Part 1 (1/2)

SHADOW & SOUL.

The Night Horde SoCal Series.

Susan Fanetti.

All of my books are dedicated to the Freaks, because my books wouldn't exist without them. Some days I think I wouldn't, either.

This story is also dedicated to the children no one looks out for, and to the adults they become.

I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

~Pablo Neruda, Sonnet XVII.

CHAPTER ONE.

Faith saw Bibi come through the automatic doors into the Emergency Room. She sat and watched as the older woman strode with purpose to the curved reception desk. She was dressed yet, or again, in her signature snug jeans, low boots, and leather jacket, probably with a v-neck sweater underneath, and her bittersweet-chocolate-brown hair was down, just over her shoulders, and perfect. Even at one o'clock in the morning, Bibi Elliott put herself together if she was going to be seen.

Faith Fordham, on the other hand, was wearing ancient UGGs, white sweatpants, and a gigantic black hoodie left behind by some guy or another, and she couldn't remember the last time she'd even brushed her hair.

She couldn't hear the exchange, but she could see in the set of Bibi's back that it was about to get heated, so she stood and took a few steps toward the desk. ”Beeb. I'm here.”

The receptionist or whatever she was forgotten, Bibi spun on her heel. ”Faith! Honey!” Her arms extended, she crossed the waiting room. Faith met her halfway and allowed herself to be hugged hard and enthusiastically. She'd spoken to Bibi regularly over the years, every few months or so, but she hadn't actually seen her in...f.u.c.k. A decade.

”Oh, honey! Oh, I'm so sorry. What a way to come back home. Is your mama okay? Are you okay? What the h.e.l.l happened?”

None of those questions had easy answers, so Faith pulled back and took Bibi's hand. ”Let's sit.”

As she led her over to the empty row of thinly padded chairs-it was quiet in the ER on this midweek predawn-Bibi asked, ”What happened, honey?”

”I don't know much yet. They took her for tests.”

”Didn't they let you go with her?”

Faith took a deep breath and met Bibi's eyes. ”I couldn't, Beeb. This all is...my head's going a thousand miles a second. And she was yelling, and they had her in restraints, and I just-”

She cut off abruptly, realizing that she was about to burst into tears. Bibi was still clutching her hand. With the other, Faith pinched her arm as hard as she could. She'd learned when she was a kid that doing so would make the tears die where they were. It worked, and there were times in her life that she'd pinched herself black and blue trying to maintain her composure. ”I haven't laid eyes on her in almost ten years, Beeb. I don't even know what I'm supposed to do now.” She squeezed her mother's best friend's hand. ”Thank you for coming.”

”Oh, my G.o.d, Faith. Of course I'm here. Of course I am.” Then Bibi got a look that Faith remembered vividly from her childhood. It meant that Bibi was on the job, and the relief Faith felt at that almost started the tears again. ”Let's start with what happened and work out from there.”

”I got a call. I guess when Sera got transferred to Tokyo, she set me up as Mom's emergency contact. I don't know why it wasn't you.”

”Has to be kin, honey. Blood kin.”

Faith nodded; that made sense. ”Okay. Anyway, I got a call that she'd been brought to the ER and they needed me here. She got hit by a car. She ran out in front of it.”

”Oh, lord!”

”It's worse, I think. The driver had just left a stop sign, so she has a broken leg and some bruises and sc.r.a.pes, but it's not that bad. The worst part is that she was out on the street naked and completely incoherent. She's still totally raving-or she was until they put her out. And they don't know why. f.u.c.k, it should be Sera dealing with this.”

Sera-her full name was Serenity, but she'd decided she was Sera when she was in seventh grade-was the oldest of the two sisters, a Type-A do-gooder. She was their mother's pride and joy. Faith, a rebel from the time she'd learned to say 'no,' had preferred the bike shop to school, or anywhere else, and she'd found her home in her father's heart. Until they'd both torn it all apart. Her mother, too. Maybe her mother most of all. Or maybe not. When Faith thought of that time, she a.s.signed blame variously and had no idea where it truly belonged.

But when the dust had settled, Faith had moved on, alone and away from the rubble of her life and her family.

Bibi gave her a little shake. ”Well, it's not Sera. It's you. And me. We'll figure this out together, okay?”

Faith nodded. ”Okay. I guess...I guess we wait. Will you stay?”

”I'm not goin' anywhere, baby. I'm right here.” Bibi wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close. It was the most familial affection Faith had felt in years, and her throat clenched again.

She sat with her head on Bibi's shoulder for a few minutes, finding calm in that motherly embrace. Then she said the thing that had really started her head spinning like a centrifuge. ”She didn't recognize me.”

Bibi had been rubbing a soothing circle on Faith's arm. At that sentence, she stopped, and they were both momentarily still.

”From what you said, honey, it didn't sound like she knew much about anythin'. Don't wrap yourself around that axle. Your mama knows you. She's been missin' you all this time. I know.”

And that didn't make Faith feel better at all.

There was a television on the wall, set to a channel playing back-to-back-to-back episodes of one of the Law and Order shows. The sound wasn't on, but the closed captioning was. Faith leaned on Bibi and stared at the television, not really watching, not really paying attention to the captions, and not really thinking, either. All of her thoughts wanted to be thought at once, so she had put them on time out until they could take turns.

Bibi's hand was back to rubbing her arm, but otherwise they were both quiet and still, except each time the doors back to the treatment rooms opened, when they both swiveled their heads. For a long time, a couple of hours at least, no one she recognized came out, and no one came looking for her.

And then, the doctor who'd invited Faith to follow them up to Radiology or wherever they'd taken her mother came through the doors, scanned the room, and headed for her.

”Miss Fordham.”

Bibi had already taken her arm back, probably sensing in Faith's posture that it was time for them to stand, which was what they did.

”Yeah, hi. How is she?”

The doctor seemed young, about Faith's age. He was short and sort of doughy, but he had a kind face and a gentle demeanor. He was probably great at emergency medicine, where people came in frantic and needed a calm, kind presence.

”She's sleeping quietly now. Why don't you come back with me, and we can sit and talk with some privacy.”

”Um, okay. Can...can Bibi come back? She's my mom's best friend.”

He smiled warmly. ”Of course. Right this way.”

The doctor-Faith reminded herself to try to read the name embroidered on his coat-led them through the swinging double doors and then off to the side. There was a little room with a comfortable sofa and a couple of upholstered chairs. The color scheme was blue and pale grey, there were quiet seascape prints on the walls, and there were boxes of tissues on all three little tables near the seats.

Jesus, Faith thought. This is the death room. She stopped in her tracks. ”Wait. Is she-is...you said she was only sleeping, right?” She had no idea how she'd feel if her mother was dead. And that thought was on a long time out.

The doctor-Reid, no Riedl, was his name-indicated the sofa. ”She's sleeping, yes. Please, have a seat.”

They sat.