Part 8 (1/2)
My best childhood memories were the times we spent at their house. We would have New Year's Eve parties and stay up all night long. We also had tea parties, using Grandma's fine china for tea, and pretending raisins were caviar. We'd put on all of Grandma's costume jewelry and bright red lipstick-and then, of course, we'd kiss the duke (aka Grandpa). We'd cook up a storm and destroy Grandma's kitchen for the millionth time, while she'd cheerfully say, ”I'll get it,” as she cleaned it up. Even the hour ride to their house was memorable.
Grandma and Grandpa picked us up in their pickup truck, and we would ride in the back on the wood storage boxes Grandpa had made. We'd tumble around in the back and then open the sliding window in the back of the cab. Grandma would talk to us or tell us to get drinks out of the cooler or sing the whole way to keep us busy.
Grandma was a fabulous cook, but when she asked us what we wanted for dinner, we would always choose ”plastic turkey and plastic mashed potatoes,” which is what Grandma called TV dinners. She didn't mind-she would let us have them anyway.
While they had a whole house full of bedrooms, we slept on the floor in sleeping bags in their bedroom. We'd listen to them snore in their well-rehea.r.s.ed chorus. In the mornings, Grandpa got up early and made us a big breakfast in his clanky cast iron skillets and brought Grandma coffee. She stayed up so late, so she always had a hard time waking up in the morning. We would jump on her, and she would never get angry or annoyed. (Wish I could say the same...) I can still picture Grandpa sitting peacefully on a bench in the utility room, watching TV and carving Bible verses into his locally famous plaques with a pocketknife. He kept a peanut can full of bubble gum in the cupboard. He would chew the gum when he took his false teeth out at night, and he would always share his gum with us-especially the grape-flavored pieces, which were our favorite.
Grandma always had a purse full of candy and was known as the ”candy lady” at church. All the kids found her after the service to choose a piece of candy.
Looking back, they taught me what really matters: family, memories, tradition. I couldn't have asked for better grandparents. Soon after we moved into the house on Andrew Avenue, we placed the birdfeeder Grandpa had made for us outside our dining room windows. Almost immediately, two doves moved in. With the loss of Grandma and Grandpa always on our minds, coupled with the fact that they were avid bird watchers, it seemed only fitting to name the doves Grandma and Grandpa. Each evening as we ate dinner, without fail ”Grandma and Grandpa” were there to pay us a visit. It was as if they were watching over us, and strangely, this was very comforting to all of us.
Grandma and Grandpa doves on our back deck (near Grandpa's bird feeder).
Because Grandma and Grandpa's letters meant so much to me, I started writing letters to my own kids. Every Sat.u.r.day before I left for work I used to write notes to Mady and Cara. Something as brief as: Dear Cara,I hope you have fun today. Please be a big help to Daddy. I hope you enjoy dinner tonight-Nana Janet Roast with mashed potatoes and gravy, your favorite! I'll see you tomorrow morning when you wake up. I love you!Love, Mommy At first I just thought it was a nice way for them to wake up, but later on I realized they came to look forward to and expect those little notes each weekend. I only recently discovered that they saved them. I found stacks of notes in the drawers underneath their beds!
In addition to the everyday notes, each Valentine's Day I write a love letter to each child. While in the day-to-day routine I have to be tough, Valentine's Day is a special time for me to remind them in various ways how much I love them. In fact, all day on Valentine's Day, I ask the kids what Valentine's Day means, and they respond, ”Looove!”
The tooth-fairy notes came soon after that. Jon and I were sleeping when Mady presented us with her first tooth. On Mady's note I wrote: Dear Mady,I would like to introduce myself: I am Miss Tooth Fairy! I flew from far away to collect your tooth-and thank you, by the way. I am working on a necklace. Enjoy your surprise! See you next time a tooth falls out! (But please wait until it's warm outside, since I don't like flying in this chilly night weather!)Byeeeeeeee, Miss Tooth FairyOh, and one more thing: Brush your teeth. I don't like dirty rotted teeth! Thank you!
We left that first note with a $2 bill. (The dentist said the going rate in our area for the first tooth is $20. Not so much in our house!) We were so busy with the little kids when Mady and Cara started losing teeth, that at one point, Mady lost a tooth and the tooth fairy didn't come for five days. She was heartbroken. We left her a note from the tooth fairy that read, ”I'm sorry, I broke my left wing. I could only fly in circles.” We had to come up with something because we had been so forgetful.
I couldn't keep track of only Mady and Cara's teeth, so I can't imagine how hard it will be with six of them. When they start losing teeth, I'm going to have to prepare preprinted notes and have them all folded and ready. Even the tooth fairy needs some organization and efficiency.
Cara lost her first tooth and proudly showed me.
When Mady and Cara started first grade, I wrote napkin notes in their lunches almost every day. I remember how much little notes meant to me during lunchtime, and I want them to feel the same way I did. My mom used to write her notes in red ink with the same curly handwriting as my grandpa and she always signed them ”143” (I love you).
In addition to the lunch-box notes, there is always a note on the dry erase board by the sink that I change periodically. For Thanksgiving it read, ”I'm so thankful for each one of my eight perfectly amazing kids.” For Christmas it read, ”You're the eight best Christmas presents I could ask for.” For Valentine's Day it read, ”My heart belongs to each of you.”
Love notes sent from someone who loves us! Aaden and Alexis open their cards I left at their places at the table-standard mail delivery protocol in our house!
The best surprise is that the kids now leave notes for me.
Mady received a plate to decorate for Christmas. Recently, when I was traveling, she decided to decorate it and then so sweetly chose to give it to me. When I got home, she left the Christmas plate in my room with two Post-It notes stuck to it. One note said, ”Dear Mommy, I decided to decorate and give my plate to you, because you're the most important person to me.” The second one read, ”Do not touch unless you're Mommy.”
I love the plate, but you know I will never ever remove the Post-It notes.
All those nights when I sat completely exhausted at my laptop and could barely see the computer screen through my blurry eyes, I continued to journal and make notes of our daily, seemingly mundane lives. Even though I thought I'd remember what happened each day, it has gone by so quickly that many of the memories have all but faded. With each journal entry, each note, each event and conversation recorded, my kids will have a permanent reminder of my love for them during these early years. But this legacy is far from complete: I'll continue writing my kids love notes because I just want them to know how much I love them.
Photo Alb.u.m In the process of writing this book, I was looking for photos to include. Because I had never seen many of them before, I spent hours reliving those years in our home on Andrew Avenue. I hope you will engag these pictares as well.
Our first day of ski school in Utah. It took two hours and lots of adults to dress all of the kids. I was so happy they had the privilege of learning to ski.
At the beach in North Carolina, Alexis greets ”Dusty.” I have no idea where she came up with the name Dusty, but he is her buddy for sure!
All six kids giving one another ”rabbit ears.” It's moments like these that I can catch glimpses of the future...when they are all teenagers doing goofy stuff to each other (heaven help me!).
This is one of my favorite pictures of Aaden ever...from the snack in the corner of the mouth to the folded down ear.
Cara in her own design. She always came up with the most creative paper hats and masks.
Diving into our Easter baskets before church. There was no room for everyone to go and spread out their contents, so they ended up sitting on the floor around the dining room table...sneaking jelly beans (organic of course) at any chance.
Life's a beach, isn't it?
On a rainy beach day, Leah, Alexis, and Hannah made the pantry into a fun game-jump out and scare Mommy!
Collin clearly had an issue with ”lying down and going to sleep”-so he sat up and went to sleep during this naptime!
Collin enjoying a winter wonderland right outside our door!
Mady did her hair up in chopsticks and was proud to show off her Asian heritage.
Mady got a karaoke machine for Christmas and sang all day-and all night!
Hannah and Leah had fallen asleep at the top of the stairs near their bedroom...It was time to put a gate at the top for safety!
Fun at our neighbor Laura's pool. They graciously allowed our eight kids to descend upon their backyard pool each and every Wednesday morning one summer.
Alexis stopping for a water break at her third birthday party.
Out to dinner and spending time with Hannah and Leah.
As we packed for a winter trip, Hannah decided to wear Mommy's shoes for a day.
Hannah, Cara, Collin, and Joel on the ”party bus” as the kids always called any bus (other than ours).
Collin is lifting a ”BIG” pumpkin...or trying. He called them ”b.a.l.l.s.” This was taken on the first episode of our show.
First night in our new big boy beds. What a milestone. I sadly watched as our last cribs ever were replaced with beds. Aaden is sleeping, while Joel is playing-typical!
Hannah, Collin, Leah, Alexis, Joel, and Aaden showing off dress-up and favorite toys.