Part 20 (1/2)

”Adams then rose up, and said he must leave, and Jefferson, Uncle Ben, and Fulton followed. And in a moment Uncle Ben, Fulton, Adams, Jefferson, the little man, the apartments, wheels, and machinery, began to rock, and heave, and fade, and finally dissolve; and suddenly I awoke!”

”You _did_ awake!” exclaimed the Colonel, drawing a breath all the way from his boots; ”I should have thought you would.”

Bates gave a yawn, and throwing his quid into the fire, called for a gla.s.s of whiskey and water, saying he would ”try to choke down the story with _that_.”

Longbow sat perfectly magnetized--his arms folded across his breast, his chin dropped, his legs resting on his boot-heels, and pushed out in front of him, as though he was driving a hard-bitted horse, and his one eye stared vacantly at the coals in the huge fireplace. He gave an unconscious grunt when Smith concluded, but made no commentary.

Turtle said ”the dream was very remarkable for such a man as Smith; but he guessed he _had_ it, and he was going to believe it, because it was upon the word of a Puddlefordian. But he'd had one that beat it all holler--s'prisin' dream--like them air visions that somebody unriddled for--he couldn't recollect the name of the man now--no matter, the dream's the same.

”I got up one morning,” said Ike, ”and went down to my breakfast-table, but there warn't one of my family present. I saw seated around it, however, a strange company of folks, and dressed as no mortals ever were before, since the flood, I _reckon_. There warn't nothin' that ever I seed before on any on 'em. I took my place at the head of the board, and attempted to do the carvin'; but there warn't n.o.body that understood my meanin'. Pork warn't pork any more; and when I tried to pa.s.s pork, I found that it had a kind-er' fancy name, which I have now forgot.

”One great goggle-eyed fellow, who sat at my right hand, informed a lady near him 'that he'd got-ter go over to Agoria before dinner, and get his sun-dial fixed; but his wings were down at the shop being fixed, and he couldn't start this hour yet.”

”'Agoria! Where's that?' asked I.

”'Don't know where Agoria is--ha, ha! On the River Amazon, a trip of a couple of thousand of miles.' And so he took out a little eye-gla.s.s, and looked at me for a long time, and, putting it back in his pocket, said 'he thought I was a North Pole-ander, or a ghost; he didn't know which.

”'Dear me! you _will_ be keerful, now won't you?' said the lady. Two hundred collisions in the air last night, among the winged men; almost as many the night afore--awful!'

”The goggle-eyed man said he would.

”'Did you hear President Jones lecter last night,' said a spectacled critter, at the upper end of the table, sticking his fore-finger out to me.

”'No, sir-_ee_!' I hollered back to him, as I was some little frustrated by this time.

”'He showed,' said the man, 'that one Tom Jefferson prob'bly _did_ write the Declaration of Independence that the ancients made.'

”'You don't say so, though, do you?' said I. 'You're a bright set of chaps the whole on you, President Jones and all.'

”There was a mighty deal said about the Persian war with America; what somebody said who came from Africa last night--what this man and that man done in Congress; but getting out of patience at last, I jumped up, and left the whole on 'em; and as I pa.s.sed out of the room, told 'em 'they might all go to gra.s.s.'

”As I left the house, I saw an almanac hanging on the wall for the year 2564. The first thought, when I saw this, was, '_Where, in the name of Andrew Jackson, is Puddleford now?_'

”But what was my surprise, when I got inter the street, which was all laid with slabs of granite, and lined with palaces, to find Squire Longbow walking along with his wings folded on his back, looking as nat'ral as the old fogy himself.

”'Squire,' said I, 'here's _to_ you!'

”The Squire said 'he hadn't the honor of my 'quaintance.'

”'O, you old scoundrel!' said I, 'you can't come that--'”

”That's false!” exclaimed Longbow; ”I didn't have no such talk.”

”It was _only_ a _dream_--you forget,” answered Ike.

”Exactly,” replied the Squire, relapsing into his former mood.

”'You can't come that, old man,' I repeated; 'I could tell you in the streets of Jerusalem in the night; what are you about, old feller? You look fat and p.u.s.s.y.'