, generous, confiding creatures,--happy for to-day, hopeful for to-morrow!
When I mentioned to Lord G. what Morris came about, he only laughed, and said, ”It was a clever dodge of the half-pay,--he wanted an invitation;”
and I see now that such must have been his object. The more one sees of mankind, the greater appears their meanness; and in my heart I feel how unsuited guileless, simple-hearted creatures like myself are to combat against the stratagems and ambuscades of this wicked world. Not that little Morris will gain much by his morning's work, for Mary Anne says that Lord George will never suffer him to get on full pay as long as he lives. ”A friend in need is a friend indeed,” Molly, more particularly when he's a lord.
The Margravine is a princess, Molly. I 've just found it out; for James is to receive her at the foot of the stairs, Mary Anne and myself on the lobby. Lord G. says she must have whist at half-”Nap.” points, and always play with her own ”Gentleman-in-Waiting.” She never goes out on any other conditions. But he says, ”She 's cheap even at that price, for an occasion like the present;” and maybe he's right.
No more now, for my gown is come to be tried on.
Dear Molly, I'll try and finish this, since, maybe, it's the last lines you 'll ever receive from your attached friend. Three days have elapsed since I put my hand to paper, and three such days, I 'll be bound, no human creature ever pa.s.sed. Out of one fit of hysterics into another, and taking the strongest stimulants, with no more effect than if they were water! My screeches, I am told, were dreadful, and there 's scarcely one of the family can't show the mark of my nails; and this is what K. I. has brought me to. _You_ know well what I used to suffer from him at Dodsborough, and the terrible scenes we always had when the Christmas bills came in; but it's all nothing, Molly, to what has happened here. But as my Uncle Joe said, no good ever came out of a ”mess-alliance.”
My moments are few so I 'll be brief. The ball was beautiful, Molly; there never was the like of it for elegance and splendor! For great names, rank, fas.h.i.+on, beauty, and jewels, it was, they tell me, far beyond the Court, because we had a great many people who, from political reasons, refuse to go to Leopold, but who had no prejudices against your humble servant; for, strange enough, they have Orangemen here as well as in Ireland! Princes, dukes, counts, and generals came pouring in, all s.h.i.+ning with stars and crosses, blue and red ribbons, and keys worked on their coat-tails, till nearly twelve o'clock. There were, then, nigh seven hundred souls in the house, eating, dancing, drinking, and enjoying themselves; and a beautiful sight it was: everybody happy, and thinking only of pleasure. Mary Anne looked elegant, and many remarked that we must be sisters. Oh dear, if they only saw me now!
There was a mazurka that lasted till half-past one, for it's a dance that everybody must take out each in turn, and you 'd fancy there was no end to it, for, indeed, they never do seem tired of embracing and holding each other round the waist; but Lord George came to say that the Margravine had finished her whist and wanted her supper, so down we must go at once.
James was to take her Supreme Highness, and the Prince of Dammiseisen--a name that always made me laugh--was to take me; but he is a great man in Germany, and had a kingdom of his own till he was ”modified” by Bonaparte, which means, as Lord George says, that ”he took it out in money.” But why do I dwell on these things? Down we went, Molly,--down the narrow stairs,--for the supper was laid out below; and a terrible crush it was, for, strange as it may seem, your grand people are just as anxious to get good places as any; and I saw a duke fighting his way in, just like old Ted Davis at Dodsborough!
When we came to the last flight of stairs, the crowd was awful, and the banisters creaked, and the wood-work groaned, so that I thought it was going to give way; and instead of James moving on in front, he pressed back upon us, and increased the confusion, for we were forced forward by hundreds behind us.
”What's the matter, James?” said I. ”Why don't you goon?”
”I 'd rather be excused,” said he. ”It 's like Donnybrook Fair, down there,--a regular s.h.i.+ndy!”
It was no less, Molly; for although the hall was filled with servants, there were two men armed with sticks, laying about them like mad, and fighting their way towards the supper-room.
”Who are those wretches?” cried I; ”why don't they turn them out?”
The words weren't well out, my dear Molly, when the door gave way, and the two, trampling down all before them, pa.s.sed into the room. From that moment it was crash after cras.h.!.+ Lamps, l.u.s.tres, china, gla.s.s, plates, dishes, fruit, and confectionery flying on all sides! In less time than I 'm writing it, the table was cleared, and of the elegant temple there wasn't a bit standing. I just got inside the door to see the McCarthy arms in smithereens! and K. I.--for it was him!--dancing over them, with that little blackguard Paddy Byrne smas.h.i.+ng everything round him! I went off into fits, Molly, and never saw more; and, indeed, I wish with all my heart that I never came to again, if what they tell me be only true.
K. I., it seems, no sooner demolished the supper than he set to work on the company. He s.n.a.t.c.hed off the Margravine's wig, and beat her with it, kicking Dammiseisen and two other princes into the street. They say that many of the n.o.bility leaped out of the first-pair windows, and one fat old gentleman, a chamberlain to the King of Bavaria, was caught by a lamp iron, and hung there for twenty minutes, with a mob shouting round him!
This all came of the Belgians letting out K. I. at one o'clock, which, according to their reckoning, was the end of his three days.
I 'm getting another attack, so I must conclude. We left Brussels the next morning, and arrived here the same night. I don't know where we are going, and I don't care. K. I. has never had the face to come near me since his infamous conduct, and I hope, for the little time I may be spared on this side of the grave, not to see him again. Mary Anne is in bed, too, and nearly as bad as myself; and as for Caroline, I wouldn't let her into the room! Lord George took James away to his own lodgings till K. I. learns to behave more like a Christian; but when that may be is utterly beyond
Your afflicted and disgraced friend,
Jemima Dodd.
Htel d'Angleterre, Lige.
Dear Molly, I open this to say that I have made my will; for, if Divine Providence doesn't befriend me, your poor Jemima will be in paradise before this reaches you! I have left you my black satin with the bugles, and my brown bombazine, which, when it is dyed, will be very nice mourning for common wear. I also bequeath to you the things you 'll find in the oak press in my own room, and ten silver spoons, and a fish-knife marked with the McCarthy arms, which, not to be too particular, I have put down in the will as ”plate and linen.” I leave you, besides, my book of ”Domestic Cookery,” ”The Complete Housewife,” and the ”Way to Glory,”