Part 4 (2/2)
I have enjoyed watching you grow, Hannah. Almost immediately you showed maturity beyond your years. You were barely walking when you a.s.signed yourself the task, each morning as I dressed all of you, of collecting all six pairs of pajamas and depositing them in the hamper that loomed much higher than your head. Once, when you were two and a half, you cheerily announced that you would ”go downstairs and watch the kids.” I laughed and thanked you as I reminded you ”the kids” were the same age as you.
You have always taken pride in your independence and your ability to help me. You have always seemed to know when I have been especially tired, and it is then that you offer extra help. I don't think you know how much I have appreciated that.
Early on, you developed a love of horses, and around the same time you took pride in your long hair-your own mane! This prompted my nickname for you, ”Long Hair Lilly.” Sometimes you still request that I say good night to Long Hair Lilly, not Hannah! Other names you have taken on, that you have come to know and love, are ”Hanni” and ”m.u.f.fy.” I have enjoyed seeing your gorgeous smile when I refer to you this way! It's our little thing-no one else is allowed to call you those names! So beautiful you are!
As an infant, you looked like a doll baby that I had purchased at the store. Really, you did! All of your little infant rolls were in just the right spots. You had perfectly round rosy cheeks, deep earnest brown eyes, and just the right amount of dark brown hair. As you have grown, you have taken on an exotic appearance. When you smile, the world lights up with you. Once when we visited Hawaii (remember all the fun?), a friend remarked that if we ”left Hannah in Hawaii, she'd blend right in.” You were too precious to leave behind, of course, so naturally we brought our little Miss Hawaii home with us.
I have enjoyed watching you grow. Even at five years old, I see who you are. You are a unique, bright, and honest little girl who is caring and loving. You are helpful and independent. You have a strong inner strength and much ability to succeed.
Over the last few years our family has changed, and this has caused pain and doubt in you. It has shaken you as it has shaken each of us. This is all expected and normal as we learn to create a new family unit and navigate these differences. I want you to know that although our family life has changed, my love for you will never ever change. I am still the ”same mommy,” as I frequently remind you and your brothers and sisters, and I always will be. Our structure may appear and feel different, but my goals as your mommy have not changed in any way.
I want to help you, Hannah. And I want you to learn early on a lesson that I did not learn early enough: Accept help where you need it. Make yourself humble and realize that support and care from friends and family-and sometimes people you have never met-will help you survive and succeed. Sometimes the best support comes when we least expect it from someone who we would least suspect to give it. These are angels that G.o.d sends our way to light our paths.
In return, always be vigilant, watching for others that need your help. Reach out to them, even when it's inconvenient to you, and offer your a.s.sistance. Everyone benefits from offers of help. Sometimes your help may mean the difference between existing and really living. If everyone remembered these lessons (that took me a long time to learn!), our world would be full of love and life!
I dream for you a life filled with love, a satisfying career, and family. My hope is that you learn to love G.o.d and rely on him for your needs. People will always fail you, but G.o.d never will. I a.s.sure you of this. I'll always be here for you, Hannah. I am honored to call myself your mom.
Wherever life takes you, I'll go with you helping you however I possibly can. As long as I have breath, I'll love you, support you, instruct you, and guide you every step of the way.
Love forever and always, no matter what, Mommy
7.
TOWER OF BABEL.
In our house when everyone started talking, it was like the Tower of Babel-a noisy Tower of Babel. Everyone was trying to be heard, but when I couldn't understand eight out of ten words, everyone became frustrated. As twins, Mady and Cara have always been glued together and communicated with each other very well. When the little kids started talking, they tried to communicate with me, but not really between themselves, aside from Hannah and Leah.
Hannah and Leah were the first talkers and they translated as well as spoke for the group.
”Hannah, what does he want?”
”Mommy, he wants milk on his cereal.”
Mady and Cara also translated for the little kids. Cara's translation was accurate; Mady's translation was what she wanted them to say. And she made it sound so good!
Collin spoke a lot, but I didn't know what language he spoke. It was always sing-songy with a lot of ”mommy's” sprinkled in. Collin had a lot to say, even if I didn't understand it.
Alexis also spoke a lot, but she frequently butchered words, so we couldn't understand most of what she said. She took longer to walk or crawl when she was a baby, so she shrieked when the others came up and took her toys. For Alexis, shrieking was a tried-and-true method that she frequently fell back on. She tried so hard to be understood, but she would quickly become frustrated and then say, ”Never mind.” Even now she butchers words sometimes. She'll say, ”What did we have for lunch, Mom? That word I can't say.”
”Quesadillas.”
”Oh, yeah!”
Aaden didn't talk much and Joel didn't talk at all. Hannah talked so much for Joel, in fact, that our pediatrician told me to ask her to stop.
I remember one of the first conversations I had with Hannah. One day, she came into the kitchen while I was making dinner and said, ”Me boo boo,” while pointing to her back.
”Where's your boo boo, Hannah?”
”On my back.”
”Were you jumping?”
”Yes. Jup. Mommy, I need cake.” Now she was pointing to the freezer.
It took me a minute, but I finally figured out she needed the boo boo cold pack shaped like Strawberry Shortcake.
Then when she put it on her arm (close enough to her back), she said, ”Mommy, I loo pity.”
”You sure do look pretty,” I replied as I started to heat up broccoli in the microwave.
”Mommy, my nose!”
”Your nose?” I figured she had another boo boo.
”In my nose, Mommy.”
”What's in your nose, Hanni?”
”Broccies.”
She smelled the broccoli!
I loved their way of communicating at this age. So simple and fun, and they were all so proud of themselves when I understood them.
Another time, when I was finis.h.i.+ng dressing Joel and Aaden one morning, Hannah came up the stairs saying, ”I need to talk to Mommy. I need to talk to Mommy.” When she finally reached me in the nursery, she said, ”Mommy, my jew cup [juice cup], I can't like it.”
She came all the way upstairs to tell me she didn't like her juice, in her best British accent-”can't like it.” Leah did like the juice, which she referred to as her ”blue baby” [blueberry] juice.
Leah used to say to Jon that she likes the ”hair by his mouth, hair by his nose, and hair by his ears.” He loved that she said this about his beard!
This was also the time when they started telling on each other. At first, I tried to pay attention to all of it, but after so many months (now years!), I started making them deal with it themselves. Now, if someone starts a sentence with his or her brother or sister's name and unless there is bodily injury involved, I hold up my hand: ”I don't want to hear it. Go work it out.” Tattling is exhausting!
I use their language as a way to set rules and boundaries by doing fill in the blanks. The little kids love giving the right answers. Here are some of them: ”I'm going away because I have to go to work, but I always come...”
”Back!”
”I only go away because I...”
”Have to!”
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