Part 14 (1/2)

Squire Longbow said ”he'd run the risk of the fourteen years of age and the fraud, and finally he would of the whole on't. The staterts was well enough, but it warn't to be presumed that a _justice of the peace would_ run agin 'em. Some folks didn't know 'em--he did.”

Ike said ”there was something another in the statert about wimin's doing things 'without any fear or compulsion of anybody,' and he guessed he'd take Miss Graves into another room, and examine her separately and apart from her intended husband.” This was a joke of Turtle's.

The Squire said ”that meant _married_ wimin--arter the ceremony was over, that ere would be very legal and proper.”

Mrs. Swipes said, ”for her part, she thought the oath or-ter be put--it would be an awful thing to see a poor cretur forced into marriage.”

Sister Abigail thought so, too.

Aunt Sonora hoped there wouldn't be nothin' did wrong, ”so people could take the law on 'em.”

Turtle said, ”that they needn't any on 'em fret their gizzards--_he_ was responsible for the la' of the case.”

Bigelow then rose, and told the parties to jine hands, and while they were jined, he wanted the whole company to sing a psalm.

The psalm was sung.

Bigelow then commenced the wedding process. ”Squire Longbow,” exclaimed Bigelow--”this is your second wife, and some folks say the third, and I hope you feel the awful position in which you find yourself.”

The Squire said ”he felt easy and resigned--he'd gone inter it from respect to his woman who was now no more.”

”You do promise to take this ere woman, to eat her, and drink her, and keep her in things to wear, so long as you and she lives.”

”I do that very thing,” responded the Squire.

”And you, on your part,” continued Bigelow, turning to Aunt Graves, ”promise to behave yourself and obey the Squire in all things.”

Aunt Graves said ”she would, Providence permitting.”

This marriage ceremony, I believe, is nearly word for word.

”Then,” said Turtle, ”wheel yourselves into line, and let's have a dance;”

and drawing out his fiddle the whole crowd, in five minutes, were tearing down at a most furious rate; and when I departed, at about midnight, the storm was raging still higher, the whiskey and hot water circulated freely, Turtle looked quite abstracted about his eyes, and his footsteps were growing more and more uncertain, Bulliphant's face shone like a full moon, the voices of the females, a little stimulated, were as noisy and confused as those of Babel, and your humble servant--why, he walked home as straight as a gun--of course he did--and was able to distinguish a hay-stack from a meeting-house, anywhere along the road.

CHAPTER XII.

The Group at ”The Eagle.”--Entree of a Stranger.--His Opinion of the Tavern.--Bulliphant wakes up.--Can't pick Fowls after Dark.--Sad Case of Mother Gantlet and Dr.

Teazle.--Mr. Farindale begins to unbend.--Whistle & Sharp, and their Attorney.--Good Pay.--Legal Conversation.--Going Sniping.--Great Description of the Animal.--The Party start, Farindale holding the Bag.--”Waiting for Snipe.”--Farindale's Solitary Return.--His Interview with Whistle & Sharp.--Suing a Puddleford Firm.--Relief Laws.--Farindale gets his Execution.--The Puddleford Bank.--The Appraisers.--Proceeds of the Execution.

Late in the fall of the year, early one evening, Turtle, Longbow, Bates, the ”Colonel,” Swipes, and Beagle were congregated at the Eagle. Turtle and Bates were engaged at a game of checkers, and each one, fast-anch.o.r.ed at his right hand, had a gla.s.s of whiskey and water, or, as Turtle called it, ”a little diluted baldface.” Their mouths were pierced with a pipe, in the left hand corner, which hung loosely and rakishly down, besmearing their laps with ashes, and now and then they puffed forth a column of smoke. The ”Colonel,” Longbow, and the other Puddlefordians were ranged round the fire. The Colonel sat in a rickety chair, his feet hoisted up on the mantel on a line with his nose, and his shoulders. .h.i.tched over the ends of its posts; the Squire was busily looking into the glowing coals, his hands clasped across his breast, unravelling some question of law, and Swipes sat very affectionately on Beagle's lap, his right arm thrown around his neck.

While in this position, aloud call of ”Hallo!” ”Landlord!” ”O-r-s-t-ler!”

was heard without.

”Stir yer stumps, old Boniface--a traveller in distress,” exclaimed Ike, to Bulliphant, who was asleep on a wooden box behind the bar, and was snoring louder and louder at each succeeding blast.