Part 27 (2/2)
”Daniel and I both work, you know that.”
”Lucy doesn't cook,” I observed.
”When you live in Manhattan, you don't have to cook. Manhattan is thirty-five square miles of room service!”
”Well, I think I'm going to cook tonight,” I said. ”I bought a bunch of groceries because I thought I'd like to try it. You want to stay for dinner?”
”Oh,” she said, like this was a really bad idea.
”You don't have to stay. I mean, you can stay if you want. It's probably going to be a disaster. But you never know. I'm making scallops and pears in a lemon cream sauce. I read the recipe, and it doesn't look as hard as it sounds. You just boil some pasta and sear the scallops and the pears-do you know how to sear?”
”No, I don't, I really don't,” she said, inexplicably getting all upset again.
”It's not that big a deal, I can figure it out.”
”I think that's Lucy,” she said, picking up the tiny change in the atmosphere that occurs when someone opens the front door of the apartment. ”LUCY! IS THAT YOU?” she asked, and then she scurried away.
Even after Frank's forewarning, I couldn't put together what their plan was. Lucy had to just come out and announce it to me. She breezed into the kitchen with Alison hovering behind her and tossed it off like a fancy new pair of leather gloves.
”I was just down on the fifth floor talking to your friend Vince,” she told me, as if this were the most natural thing in the world.
”You were what?” I said.
”He really likes you, Tina. Well, we knew that.”
”Okay, can we back up for a second? You went down to see Vince Masterson?”
”His father is the president of the co-op board.”
”So?”
”So we-Daniel and Ira and I, and Alison-think that's a good relations.h.i.+p to build. Obviously, no one is happy about the co-op's response to this situation. That press conference they held made a big impression on the media, and Sotheby's has, well, I think it's obvious that their interest has cooled. We were all set to move ahead with the renovation, and that, all of it, has been put on hold.”
”What renovation? You want to renovate this place? With what?”
”There are investors willing to come on board with us. We told you this.”
”You did not tell me this.”
”If I didn't tell you all the details, it's because you can barely hold on to the three or four in front of you at any given time.”
”Stop talking to me like I'm an idiot, Lucy-”
”I'm not talking to you like you're an idiot. I'm telling you the facts. You're angry because we don't always give them to you; well, I'll give them to you now if you'll stop whining long enough to listen.”
”That's charming.”
”Please, please don't fight,” Alison interrupted, suddenly near tears. ”It's terrible, Tina. You don't know how bad things are. We're going to lose everything. We're going to lose.”
”Relax, Alison,” Lucy warned her. ”We're not losing anything. It's just going to take a bit longer to win. We have to be both wily and tenacious, and as you and I both know, Tina is completely capable of that.”
”Oh great. I can't wait to hear what I'm capable of,” I said. ”Keep going, Lucy.”
”Vince would really like to have dinner with you.”
”So you arranged for that. For me to have dinner with him.”
”You have a reservation at Neal's, for seven-thirty. He'll meet you there.”
”And then we can cab back home together,” I observed, picking up on the genius of the plan fast enough.
”Well, that would be up to you, but since you live in the same building I don't know why not.”
”Perfect,” I said. ”I'm really looking forward to sharing a cab with that octopus.”
”He's quite attractive,” Lucy told Alison, ignoring my tone. ”He looks like a supermodel. I can't believe he looks like that and he has money! Oh, you put water on for tea! Is there enough for me?” She sailed back into the kitchen and started looking around for the tea bags.
”Yes, there's water. I don't think it's ready yet, but maybe it is,” Alison twittered. ”I don't know how long you keep it on.”
”You keep it on until it boils,” I said. ”Are you kidding me? You really don't even know how to boil water?”
”We don't have tea very often, Tina,” she replied, with an air of offended dignity. ”I just heat up the water in the microwave.”
”Well, let me clue you in to something. The microwave uses up sixty zillion times as much energy as you need, and it doesn't get the water hot enough.”
”Don't yell at her,” Lucy warned me.
”How about if I yell at you?” I said, furious.
”What, what?” said Alison. ”What's wrong?”
”Oh, stop acting like an idiot, Alison,” I sneered. ”I'm being pimped out by my own sisters, and you want me to act like there's nothing wrong?”
”Inflammatory language is not going to be helpful here,” Lucy announced.
”Inflammatory language is never helpful, that's not why I use it!” I hissed. ”You want me to f.u.c.k that guy. I'm supposed to f.u.c.k Vince Masterson because his father is on the f.u.c.king co-op board.”
”He is the president of the co-op board.”
”No one said you had to sleep with him,” Alison protested. ”We just thought that since he liked you already, that you could ask for his help, Tina, that's all we were talking about.”
”Alison, grow up and get a clue, would you, please? Vince Masterson does not want to have dinner with me.”
”A couple of months ago, I almost walked in on you and Vince doing the deed right out front on that hideous s.h.a.g rug,” Lucy pointed out, unimpressed with my moral outrage. ”I don't think it's unreasonable to a.s.sume that if you decided to follow through on that impulse, it might put things on a friendlier footing. Between us and the co-op board.”
”Why don't you have s.e.x with him, you think it's such a great idea.”
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