Part 16 (1/2)

”Can you secure them?” inquired Farindale.

”Well, now, you _have_ said it!” exclaimed Whistle, with apparent astonishment. ”What can be safer than the firm of Whistle & Sharp?--_secure!_--never had such a thing hinted before during the ten years of our business.”

”A mortgage,” insinuated Farindale.

”Can't do _that_,--not no how; my old grandfather was swept out clean with a mortgage once; took all he had, and he was compelled to emigrate; died of broken heart at last.”

”Then,” said Farindale, ”I must sue.”

”What! sue the firm of Whistle & Sharp! Very well, sir, do, if you please.”

”Yes-sir-_ee_--horse-cob! Mr. Follett, Fizzlet & Farindale,” exclaimed Sharp, springing at one bound over the counter; ”just sue us if--_you_--please; we'll pay the costs!” and Sharp whistled a tune with his eyes fixed steadily upon Farindale.

”Court sits next month,” said Whistle.

”And we'll confess judgment,” said Sharp.

”And the _pay_ is sure,” said Whistle.

”And no trouble hereafter,” said Sharp.

Mr. Farindale began to think another sniping expedition was afoot. He was not a coward, if his c.o.c.kneyism had lured him after snipe; but he was unable to determine what kind of people the Puddlefordians were. He had never met anything like them. So he sat in his chair, the account against Whistle & Sharp in his hand, tapping the floor with his right foot, trying to devise some way to secure his claim.

A thought struck him. ”Pay it, and I will make a discount of twenty-five per cent.,” said he.

”What's that you say?” indignantly exclaimed Sharp. ”Do you mean to injure our firm?--the firm of Whistle & Sharp, who pay dollar for dollar! That ere, sir, is an insult. There's the door--walk! Sue! but you can't insult _us_ on our own premises. That's the way to talk it, sir!” And Mr.

Farindale _did_ go, and he _did_ sue, and the firm recovered a judgment against Whistle & Sharp for the sum of three hundred and twenty-four dollars and sixteen cents, and costs of suit.

It was no great matter to recover a judgment against a Puddlefordian; but it was something of a business to realize the damages. And that the reader may understand what kind of a prospect Follett, Fizzlet & Farindale had for their money, it is necessary to speak of the laws then in force for the collection of debts. The new states at that time were entirely ”s.h.i.+ngled over” with relief laws, which were pa.s.sed to save the property of the pioneer from sacrifice. There was scarcely any money in Puddleford, and exchanges were made by barter. Personal property was valued by its relation to other property; eight yards of calico were worth so much wheat, corn, potash, cord-wood, or saw-logs. The merchant managed to turn his grain into high wines, or put it in some other shape that would bear transportation, and he was thus enabled to pay _his_ debts. The farmer gave the mechanic an order on the merchant; the professional man took an order on the merchant; the day-laborer took an order on the merchant; everybody took an order on the merchant. The merchant was general paymaster; what he could not, or would not pay, remained unpaid; and he, in his turn, swept the farmer's crops, and took everything available; and the balance yet his due, and remaining unpaid, if any, was carried over against the farmer, and against the next crop. Thus the whole business of Puddleford ran through the merchant like wheat through a mill, and generally at a profit to the latter of from seventy-five to a hundred per cent.

It was this condition of the country that drove the legislature into the enactment of relief-laws. As there was no money to pay debts, it was enacted that property should be a legal tender. The law in force, at the date of the judgment against Whistle & Sharp, was a beautiful specimen of legislative impudence and ingenuity. It _was_ a relief law! One section of the act provided, in substance, that upon the presentation of an execution, issued by any court in the state, by the officer to whom the same shall be directed, to the debtor or debtors mentioned therein, _such debtor or debtors may turn out any property, personal or real, to said officer_ who shall levy on the same; and the said officer shall cause the same to be appraised by three appraisers, one to be chosen by the plaintiff, one by the defendant, and one by the officer, who shall forthwith be sworn, etc., and proceed to appraise said property turned out at its true cash value; and the said plaintiff in such execution shall receive said property at two thirds its appraised value; and, if he refuse, he shall not proceed any farther with his execution, or have another, _until he first pay up all the costs of said apprais.e.m.e.nt_.[A]

An execution was issued by J. Snappit, Esq., attorney for Follett, Fizzlet & Farindale, upon the judgment, recorded as foresaid, against the firm of Whistle & Sharp, and put into the hands of the sheriff for collection.

Now the sheriff of the county which included Puddleford within its limits was an accommodating man, a humane man, a man of the people, a--politician.

He did not think it necessary to oppress debtors who were unfortunately unable to pay their debts--for the people elected him. Follett, Fizzlet & Farindale never voted for _him_--never could vote for him; Whistle & Sharp had, and would again. So the sheriff went down to Puddleford, and very politely informed them, with a wink, that ”he had _that_ execution against them, and it must be paid.”

”Jest so--jest so,” answered Sharp, reading over the writ: ”Whistle & Sharp always pay--always have a pile of a.s.sets ready for a levy;” and returning the execution to the sheriff, begged a moment's delay, until ”_we_ could consult with our attorney.”

Mr. Turtle was consulted, and the conclusion of Sharp's interview with him amounted to this: that Turtle should go immediately, and purchase for Whistle & Sharp the old steamboat cylinder, crank, and shaft; and the parties separated.

The steamboat cylinder, crank, and shaft, alluded to, was what Turtle called the ”Puddleford bank--metallic basis.” Some years before, a steamboat, on an exploring expedition up the river, among its windings and sand-bars, was wrecked, and a heavy cylinder, crank, and shaft, thrown ash.o.r.e at Puddleford, where they lay at the period I speak of, and had for a long time, deeply imbedded in sand. This ma.s.s of iron, weighing many tons, had for a long time been a perpetual bar to the collection of all debts against Puddlefordians. Chitty, in his Pleadings, never invented one so omnipotent. It suspended every execution directed against it. It was transferred, by bill of sale, from one Puddlefordian to another (as no creditor was ever found willing to receive it at any price), as necessity required, and was considered, by common consent, public property--a ”bank”

as Turtle called it, ”to which any person had a right to resort in distress.”[B]

Turtle took a bill of sale of this iron from the last man in trouble, and turned it out to the sheriff on the execution against Whistle & Sharp.

”Now, Mr. Sheriff,” said Turtle, triumphantly, ”bring on your ap_pri_zers; a thousand dollars' worth of property to pay a little over three hundred.